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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 08:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
It's not a matter of being "inflexible and fixated on money". I have served on the boards of non-profit child care, and it's very clear that what we offer parents is an available space, and they can use it how they choose - every day, only alternate Wednesdays, etc. Operating any other way would be nice but impossible. Think about it: if you have a summer cottage, do you pay the mortgage only during the months that you're staying there? No, because the cottage belongs to you all year round and you use it as you see fit. Same with daycare. Believe me, no one goes into child care to make money.

I'm glad you're a great loving parent. But you're also a harshly judgmental one. If my kid's father was available every day after school during my weeks and wanted to pick up Kid from child care until I was done work, I'd say sure. But that would be my choice, not my obligation.
Why only from day care and not from school? Why would you not want your childs other parent to pick the child up from school? Or for the child to have that experience? Are you sure youre not alienating the child by limiting the father to be an after daycare dad or for a better lack of term a mcdonalds dad?

It would be your choice. One that would be in your childs best interest. As a parent, you do have a moral obligation to ensure what's best fornyour child. That would certainly allow the father more time without taking any from you.

Come on now, whats the real reason you'd want the child to be in daycare after school when dad is available? Every damn day of the week? Do you enjoy creating unncessary costs to the family just because you have to pay a small portion of it?
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted by stripes View Post
It's not a matter of being "inflexible and fixated on money". I have served on the boards of non-profit child care, and it's very clear that what we offer parents is an available space, and they can use it how they choose - every day, only alternate Wednesdays, etc. Operating any other way would be nice but impossible. Think about it: if you have a summer cottage, do you pay the mortgage only during the months that you're staying there? No, because the cottage belongs to you all year round and you use it as you see fit. Same with daycare. Believe me, no one goes into child care to make money.

I'm glad you're a great loving parent. But you're also a harshly judgmental one. If my kid's father was available every day after school during my weeks and wanted to pick up Kid from child care until I was done work, I'd say sure. But that would be my choice, not my obligation.
To your cottAge theory, I dont know what sort of state of the art daycare facility you volunteered for in this state of the art country but any daycare that said I need to pay for days that I don't receive any service from is one that I would not touch with a 10 foot pole. I alreadynfound daycare that you only pay for days that you use.

For a better theory, when your internet stops working, you get money back for the days you didnt havr service, at least with Rogers you do- in case you didn't know. When i rent a cottage or a hotel, I only pay for the duration im there, not the whole year. When you get a mortgage you're paying the bank back for the money you borrowed to buy the cottage. Youre theory is flawed. Perhaps you are confusing the division of property with access.

To the topic of summer, why would you even want your child in daycare in summer? Why not camp? Or why not with dad? Why so fixated on daycare?

Last edited by trinton; 01-09-2017 at 09:06 PM.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 09:22 PM
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Check this out:

http://owlchildcare.org/index.php/se...s/program-fees

Before school care, 2 days a week, $66 a month. You can choose from 2 days a week, 3 days a week, or 4 days a week. Of course the price goes higher. But still reasonable and affordable. And the child doesn't have to be in daycare 24/7. They even have summer camps.

Going to be researching the living hell out of local daycare programs in the next couple of weeks.

Last edited by trinton; 01-09-2017 at 09:27 PM.
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Old 01-09-2017, 09:26 PM
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There should be no child support in shared custody situations. Parents who divorce should not longer be financially contributing to the household of the other parent.

It is completely contradictory to the concept of divorce. Every parent brings certain assets to care for their children whether it is cooking skills, love, money, intelligence etc... Why only equalize money?

I think it would change the dynamic of divorce and custody immensely along with default shared custody.

Unfortunately the feminists will fight it tooth and nail.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
There should be no child support in shared custody situations. Parents who divorce should not longer be financially contributing to the household of the other parent.



It is completely contradictory to the concept of divorce. Every parent brings certain assets to care for their children whether it is cooking skills, love, money, intelligence etc... Why only equalize money?



I think it would change the dynamic of divorce and custody immensely along with default shared custody.



Unfortunately the feminists will fight it tooth and nail.


I believe that as different family dynamics become the norm and female members of the LGBT community start to experience the inequalities of family law, there will be a turning point... maybe not in time for our children but hopefully in time for our children's children.



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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 09:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
False Allegations to create a slimy, false status quo (cheating the system):



It's a quick fix for many parents to get what they want. The "shock and awe" card is played far too often to manufacture a false status quo.

The judge in my case saw the false status quo, saw the gate keeping and denials and turned it around quickly for me. Unfortunately many judges don't. Abuse is tricky. It needs to be addressed and caution needs to be erred.

But what happens when the smoke clears and one parent hasn't seen their child for months due to false allegations but runs in to the new status quo wall that the other parent so cleverly built (complete manipulation of the system). Why do we get Jay walking and parking tickets but this nonsense is condoned?

The MOMENT abuse is not verified the child should be returned to the other parent (who was accused) as the accusing parent should be deemed not fit to properly parent in my view. If you can do that to another human being (a loving parent) and more importantly a CHILD, you require a heavy penalty and supervised visits.


