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Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-19-2010, 08:00 PM
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That was alittle uncalled for. The new poster felt that they needed to provide some background and got stomped all over really for no reason. I hate to dis-encourage people from getting some knowledge and useful information from this forum.
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Old 09-19-2010, 09:00 PM
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Considering the not so nice comment left in the originating amended post...I have to ask ... Who stomped Who?
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Old 09-19-2010, 09:11 PM
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I agree, I don't think using profanity makes anyone seem better or the bigger person
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Old 09-19-2010, 09:38 PM
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All the poster did was give a long drawn out story about how the ex was not a good spouse and played the blame card throughout. There was no question, no legal advice sought, no family law issues raised.

Some people here are compassionate to the suffering that parties go through as a result of their spouse's marital conduct and that's fine. I make no apologies for not being interested in hearing how you got screwed around on, or that your spouse was a terrible person. I don't give mine here. It's a good one, but this isn't the place for it. I'm not going to be the shoulder for people to cry on. That's a job for the therapists.
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Old 09-19-2010, 09:48 PM
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I understand DDTE, she just joined and honestly looking back when I first started, you have no idea where to even begin. Give them a chance, and if your not interested in whatever they wrote, then please move on and don't waste your own time responding.
I get it, get to the questions... but she is fresh at this and confused etc. Give them a chance. Some of us might be able to handle being alittle more sensitive and reflect back and feel for these posters cause that's how we all started out. Confused, and looking for alittle support.
Also, this was posted in the introductions section. Not divorce, family law etc. So, she was just introducing herself.
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Old 09-19-2010, 10:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
All the poster did was give a long drawn out story about how the ex was not a good spouse and played the blame card throughout. There was no question, no legal advice sought, no family law issues raised.

Some people here are compassionate to the suffering that parties go through as a result of their spouse's marital conduct and that's fine. I make no apologies for not being interested in hearing how you got screwed around on, or that your spouse was a terrible person. I don't give mine here. It's a good one, but this isn't the place for it. I'm not going to be the shoulder for people to cry on. That's a job for the therapists.
I agree with some of your statement, but often these forums are the only place for people to turn to. Their friends and family often don't understand, and frankly only someone who has been through a nasty divorce truly knows what goes on.

What I don't like is when mostly women complain about their former partner. I may be biased here since I am a man, but honestly I am sure most men are not as bad as women paint us to be. Further to this, our courts and family law system is biased towards women, and I don't see how they have much room to complain when things don't go their way in court. To me if that is the case, then I think it is because there is much more to the story, but I do concede that sometimes women do get a bad judge from time to time.

I don't want all you women to jump all over me, but if you want we can discuss the bias that is open to women that want to abuse the system. There are so many areas that women are given the benefit of the doubt. There are no men's shelters like there are for women. Most men will get laughed at if they try to claim they were abused by their partner. If the police come to your house due to a domestic abuse call, and you both claim the other person was the abuser, it is the man who is arrested and taken away. More women are awarded custody of the kids when a shared parenting arrangement should be used. Often educated women who are capable of working after divorce don't because they get spousal support, and nobody ever questions why they don't work. And when it comes to women who don't have custody of the kids, often either are not ordered to pay support, or if they do get ordered to pay, it is often not based on their true income or potential for income, which would not be the same if a man were in the same position.
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Old 09-19-2010, 10:22 PM
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No comment...
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Old 09-19-2010, 10:44 PM
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Default I know I said no comment but....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
I agree with some of your statement, but often these forums are the only place for people to turn to. Their friends and family often don't understand, and frankly only someone who has been through a nasty divorce truly knows what goes on.
That was well put but then you go on with this....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
What I don't like is when mostly women complain about their former partner. I may be biased here since I am a man, but honestly I am sure most men are not as bad as women paint us to be. Further to this, our courts and family law system is biased towards women, and I don't see how they have much room to complain when things don't go their way in court. To me if that is the case, then I think it is because there is much more to the story, but I do concede that sometimes women do get a bad judge from time to time.

