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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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Old 01-06-2011, 03:16 PM
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Originally Posted by ConcernenedStepMom78 View Post
FAIL.....Point entirely missed, Children have RIGHTS too!!!! Now I know why IPP was getting so upset about C-422, nobody can see past themselves.
Yes, they have rights, but they are also handicapped by an inability to think strategically... Their capability for abstract reasoning is a long way from being developed.

Would you have a child exercise his "right" to choose a parent based on who has the best candy at home?

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:23 PM
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In other words, while the author has a point when it comes to mal-adjusted kids, those kids (hopefully) are in the vast minority. His book will be useful for them, but not most children.
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If the author felt that there was not such a problem, than she would not have written the book.
Did I not just acknowledge that?

My point is that we, as members of that community, tend to think that because our kids are in the danger zone, most are. I would like to believe that we and our children are in the minority.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:26 PM
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I would like to believe that we and our children are in the minority.
As would I.

Sure, they're not sitting on a drought-baked mud flat in Africa with a vulture sitting behind them, patiently waiting for them to draw their last breath, but some of our kids have suffered enormously... I, too, would hope that they're in the minority - desperately so.

Gary
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:27 PM
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Sorry for posting this. Please forget I said anayhting.

Last edited by ConcernenedStepMom78; 01-06-2011 at 04:18 PM.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:32 PM
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Please don't project your isolated case onto the population of children at large.

The system doesn't have the luxury of examining every child's individual situation and making an assessment. That is the parents job, but when the court is forced to be involved, it becomes clear that the parents can't or won't fulfill that responsibility.

So the state, sadly, has to do it for them.

You don't honestly think that children less than 12 years old by and large have the mental capacity to reach mature decisions of this magnitiude, do you?????

If you do, then I suggest that you bone up on your child psychology.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:34 PM
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Sadly some parents really believe that children should be able to chose where they want to live, even when it is to their detriment. Children of the marriage should be able to chose where they want to live when they are adults, just as children from parents who stay together do. This is one of the bonuses of being children - you are shielded from making adult decisions and able to just be a child.

CSM78 - the example that you gave is a very rare one (hopefully) and the events in that young girls life forced her to grow up far too quickly. She was forced into adult situations and eventually became an adult in a child's body, thus able to make adult decisions.

Most children aren't capable of fully understanding consequences and shouldn't be making adult decisions.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:35 PM
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CSM78 Seriously, at what age do you think that a child (not abused) should be able to decide unilaterally where they want to live?
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:37 PM
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I think that it has to be determined case by case, IF a family is in court and it is clear they cannot agree, and they are going to drag their children through hell, I think the Judge should be allowed to speak to the child. IF we as parents and grown ups cannot act like grown ups and our children are acting more like adults then we are, it is clear there is a problem.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:40 PM
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I think that it has to be determined case by case, IF a family is in court and it is clear they cannot agree, and they are going to drag their children through hell, I think the Judge should be allowed to speak to the child. IF we as parents and grown ups cannot act like grown ups and our children are acting more like adults then we are, it is clear there is a problem.
TOTAL fantasy. Do you really think that the state has the resources to train judges to be child psychologists? Or that a psychologists's half hour with a child will suffice?

That's what government and private assessments are designed to do!!!

And those professionals will clearly tell you that children don't have the capacity to make those decisions!!!!!

Holy bang my head against a ginormous wall Batman!!!!
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:41 PM
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Yeah... make the child choose. They probably don't feel bad enough about things already...

My ex forced the kids to choose between us, and they chose me. And I STILL think that was a horrible thing to do, and I would roll back the clock if I could. It's abuse.

Gary
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