Divorce Law are a Joke and Dads are the Punch Line

[Decent Dad]

Lindsay.

Fair enough. But if you go into court thinking the law works and the system is fair, you will get creamed. Manage your expectations, know how and why the system works.

[Decent Dad]

Originally Posted by god knows the truth

Decent Dad
Regarding your statement that if parent's incomes were combined, your children would receive OVER $2500.00; you obviously pay at least $1250.00month. Why couldn't I have have married and divorced YOU? That's a nice chunk o' change!!
I'm only joking; trying to put a smile on your face.After reading your posts, sounds like you need a chuckle.

Thanks. I have a very good life. Unfortunately people are interpretting my posts as the "bitter ex". I understand that Jeff and Lindsey are explaining what legally should happen. I am just trying to explain what most likely WILL happen. Of course, it is all my (educated) opinion. I obsolutely do not wish ill-will on anyone (mom's or dad's). I am just supporting the father since they will get screwed if they are not careful. Yup. I may be a little harsh, but father's need to wake up.

[hubby]

Originally Posted by Decent Dad

Thanks. I have a very good life. Unfortunately people are interpretting my posts as the "bitter ex". I understand that Jeff and Lindsey are explaining what legally should happen. I am just trying to explain what most likely WILL happen. Of course, it is all my (educated) opinion. I obsolutely do not wish ill-will on anyone (mom's or dad's). I am just supporting the father since they will get screwed if they are not careful. Yup. I may be a little harsh, but father's need to wake up.

Actually, I interpreted your posts as showing maturity and experience of which many on this board will benefit from.

Sometimes, 'telling it like it is' is what some people are searching for.

Lindsay does have a nice way of saying things from a legal perspective, then again, she should, with that Latte in hand.

Hubby

[Decent Dad]

Well, this is a forum on a lawyer's website, moderated by lawyers and legal clerks. I would only expect them to state the law and be neutral. It only took a few days of reading the threads in here to get me going. Yikes!

The problem is there are multiple groups in this fourm. Only one deals with emotional supportive issues. The rest are legal, parenting and money issues. If people do not want to hear the harsh reality of the courts in the last three groups, stick to the emotional support group. I have no respect for people sticking it to other people, using the kids as weapons and screwing dads over and I will tell them that to their face. And I find it a disservice to fathers who get a rosey picture that everything is going to be okay. Right.

[sasha1]

Originally Posted by hubby

Hoping Jeff or Lindsay can answer this one ...

You know the law stipulates both spouses are entitled to their children, yet, they (the law) turn around, rob one spouse of their ability to provide and say, 'tough'! -- I'm speaking purely finanacially at this point.

Casue really, lets face it, ya gotta have money in this world to raise a family and live ...

If I'm blowing this way out of context, please people, correct me.

Which brings us back to 'undue hardship' ...

Hubby

Ok, again, I've gotta ask, where the h-e-double hockey sticks do you people LIVE? For the non-custodial parent to be 'robbed of their ability to provide'? Again, my ex is the epitomy of an Albertan red-neck.. working the rigs for all his life, making good money, too caught up in his booze and drugs (can't prove the drugs, though) to give a damn about his other responsibilities, if that's what you'd call two sons.. My ex has so totally PROSPERED by not being with me and the kids. Suddenly instead of having a mortgage and a family of four to provide for, the law asks that he kick out $1010 child support for the two kids, and he's good.. at least until we establish a spousal support amount. Still, $1010 out of the average $7000 per month TAKE-HOME pay?! How is this a reasonable amount to expect? Yes, $1010 will keep two kids fed, sheltered and clothed with some thrifty budgetting, but let's face it.. if a parent earns that kind of money, shouldn't the kids be entitled to a little bit better than just getting by? Not necessarily the ex, mind you, but the kids?

[Grace]

Originally Posted by Decent Dad

I have no respect for people sticking it to other people,

Then I suggest you practice what you preach and be more respectful to all of the members in this group.

[Lindsay]

Hi everyone,

To save myself from beating a dead horse, I will only say this:

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Some things may not turn out the way you want them to, but when it comes to fighting for custody, access, or the financial support that you and/or your children are entitled to, giving up before even trying will get you no where. You have to be positive not just for you, but for your children as well. Please do not feed into the idea that you should not even try because you'll just get screwed. I do not call that support, I call it negatively that brings already damaged spirits to an even lower level.

You owe it to yourself to try. Or, at the very least, you owe it to yourself to find the healing you deserve by turning to our members for support. I am so proud to say that I am part of a forum full of people who are on here day in and day out lending their ears and providing their imput out of the kindness of their hearts. Thank you to the members who have been so wonderful.. you know who you are.

Also, thank you to God knows, Grace and hubby for their kinds words.

Lindsay

[Hanging On]

Ok, I'm only adding my two cents to something but there seems to be an idea out there by some dads (or moms) paying child support that the amount is purely for the kids stuff - food, clothes,ect...But, correct me if I'm wrong, isn't child support about making sure they can live by the same standards that they have been used to/or that the other parent can give them? For example, a similar size home? Therefore, child support would go to a portion of the rent/mortgage/heating/utilities, ect?? You are not supporting your wife/husband's "standard of living" but the KIDS standard of living. If Dad lives in a 200,000$ home while Mom has to live in an apartment, even if she is getting 1000$ a month but doesn't have a great job and can't afford anymore, there is a great discrepancy in the children's lifestyles while they are with each parent. When you get married and have children, you have a responsibility to maintain what they have become accustomed to, don't you?.

[Grace]

Lindsay,

Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. Ottawa Divorce Forum has been a god send for me personally, having a support group available 24 hours a day on the Internet, offering a personal and accessible support format. Not to mention not needing to have to search case law, thanks to LV. One caveat with regard to online support forums is that they can be plagued by 'trolls' - people who are there to insult and ridicule legitimate members.

Your one classy lady,
Grace

[Grace]

Hanging On,

It doesnt work that way, as now the family assets are split in half including the matrimonial home, and two households need to be maintained. In most cases I would think that it would be impossible for both ex's to maintain the lifestyle they had while married.