Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Introductions

Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-22-2013, 11:47 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 23
Tiredfella is on a distinguished road
Question tired... and looking for help with CS/post secondry

Hey All!

Well where to begin.... I'll keep it short. Had daughter when I was 18, been paying support for 16 years, never disputed it never left her and was always there in her life. 7 months ago cops call and say you need to come get your daughter. Her and mom have gotten into a fight and daughter is being kicked out. I go. Keep her in her school until the ladies cool off and think with a clear head. Mom wants her stuff out by Friday.... I stop support through FRO, mom agrees. (she lives about an hour from me). I go get the stuff cuz daughter not allowed at the house.... manage to get her into a local HS a month into her graduating semester. Get her two P/T jobs. Grades keep up, graduates!! daughter visits mom about 4 times over a period of 5 months. I haven't heard anything from mom. One weekend daughter says she is going to stay with mom. Mom says kid has been talking about this for a while but that it was up to child to tell me not her...... 1 week goes by then "where's my money" suggest mediation, lawyer??? no response but that I'm being a child and obviously cant discuss these matters?????? tell her that I figured she would at least give me until September to get things back in order. She says FRO needs a new order to start payments. I say OK. Ask what is going on with tuition and loans? get told it's paid... Daughter tells me uncle paid as a gift! I say wow! Ask if they started looking on line for used books? no. I pick up 4 out of 6 books in two hours on line for a fraction of the cost. mom finds out and runs to the school and buys remaining two from bookstore......

Get papers in the mail asking for past two months of support. 89% of tuition and past three years of T4s..... claims she only makes $11,000.00 a year (self employed) her common law only makes about $70g but yet they live in a $400k+ house, two new cars,3 trips abroad this year alone......

we have never exchanged T4s, she has been to my house and I to hers???? now is looking for more money all of a sudden. I've never avoided payment and never contested it, why would I now. I would just like some of the money going directly to my child instead of supporting her lifestyle. It just seems the more I work the more I pay and it goes directl into her pocket..... just tired of being treated like a deadbeat and having zero control.......

thinking of going to court over a few issues but lawyers keep telling me there is not a hope in hell......

Thoughts???

thanks, that was about as brief as I would get it,,,,,,
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2013, 08:39 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,138
SadAndTired is on a distinguished road
Default

Where will daughter live while in post secondary?
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2013, 09:03 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 23
Tiredfella is on a distinguished road
Default

she will be living at her mothers. The plan was originally for her to live here as I am closer to the college but she refuses to discuss it stating that she is encouraging our daughter to use public transport........ 18 year old with a car.......... 2 hr bus ride...... hmmmm just a guess that her little car wont last.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 08-23-2013, 11:54 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

"She refuses to discuss it.."
Why on earth would you discuss it with your ex? Discuss it with your 18 year old adult daughter. Ask HER if she would prefer to live with you, closer to college. Suggest to HER that you pay support directly to her, instead of through her mother. Let her make the decision out of the glare of her mother's eye.

As to the mother's boyfriend, and their gazillion dollar house, let it go. This is your child, you pay support based on your income. You will split tuition based on yours and her mother's income. You will spend $100,000 on legal costs and auditing costs to try to prove she earns more than she states.

What you do have a right to ask for are her full tax returns for the last three years that should include statement of business activitiy. This should be provided immediately, and you will not proceed with further action to file with FRO until they are provided. You make this clear in WRITING and you keep a copy - send one copy by registered post and send a copy as an email attachment - so that if she goes to court you can show that she has refused to provide full financial disclosure.

Why was the mother not paying support to you while the daughter was living with you?
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 08-24-2013, 11:18 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 23
Tiredfella is on a distinguished road
Default

I never asked for any and from what I understand through reading a few things from this site and speaking with lawyers, I have no say as to how the money is used since she is the custodial parent? My daughter chose to back to her moms, so I'm not sure that the living arrangements will change. As far as the back pay she is going for, does she not have to show why she needs this all of a sudden? I've never hidden from her??? She has always been in contact with me???
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:49 AM.