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Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 07-30-2012, 05:37 PM
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Now that she has a lawyer cease any and all communication with her. She very well may be bull-sh***ing you.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 07-30-2012, 05:50 PM
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Default Is she appealing

Call the court back and ask if she is appealing the divorce.
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 07-30-2012, 10:30 PM
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Tried to contact the Court by phone today and only got a voice mail saying leave a message and they would respond within 24 hours. Hope to have more information by tomorrow night.

Thank you to all you have been of assistance. It sure helps. Just hope I can finally get a couple of hours sleep tonight -- haven't had much in the last few weeks/months -- just been on pins and needles hoping this thing could go smoothly. Right now, totally FUBAR!!!!

Talk later. Great to share and read other people's stories. Again, thanks to all.
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 07-30-2012, 10:37 PM
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Hi, Arabian:

I realize that what you said about no communication whatsoever with her if she has a lawyer and also may just be b.s.'ing....quite possible. She's quite innovative and devious. I don't know how she could even retain a lawyer as you usually have to put up some $$$ up front and she doesn't have it. No doubt stunned enough to think they will just send the bill to me!!!

She parked outside my place of work last week ALL DAY until I finished work. She did throw some papers at me (which, of course, being somewhat shell-shocked by her just showing up) ended up dumped in my car. Now I'm worrying about if some sort of response from me is required and if so, what time limitation there might be. Long weekend just days away and the next week I'm scheduled to be away (out-of-town) for a 10-day camping trip. Don't want to lose out by 'default' and right now it doesn't seem I can get accurate information.

You seem to be a very knowledgeable person on this site so any insight you may be able to provide is much appreciated.
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 07-30-2012, 10:41 PM
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Hi, Arabian:

I realize that what you said about no communication whatsoever with her if she has a lawyer and also may just be b.s.'ing....quite possible. She's quite innovative and devious. I don't know how she could even retain a lawyer as you usually have to put up some $$$ up front and she doesn't have it. No doubt stunned enough to think they will just send the bill to me!!!

She parked outside my place of work last week ALL DAY until I finished work. She did throw some papers at me (which, of course, being somewhat shell-shocked by her just showing up) ended up dumped in my car. Now I'm worrying about if some sort of response from me is required and if so, what time limitation there might be. Long weekend just days away and the next week I'm scheduled to be away (out-of-town) for a 10-day camping trip. Don't want to lose out by 'default' and right now it doesn't seem I can get accurate information. So many office staff, etc. are also on vacation especially at the end of July/first of August. Don't imagine that counts for much when it comes to Court deadlines, though.

You seem to be a very knowledgeable person on this site so any insight you may be able to provide is much appreciated.
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2012, 05:26 PM
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Hello again, all:

Just a quick (?) update from yesterday. Upon checking with the Superior Court of Justice, my Divorce Order was signed July 11/12 and August 12/12 is the "effective date" -- if wishing to re-marry. Yeah, right. Won't go that route again unless appropriate paperwork is all in order. Fortunately, my current lady-friend is totally businesslike on such matters and has been tremendous help and personal support to me. All these papers just boggle my brain. It's been hard on her, too, as she insists on 'stepping back' when it comes to issues between the X and I. She says it's totally inappropriate and would only serve to 'put gas on the fire'. Smart lady, eh?? But, she's here for me to help me understand the paperwork and advise me of who to contact and what to ask for.

At any rate, according the the Senior Court Clerk today, my Divorce File # such and such, was opened, dealt with, and now closed. It is totally FALSE that my EX's late answer was accepted and there is absolutely no record of her initiating a new proceeding as of this date. Apparently, my position with the Courts right now is O.K. and if the EX starts anything new, then I must be served accordingly with the appropriate forms. Also found out that the EX cannot serve papers on me herself -- which she portrayed herself to be doing last Thursday.

Going to totally enjoy a bar-b-que and a few cocktails with my lady this evening and feel a lot more relaxed than has been possible for a week. Believe it or not fellow men, there are still some good, decent trustworthy women in this world who are quite capable of taking care of themselves and not always looking for a 'meal-ticket'. Without my lady, I'd be a total basket-case by now.

I'm still going to follow this web-site as it's totally mind-boggling just what goes on and how the Family Laws need some radical, up-to-date changes. I wish you all success, happiness and peace in your own journeys and wish you all the best.

Will let you know if and when anything changes for me, but in the interim, I'm going to enjoy a few days or weeks of peace.

Thanks to all on the website -- the exchanges have been of immense help to me. God Bless.
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2012, 05:30 PM
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Castaway:

You sound like a good guy who found a good woman to share your life with...congratulations. I hope you have the good fortune to not have anymore litigation with your ex-spouse.

Best wishes!
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2012, 05:31 PM
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Great news!Ive got an ex like yours and Ive got a long haul in front of me ,but hearing people escape permanently from these high conflict damaged individuals is rather heartening.Congrats!!!
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2012, 07:15 PM
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That's great news! I can feel the relief in your words on the screen
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 07-31-2012, 09:22 PM
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Thank you for all the 'well wishes'. I truly appreciate it. Lord only knows what the immediate future might hold, though. It's even more difficult when the EX is US and I'm Canadian. But, like I said, for the moment, I want to enjoy the temporary relief.

There is no doubt in my mind (in hindsight, of couse), that I was duped from the beginning. Fellow posters, DO NOT enter into a marriage or any other type of 'permanent' relationship without the proper paperwork in order. It's somewhat like car insurance -- do you take out car insurance and then immediately go out and look for an accident???? It's terribly sad that our politically-correct society has reduced us all to being cynics. Plus, that attitude is destructive in a relationship. My 'lady friend' is so exasperated with me that she left this evening after I (unfortunately) took out my frustration (verbally) on her. This woman has gonads like you wouldn't believe!!! Why the heck am I estranging the most dedicated, loyal, truthful woman I've ever encountered??? I'm such an ass -- defending my EX when my 'present' is telling me things I'd rather not admit to myself!!! And yet, she still says "You're going through an awful lot to process and I'm a convenient target -- but be careful what you wish for because you just might get it". She went home in tears because she feels so badly for me and there's only so much she feels she can do and she's extremely sensitive to 'outside interference' in any way, shape or form. I've had my family totally involved in my life forever. Could this possibly be the reason why I'm going through Divorce #2???? My 'present' lady-friend says it's just so emotionally draining on her (not that she's a wimp in any stretch of the imagination), but a person can only take so much. She, herself, is presently dealing with in-laws from her previous marriage (husband passed away) and trying to satisfy all of his family with whatever grave-marker is to be placed on his cremation site. She is such a sensitive, caring person who tries to please everyone and no one seems to consider what she has faced and is still facing in 'tying up loose ends'. I must admit, that I'm too involved in my own life to give much thought to what she must be feeling -- guess I just take it for granted that she's a strong woman who has had to handle everything thrown at her. She tells me that's she is emotionally and mentally at a breaking point and is very sorry that she can't be all things to all people. Her family (both immediate and former in-laws) don't appear to consider the strain on her -- everybody seems to just look at her and think "what can you do for me today?". I strongly suspect she has "had it". However, I'm still worried about what my EX may be up to next.

Any suggestions or advice?

Last edited by castaway; 07-31-2012 at 09:26 PM. Reason: typo
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