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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #161 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
I fear this is another question she is going to dodge.
To be honest I want to move on. She keeps stopping by so I have no issue responding.

I wish she would realize that nobody's here to bully her. She doesn't sound like a terrible person or parent.

Questions and discussions like these will actually help prepare her for court. I'm not sure she's seeing that though.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-12-2017 at 04:37 PM.
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  #162 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
To be honest I want to move on. She keeps stopping by so I have no issue responding.

I wish she would realize that nobody's here to bully her.

Questions and discussions like this will actually help prepare her for court. I'm not sure she's seeing that though.
And honestly these are things that you would rather be asked from us before being asked by opposing lawyer or judge. They may not be asked in the same way. And they may be just questions that run through the lawyers or judges mind. But at least you know how to defend yourself in advance. Or better understand your own true motivations. It will also help us better understand the situation. If you avoid simple questions, people will think you have something to hide. We're not the police out to get you or arrest you. If anything, we are trying to help you.

You have to be consistent. You can't say his motivation is money but then say that he loves the kids and is a good dad. You can't say he is harmful to your kids but that he loves his kids and that the kids love him. He sounds like a great dad to me.

You also shouldn't say you have not exposed your child to adult conflict. Especially if you are documenting everything the child tells you, discussing some of those things with the child, and going as far as recording the child. You are also taking part in exposing the child to the adult conflict by litigating through the courts.

You mentioned that something in the order expired about child support? What exactly expired about child support?

Last edited by trinton; 01-12-2017 at 04:42 PM.
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  #163 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 04:48 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
And honestly these are things that you would rather be asked from us before being asked by opposing lawyer or judge. They may not be asked in the same way. And they may be just questions that run through the lawyers or judges mind. But at least you know how to defend yourself in advance. Or better understand your own true motivations. It will also help us better understand the situation. If you avoid simple questions, people will think you have something to hide. We're not the police out to get you or arrest you. If anything, we are trying to help you.

You have to be consistent. You can't say his motivation is money but then say that he loves the kids and is a good dad. You can't say he is harmful to your kids but that he loves his kids and that the kids love him. He sounds like a great dad to me.

You mentioned that something in the order expired about child support? What exactly expired about child support?
It's useless. She just wants to hear that she's right. She doesn't care about any holes or inconsistencies in her stories.

A few years back when I was getting roasted for my story (nobody could believe another human could actually do what my ex did) ... I made the mistake of getting defensive in the beginning. In the end the tough love made me stronger and prepared me more for my case.

I almost feel bad for preparing her for what the opposing party will be presenting in court. But hey...I'm just a nice guy.
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  #164 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
It's useless. She just wants to hear that she's right. She doesn't care about any holes or inconsistencies in her stories.

A few years back when I was getting roasted for my story (nobody could believe another human could actually do what my ex did) ... I made the mistake of getting defensive in the beginning. In the end the tough love made me stronger and prepared me more for my case.

I almost feel bad for preparing her for what the opposing party will be presenting in court. But hey...I'm just a nice guy.
and I don't think she realizes that you've been through this and came out with 50/50, nor does she realize that I'm pretty much the dad on the other side, who is looking to increase his time but is being argued similar things against.

I've been hearing it all for the last 2 years. and for another 2 years before that. Nothing was ever substantiated. I'm this abusive person that has been abusive to the child and to the mother (based on what mom says). CAS referrals have been made and the Police have been involved, investigated me, etc. Never any substantiated concerns.

Also based on what mom says (in an affidavit), it's not in the best interests of the child to have more time with me. But she has been giving me more time. She recently consented to my motion (fear of losing and being ordered my costs) to take my child out of the country for over a week. How can she possibly argue of any concerns with the child under my care but allow me to take her out of the country for an extended period of time? Am I really that abusive? Absurd.

Not all women are the same, and obviously not all men are the same. But the game is the same. You can't hate the player, hate the game.

Last edited by trinton; 01-12-2017 at 05:14 PM.
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  #165 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
and I don't think she realizes that you've been through this and came out with 50/50, nor does she realize that I'm pretty much the dad on the other side, who is looking to increase his time but is being argued similar things against.

I've been hearing it all for the last 2 years. and for another 2 years before that. Nothing was ever substantiated. I'm this abusive person that has been abusive to the child and to the mother (based on what mom says). CAS referrals have been made, both by daycare and both by mom. Police have been involved, investigated me, etc. Also based on what mom says (in an affidavit), it's not in the best interests of the child to have more time with me. But she has been giving me more time. She recently consented to my motion (fear of losing and being ordered my costs) to take my child out of the country for over a week. How can she possibly argue of any concerns with the child under my care but allow me to take her out of the country for an extended period of time?

Not all women are the same, and obviously not all men are the same. But the game is the same. You can't hate the player, hate the game.
Yep. When my ex first alleged abuse the courts had no choice but to order supervised access. Only a few hours/week with the love of my life (my daughter).

One visit we played in the park, got all dirty and sweaty. I "ALWAYS" gave my daughter a bath when my ex and I were together. Yes it was a short access, but I gave her a bath to clean her up. It was also to show her that daddy can still do the things he used to .. that I wasn't some stranger now. But mostly..because she NEEDED a friggen bath.

Next thing I know ex calls CAS and alleges sexual abuse because D5 said "Daddy said the shark can't go under water". We have one big plastic shark and a bunch of little fish. The big shark floats around eating the little fish...kind of like hungry hungry hippos. Ex knew about this toy. So I bet you can guess what she said the shark was.....yep...my penis.

