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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #401 (permalink)  
Old 01-30-2017, 11:26 PM
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Trinton

Why do you make it sound so ominous? "It is becoming crystal clear......"

So what?? Obviously it is very black and white to you. I accept that.

But honestly! Go address the parents that for WHATEVER reason don't fight for their kids. Who don't ask for 50-50 and are content to see them a few days a month.

Preach to them about how maximum contact is best for their kids and tell them about case law! Support those parents to become involved. Their kids will thrive under their ignorance and apathy, I am sure. (Insert sarcasm here.)

This is why this feels punitive. Because you are blaming gatekeepers for keeping the children from the other parent when in fact you should be encouraging the majority of parents who haven't asked for 50-50 to step up.
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  #402 (permalink)  
Old 01-30-2017, 11:35 PM
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I think I've said it before. Not everyone wants 50/50 (male or female).

Probably are some genuine cases where a parent had mutual agreement with other parent for "EOW screwjob" (as some people like to put it) but it works for them.

I do recognize that people change their minds as years go on. That's fine as long as children's situation is forefront in the decision. Parent(s) may have matured and/or improved their respective situations to be better equipped to be more involved.

On the other hand, children might be extremely resentful to drastic change.

Perhaps, as in Spousal Support, a "reset" button such as a review should be instituted along the way? Should it be automatic? What sort of can of worms would be opened? Hmmmm..... I'm sure the lawyers would LOVE that...
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  #403 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 12:19 AM
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My next question is, what about dads who can't afford to hire a lawyer?

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  #404 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 08:06 AM
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I don't think it is necessarily correct to say that because one doesn't support 50/50 in a particular situation that the person is totally against 50/50 period.
Although I support 50/50 as a general principle I will come right out and say that back when my own D was young, there would have been absolutely no question that I would have had the majority of time and made the big decisions.
I would have fought tooth and nail if I had to, but I wouldn't have had to.
Her dad was too caught up in the party lifestyle to either have the ability or desire to have that kind of responsibility half the time.

Having said that, in a different situation I would have gladly done 50/50 if that is what would have been best for my child.

PS. That doesn't mean I wouldn't have tried to encourage a good relationship with her dad because I think that is important, just that he would not have been capable nor would he have wanted full responsibility half the time.

Last edited by PeacefulMoments; 01-31-2017 at 08:09 AM. Reason: added comment
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  #405 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 08:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
I don't think it is necessarily correct to say that because one doesn't support 50/50 in a particular situation that the person is totally against 50/50 period.
Exactly. Also, I don't think it is necessarily correct to say that because one "does" support 50/50 in a particular situation that the person feels every situation is like this.

I have maintained from the beginning that 50/50 isn't for everybody. Our fellow poster Enscrolled is a good example. I've spoken with 3 people via PM's and advised against 50/50 due to controlling behaviours, abuse and addiction.

I think it's silly for posters to chime in every 5 minutes reminding me it's not for everybody. I've maintained that from the very beginning. It gets exhausting repeating that "I know it's not for everybody".
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  #406 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 08:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Sigh... clearly you didn't read what I even said. I stated I enjoyed the case law you post... what I don't enjoy is the amount of garbage one has to scroll through because you are busy repeating yourself and "calling out" certain posters.

I know you don't like people disagreeing with you and you attempt to twist the words of those who do. I don't really care how many times you have to empty your inbox, or whether it's positive or negative. It would just be nice to focus on the topic and be able to debate the topic (this is a political post right?) without people constantly being put down or called out because they don't agree with your points. A healthy debate has for and against but every time there is an against you and a few others repeat yourselves with posting the exact same case law over and over again and basically stating the other side of the coin is wrong. That is not a debate, that is an "I am right and anyone who disagrees with me is wrong and evil"


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I've never stated I was right and everybody was wrong. Could you point me to where I've said that please?

I haven't called anybody out for not agreeing with me. I call posters out when their stories don't add up based on details they've given....just as we do in many other threads. Sorry if that bothers some.

