Who would have thought? (looong)

[rwm1273]

Originally Posted by JayJay

I do earn more than he does. He has an entry-level job (despite undeniable professional qualifications) and I'm at a higher level (he loves to say "2X", but it's not exactly true). But I'm stuck with our common debts (mortgage, etc.) which he won't share. Basically, he told me that he would contribute 1/3 (when? I don't know), but only the essential stuff (he hasn't defined "essential" yet). He won't pay the mortgage because he doesn't "live in the house anymore", so it's not his to pay. It's so irrational, I'm having a hard time understanding what he's allowed to do, what he's not. I'm just afraid I'm going to go bankrupt.

Well he will get raises and promotions, and he will increase his support accordingly.

[InterprovincialParents]

OK...so back to helping and supporting the poster, JayJay??

[tugofwar]

Originally Posted by JayJay

He considers visits as doing me a favor. He's not interested in contributing whether in terms of time, energy or money. Every discussion we've had ends up with him turning his back on me and saying "Well you earn more than I do anyway". So, please, do not compare, don't project, and don't think that I'm judging ALL fathers, I'm not, end of the discussion.

Are you sure we don't have the same ex. If you haven't started any legal proceedings, just be warned that all the above might change. Once he sees that he will have to financially support his child(ren) he could do what my ex has started. And the more you become independent of him and stand up for your rights, all hell could break loose.

As for the house situation, if he's not living there I don't think that you can do a heck of a whole lot to get him to pay.

I suggest trying to get a separation agreement made up and decide what you will do with the house. If you can't afford it you might be forced to sell. Can you re-mortgage? You will probably have to split equalization 50/50 if you own the house and buy him out.

Just take it day by day. You will be going thru alot of different stages and the best stage is acceptance and once you reach it things get a whole lot better.

Im glad you came back and hope you stay and get as much helpful advice as possible. We have done that, been there so everyone here contributes in different ways with different experiences and learn from one another (if you can take some backlashing and trust me it actually will help you see things in a different light) It also can prepare you in dealing in the future in not so ideal situations!