D5 went through all sorts of tests, inappropriate questioning by unqualified counselors, you name it. I was so pissed that someone would subject a little, innocent girl to all this mature crap.

CAS came for a visit. I had NO idea what to expect. When I heard about the Shark...I ran so fast upstairs and got the actual toy. The CAS worker's eyes bugged out.

After the complaint was made my ex made sure she went on a long vacation. Even when CAS and police confirmed no abuse...I didn't get access for a good 4 weeks. Cried myself to sleep every single night missing my daughter.

This sort of thing happened to me over and over (abuse, sexual, psychological..you name it...) for 2 years while my ex kept trying to build her status quo of no dad in the picture.

Stripes, S&T..and pretty much all the females here will NEVER have to experience that, which is why they just don't get it. They actually kicked me while I was down on my threads calling me a liar, an abuser, a conspiracy theorist, etc. But it made me stronger in the end. Perhaps in their next life karma will take place and they'll experience it...although I don' wish that on anybody. (Kudos to posters like Rioe, Arabian, Mr. T, etc who helped me through it).

I stayed up until dawn every night preparing my case, coffee maker always ready to go.

I wasn't going to stop until I had 50/50 or sole custody. She's lucky she agreed to 50/50 .... I strongly believe I would've had sole if it went to trial.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-12-2017 at 05:16 PM.
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  #166 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 05:37 PM
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LF32 and Trinton - I do not believe that Ange's situation is anywhere remotely similar to the nightmares the the two of you have respectively endured in the past.

1. The "binders" she refers to, I believe, are merely the collection of homework books are they not? Parents sign these things acknowledging work assigned etc. If I am incorrect please do enlighten me. I interpreted her reference to these as a way of emphasis on father not having any involvement in child's academics.
2. S h e and the F a t h e r are only at the stage where one lawyer has sent the other a letter. Nobody is going to court yet. The two have plenty of time to work out their issues before that happens. Both of you know that at the early stages of case conferences these things are usually dealt with and out-of-court agreements made. If the poster refers to "court" and "judge" in her posts, she is merely looking ahead at "what could have" scenerios.
3. Sad and Tired's situation was entirely different from your situations (as she has pointed out).

I maintain that not everyone wants or seeks a 50/50 custody arrangement.

I think it is often easy to get access/parenting time mixed up with custody. Perhaps that is where this conversation has gone sideways?
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  #167 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 05:57 PM
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LF32 and Trinton - I do not believe that Ange's situation is anywhere remotely similar to the nightmares the the two of you have respectively endured in the past.
Yea, I know they're way different. It felt cathartic to talk about it though. Like many, we just don't think much of story makes sense....she seems to be be putting her foot in her mouth a lot.

Quote:
1. The "binders" she refers to, I believe, are merely the collection of homework books are they not?
She did that too. But the binder is of 8 years of documenting "bad parenting" and alleged "HARM" to her kids (that she nothing about)

Here's what she wrote:

Quote:
Guess what? I have a documented journal full of many examples of bad parenting calls. I have an organized binder as well where I keep all the emails and have written my notes attached to them.
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Both of you know that at the early stages of case conferences these things are usually dealt with and out-of-court agreements made.
Yea, we're trying to save her the brutality of court over a few measly days of parenting time. The reasoning for denying it is..well...nonsense really. In my opinion anyways.

Quote:
Sad and Tired's situation was entirely different from your situations (as she has pointed out).
Yea, I pointed that out too. Totally different. BUT, dad left a note for S&T and the kid accidentally read it. S&T brought up "abuse" and "CAS" over that....like the father meant to leave it for the kid. I was pointing out that during the emotional stages of a separation, CAS and ABUSE shouldn't come out of anyone's mouth unless its real.

Quote:
maintain that not everyone wants or seeks a 50/50 custody arrangement.
Definitely not. You're right. I have said this from my VERY first post Arabian. In this particular case, I do't see why not though.

Quote:
I think it is often easy to get access/parenting time mixed up with custody. Perhaps that is where this conversation has gone sideways?
I'm strictly talking about equal time with each parent.

Arabain .. you're a smart cookie and I know you'll answer.

If your child was being psychologically harmed for 8 years under an almost equal parenting regime. Would you sit back and observe the harm and document all that time? Or would you do something about it? You're a tough lady .. I think I already know.

In fact I ask this to all the parents out there. Would you watch your children be harmed for 8 years and not do anything about it? In my view the question is a rhetorical one. But you never know.

(Refer to permalink 156 on pg # 16)

Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-12-2017 at 06:11 PM.
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  #168 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 06:17 PM
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I haven’t seen a debate yet, has anyone else seen one?

(which is surprising, given what the OP has indicated is his career choice).
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  #169 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 06:37 PM
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I haven’t seen a debate yet, has anyone else seen one?

(which is surprising, given what the OP has indicated is his career choice).
eww ... Zing!! Mocking me? Other mods......is that jab okay?

It's okay. You're cool McDreamy. How in the world can you not see a debate?

So, in case you missed it we're debating the criteria parents use to deny a 50/50 equal relationship. Given the amount of views and opinions ... I'd say it's going quite well. Please don't look for a reason to close another thread.
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  #170 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2017, 06:41 PM
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meh, you jumped the shark on Page 2, when you intentionally brought in another poster to the thread, who wasn't part of the 'debate'. See how that works?

If you really want to be a lawyer when you grow up, as you say you do, you can’t be jumping the shark.
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