I was going to let this go but I just can't help myself. You started this thread because of me after all
So above you state "the accusing parent should be deemed not fit to properly parent in my view". Do you mean false allegations relating to abuse or false allegations about anything period? If you are going to use false allegations about your ex to further yourself in court where do you draw the line on who is a "fit" parent or not? It's deplorable to falsely accuse a person of abuse, but manufacturing lies and false events in order to further your case....does this make an unfit parent too?


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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 10:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I totally understood your post Peaceful...and agree with it. I was just elaborating.

I also agree that sometimes there is actual abuse that doesn't always have evidence to back it up .. which makes things more complex.

When that's the case, I believe that judges should look at "PATTERNS". Patterns should be studied and investigated thoroughly.

Lately there have been parents stopping by saying "I don't want to give the OP 50/50 because he's a jerk to me..or he has a g/f my kid called mom once...or he's in it for money". They have the audacity to come on these forums, proclaim they're the better parent and that they will not "allow" an equal relationship to the other parent.

If a judge sees a clean police record, no CAS involvement, clean drug tests, and no documented evidence of abuse/power or control whatsoever, no significant disruptions in the child's routine ....... why are these parents still blocking an equal relationship? Why not give it a chance in the very least? These parents are doing their homework and stepping up to the plate. The kids are lucky to have parents who fight so hard. They deserve to have parents like that in their life.

The recent poster "Angie" really boggled my mind. Her ex had 35% access for 5-8 years or something. Dad's in court, spending money and fighting for an equal relationship and mom's saying no. Over a measley 15% increase in time.

Her reasoning is that the kids are being harmed and dad doesn't really want them.

So they won't be harmed at 35% access..but they will at 40%-50%? Does that make sense to anyone else? Anyhow .. that's just an example.

And she says dad's motivated by money ...but he's throwing thousands of dollars in court just to have an equal relationship? If he was that money motivated he wouldn't be putting his lawyers and judges kids through college....he would keep it.

I see this nonsense all the time on these forums and it's gut wrenching. So I took McDreamy's advice and started my own thread in the political forum so she couldn't shut it down.


Dad is not in court. Dad is sending threats and proposals! He hasn't spent a dime actually. If you are going to bring me up in your thread, please get the facts right.



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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 10:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
I was going to let this go but I just can't help myself. You started this thread because of me after all
So above you state "the accusing parent should be deemed not fit to properly parent in my view". Do you mean false allegations relating to abuse or false allegations about anything period? If you are going to use false allegations about your ex to further yourself in court where do you draw the line on who is a "fit" parent or not? It's deplorable to falsely accuse a person of abuse, but manufacturing lies and false events in order to further your case....does this make an unfit parent too?


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Hi Angie ... thanks for stopping by.

To begin, you may have been the catalyst for this thread but I've been meaning to start it for a good while. I've observed threads being derailed on this topic so I thought I'd start a thread where we can get it all out.

Now let's discuss some of your points.

Quote:
So above you state "the accusing parent should be deemed not fit to properly parent in my view". Do you mean false allegations relating to abuse or false allegations about anything period?
I think "any" false allegations are deplorable and ridiculous....including what you say your ex is supposedly doing (although I do't believe you've even seen if he has yet).

However, I can tell you first hand that if you're accused of sexual/physical abuse it changes you forever. It's the most disgusting, outlandish hurtful thing that one person can do to another. The effects can be felt by the child as well as they're questioned by Dr's, detectives, police, witness counselors, etc. All to gain ground in court? You tell me Angie......is that on the same level as whipping up an e-ail about an argument in a Dr's office?

In Vucenovic v. Rieschi, 2012 ONCJ 658 (CanLII):

Quote:
While Ms. Rieschi claims to support Emilee’s relationship with her father, it is clear that she does not really want Mr. Vucenovic to have access to Emilee because otherwise, she would not keep focusing on allegations that he always “lays his hands on her [Emilee].” She cannot on the one hand profess a wish for Emilee to have regular access with her father while on the other complain at length about Mr. Vucenovic’s deficiencies as a person and parent, including having him charged on the eve of this trial on spurious allegations of harassment, and expect to be believed.

64. Furthermore, it would not even be enough to have supervised visits with counselling as that was already tried and proved an insufficient safeguard. Ms. Rieschi would first have to demonstrate through individual treatment that she has changed.
I can cite numerous cases whre judges actually use the terminology "not fit to parent" when it comes to false allegations of abuse or any kind. Unfortunately I can't find many for arguments in Dr' Offices or he said she said stuff, such as in your case.

I hope that answers your question.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-09-2017 at 10:17 PM.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 01-09-2017, 10:13 PM
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Dad is not in court. Dad is sending threats and proposals! He hasn't spent a dime actually. If you are going to bring me up in your thread, please get the facts right
Be careful of the term threat. All he wants is a 50/50 relationship with his child.. but you claim the child will be harmed at 50%....but not 35% Perhaps you can explain that to us.

Didn't you start a thread asking if you could use siblings as leverage to stop him from having more parenting time?

Didn't you say that your ex loved his kids and that your kids would be devastated if you lessened his time? He must be doing something right then. Many of us don't understand why you refuse this minimal increase in parenting time.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-09-2017 at 10:15 PM.
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Old 01-09-2017, 10:25 PM
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I was wondering why a mod would transfer ROFR posts to my 50/50 thread?

Any explanations mods? Just a nice, healthy debate going on here, just as McDreamy recommended we do
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