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Katie41 04-14-2009 10:42 AM

Denied Access
 
I pay child support and have an agreement in place that allows me generous access to my sons with two weeks notice to my ex. this was put in place when I lived out of province. I have since moved back to the same province as the children and in fact live 10 minutes away. I have been denied access to them since I refused to allow one of them to move into my house when they, my ex and his wife, got sick of his attitude. I didn't do it because I didn't want him, I did it because he had to realize he can't just get rid of the children when he doesn't want them.

I don't know what to do now. I am still paying support, would prefer not to obviously but also am tired of paying for lawyers when he doesn't have to. He has this uncanny way of getting everything for free.

Any advice anyone could give me.

Thanks,

billm 04-14-2009 11:27 AM

Support and access are not related.

You have an obligation to pay support for your children based on your income.

Your ex has an obligation to support access. I suggest you write down what you want and discuss it with him.

billm 04-14-2009 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katie41 (Post 22317)
... I refused to allow one of them to move into my house when they, my ex and his wife, got sick of his attitude. I didn't do it because I didn't want him, I did it because he had to realize he can't just get rid of the children when he doesn't want them.
...

I agree with the decision, but your reasons are focused on your ex and not your child. Focus on the childs needs, not on teaching your ex lessons in parenting.

AtALoss 04-14-2009 01:24 PM

As the others say try to focus on the needs of the child. In defense of the child, Could their acting out be a way of saying they are not happy with the present arrangements and by acting out they may be trying to get their needs heard? Just a thought... Another consideration that comes to my mind immediately is, I have a 10 yr old who is really being pulled by my ex to go against what she wants. My position has been all along I am not standing in the way of their relationship all I ask is the trueth from her. Recently it turned out she sad she wanted to go live with Dad I said wel if that is what you want then it can happen. She was very upset by having that happen. As it turned out she came to me and said she only said that she was mad at me. We talked she is still with me but the ground rules have been laid out and she is happy with them too. They being that I will not put up with this being used to punish me or that she can run away from the situation when she wants. Told her too that we will have disagreements and that she will at Dads too esp when she is a teen. But I think you get the drift. The kids can manipulate the situation too. I think this is worthey of a heart to heart among all of you. Sort out what is really going on.


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