Enscrolled and others didn't agree on 50/50....I support them. Not sure what you're talking about. I even thanked them for allowing us to see both sides. Stop DIGGING .. Geez. lol

I post caselaw to help others, including myself understand the trends that judges are moving in. Also, I post a variety of caselaw...and peer reviewed studies

Sorry if that bothers you or you don't find it helpful .. I'm certainly glad that I'm helping others though.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-31-2017 at 08:36 AM.
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  #407 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 08:38 AM
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Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
Her dad was too caught up in the party lifestyle to either have the ability or desire to have that kind of responsibility half the time.
How does that make him unfit? What business of yours is it anyway what he does with his life? He can hire a daycare can he not? Grandparents? Women toss kids in daycare or leave them with grandparents all the time during their time.

PS. Don't people usually party on the weekends? On one hand you say he party's and on the other hand you agree to him being an every other "weekend" dad? Seems to be you're pulling and pushing at the same time.

If any single mom ever told me they never left their kid with a grandparent and gone out on a Saturday night I would not believe it. Not a chance. Maybe a very select few single moms.

Last edited by trinton; 01-31-2017 at 08:49 AM.
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  #408 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I've spoken with 3 people via PM's and advised against 50/50 due to controlling behaviours, abuse and addiction.
That's the only time 50/50 should be opposed. When there is risk of serious harm to the child if the child is exposed to the other parent for more than every other weekend. As ridiculous as that sounds.

And that doesn't mean women start raining false allegations of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and/or filling affidavits packed with lies. Many women do that in order to secure sole custody. They hate their ex more than they love their child. It's sad.

Last edited by trinton; 01-31-2017 at 08:47 AM.
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  #409 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 08:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
How does that make him unfit? What business of yours is it anyway what he does with his life? He can hire a daycare can he not? Grandparents? Women toss kids in daycare or leave them with grandparents all the time during their time.

If any women ever told me they never left their kid with a grandparent and gone out on a Saturday night I would not believe it. Not a chance.

PS. Don't people usually party on the weekends? On one hand you say he party's and on the other hand you agree to him being an every other "weekend" dad? Seems to be you're pulling and pushing at the same time.
I would say the wellbeing of my child makes it my business. I am not going to disparage my late husband with all the tales of his behavior in those years, but although I loved him and he tried to be a good dad, he was not capable nor did he want the responsibility that came with full time parenting and yes, half the time you have full time responsibility with 50/50. He knew it and I knew it. There would have been no fighting on this point as he was well aware of the situation and what would have been best for our D which would have been to reside with me and have as much contact and time with him as possible given the circumstances.

This is what I mean by 50/50 is situational. In my situation it would not have been what was best for our child while in many situations it would in fact be the best thing.

PS. By the way, nowhere did I say I would have agreed to him being an eow dad. I gave no specifics on the time because that would have been fluid as the situation evolved, and yes, weekends would have been an issue potentially. I would have done the best I could to ensure they spent as much time together as was positive. There is no pushing and pulling here.

Last edited by PeacefulMoments; 01-31-2017 at 08:59 AM. Reason: Added comment
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  #410 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2017, 09:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
I don't think it is necessarily correct to say that because one doesn't support 50/50 in a particular situation that the person is totally against 50/50 period.

Free Speech:

A) I support free speech
B) I support free speech, as long as nobody is saying bad stuff
C) Free speech is acceptable for those saying good things, and only for that. You need to show that you are saying good things before you get the right to free speech.


Immigration:

A) I support immigration
B) I support immigration, but I would like to exclude the bad immigrants
C) I support immigration, but only those immigrants who can prove that they are good

Death Penalty

A) I am against the death penalty
B) I support the death penalty if we can show the criminal is bad
C) I support the death penalty if the criminal cannot show that they are good

Abortion

A) I support a right to choose
B) I support a right to choose, unless the woman is using abortions gratuitously
C) I support a right to choose, if the woman can show that she has a good reason

Welfare

A) I support welfare
B) I support welfare, as long as the recipient is not abusing the process
C) I support welfare, as long as the recipient can show that their poverty is not their fault.


Quote:
Although I support 50/50 as a general principle I will come right out and say that back when my own D was young, there would have been absolutely no question that I would have had the majority of time and made the big decisions.
Shared Custody

A) I support shared custody
B) I support shared custody, unless one parent is shown to be unfit
C) I support shared custody, as long as both parents can prove that they are fit.

I would argue that you hold a "C" level of support, which is not that much support at all.
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