Thanks for all your information

[Lookingforward]

I am in the final process of a very painful divorce. No kids thankfully to fight over, or I feel extremely worn out, and I settled a counter offer to him for I think, a lot more than he was entitled to.

I discovered your forum a few weeks ago, and though my divorce is almost final after only a year and half, I still have a few questions that are worrying me.

I feel quite foolish for staying with this jerk for 16 years, and forgiving him for running around and leaving me after only 3 years of marriage. I forgave him and was then horribly locked in for the next 12 years.

I discovered more infedelity, he cancelled our house and auto insurance, and I found out I was driving uninsured. and his money was going to porno. He drives a motorcycle uninsured and unlicenced, and is owing personal taxes to the tune of 50,000$ due to non payment.

He has ruined my credit, and has had all the utilites turned off at least 5 times in the last year.

although, I used a 10,000$ inheritence for a down payment on a home, I understand that it is contributed to the family home and is non retrievable.

I suppose you are wondering why I stuck it out for so long.........I don't know. My self esteeem is nothing, and after repeatedly bieng told I was nothing but a bunch of foul names, I believed I was worth no more than that.

It was an unhappy convenient celebet marriage for 12 years, and although I was beaten down, I have sought medical help, and am getting on my feet. Hense the divorce.

I own my own Gog Training business in the Burlington, Oakville, Ontario area, Train Service Dogs, and offer Services to board, train, and walk dogs. It is 5 years old and now is starting to be successful. My clients have been so supportive, and wonderful to me, and have bent their ear on several occations. They are truly good friends. I have a wonderful father, and sister supporting me, and having lost my mother last year, am carrying on with a lot more hope for the future.

I have found a new me, and solace in the great outdoors, by hiking, and improving my health. I am on my way to being able to look at myself in the mirror, and worth something.

I have a lot of dreams, and and have fulfilled a few of them. I am looking forward to a new life, and adventure on my own.

But I still feel quite stupid and foolish for enduring the crap for 16 years. Has anyone else done the same thing? Has your life transpired to something exciting?

[Ariana]

Hello,

No, my life has not transformed into something better yet. I'm not as far along as you are. You might find this site useful reading but keep in mind, it's written by a narcissist:

http://samvak.tripod.com/msla.html

You did what you thought was right at the time and you had reasons that worked for you then - when they stopped working for you, you did something about it. What more can you ask of yourself? If you were the only person in the world who did something stupid or made a bad decision in life, that would be one thing. All it means is that you're human, like the rest of us, and the most important thing you can do to really move forward, is forgive yourself and let go. You're on the right track.