I don't want all you women to jump all over me, but if you want we can discuss the bias that is open to women that want to abuse the system. There are so many areas that women are given the benefit of the doubt. There are no men's shelters like there are for women. Most men will get laughed at if they try to claim they were abused by their partner. If the police come to your house due to a domestic abuse call, and you both claim the other person was the abuser, it is the man who is arrested and taken away. More women are awarded custody of the kids when a shared parenting arrangement should be used. Often educated women who are capable of working after divorce don't because they get spousal support, and nobody ever questions why they don't work. And when it comes to women who don't have custody of the kids, often either are not ordered to pay support, or if they do get ordered to pay, it is often not based on their true income or potential for income, which would not be the same if a man were in the same position.
I understand your frustrations but not sure how this ties in with this thread because the original post has been deleted.
You have been taken for a ride, we get it. You fought your ass off and paid dearly for what you believed in and luckily you succeeded. Im doing the same.
Congratulations. But, Im tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. Yes I think that there are equally the same amount of horrible parents both female and males alike. You take out your frustrations about females and group us all in the same basket. That I don't like and take lightly.

Last edited by tugofwar; 09-19-2010 at 10:55 PM.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 09-20-2010, 11:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tugofwar View Post
You take out your frustrations about females and group us all in the same basket. That I don't like and take lightly.
I don't think so. I think that rwm has had some very valid points in several of the threads.

I think that all of us, at some point or another are frustrated by the opposite sex. It happens. And it is good for one's mental health to be able to go to a place or a person where they can vent. Perhaps the solution to it is to create a new main thread topic "Vents" "Blowing off steam" whatever, so that people are not attacked for getting it out of their system.

The forums are supposed to be here to help people, right? So why not be tolerant of everyone? I have not beed divorced, and am happily married, but I work in the field, so I see the tears, the anger, the confusion and sense of loss, the fear of "what now?", the shock at the costs, the frustrations with our legal system, the allegations, the bitter battles, the custody wars first hand...

My take on all posts are: if I have something relevant to add to it, I will, if I don't I will read and pass by, and if it drives me batty, I might or might not respond, depending on the subject/topic, and how batty it has made me...Each of us is able to react. It is a public forum. But can you imagine what the forum would be like if, instead of trying to help, we simply attacked one another's views?
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 09-20-2010, 11:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
What I don't like is when mostly women complain about their former partner. I may be biased here since I am a man, but honestly I am sure most men are not as bad as women paint us to be. Further to this, our courts and family law system is biased towards women, and I don't see how they have much room to complain when things don't go their way in court. To me if that is the case, then I think it is because there is much more to the story, but I do concede that sometimes women do get a bad judge from time to time.

I don't want all you women to jump all over me, but if you want we can discuss the bias that is open to women that want to abuse the system. There are so many areas that women are given the benefit of the doubt. There are no men's shelters like there are for women. Most men will get laughed at if they try to claim they were abused by their partner. If the police come to your house due to a domestic abuse call, and you both claim the other person was the abuser, it is the man who is arrested and taken away. More women are awarded custody of the kids when a shared parenting arrangement should be used. Often educated women who are capable of working after divorce don't because they get spousal support, and nobody ever questions why they don't work. And when it comes to women who don't have custody of the kids, often either are not ordered to pay support, or if they do get ordered to pay, it is often not based on their true income or potential for income, which would not be the same if a man were in the same position.
Yes, he has some valid points, but he keeps lumping all women (or most women) in the same basket and it is getting old.

Stop spewing your breakfast unless you can back it up with facts.
I for one am sick of reading your sexist comments. Just because you write well and can flower it up doesn't mean that it isn't in there.

And even after posting your facts..how the heck is that HELPING ANYONE? We all know there is a bias, we all know that women are more likely to "get the kids", so what's your point? If your posts are not helping someone plan the next step, deal with an ex or whatever, stop pissing all over "most women". I think we've had enough of it in the marriage!

My suggestion for you..get some therapy and start a blog.
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