Seperated Newbie Here

[MoEcho]

Hello everyone.

This is my first time here, but I'm not new to forums at all. I have found forums to be wonderful, supportive, caring resources filled with amazing people!!

Today I reach out for support. Hopefully I can give some as well if anyone is in need.

Stats:
VERY newly separated (5 days or so)
Unsure how to proceed (I guess that feeling is normal)

I am still living in the same house (thank God it's a big one) with my common law partner. (Bad idea? I think so too ) It's just too soon to jump the gun and do anthing 'rash'

She found a new haircut, a new wardrobe, new shoes, and a new life .. that doesn't seem to include me. She is 'unsure if she wants to invest more time into this relationshp' .. whatever that means.

That is my problem in a nutshell. I feel lost, helpless and ALONE in this big house.

I am looking for peace ... or as close to it as I can get for now. How do you quiet the viscious cycle of negativity? How do you calm the anxiety? I am tired of hearing my heart beating in my ears and my chest filling up with warm frustration. I guess, these are all normal feelings too.

Thanks for listening everyone.

/End Rant

Heidi

[pemachine]

I love it when people refer to relationships as though they were members of a board of directors. LOL. "I'm unsure if the dividends received on this transaction outweigh the expenditures," and other such nonsense.

If she is already finding her way to a 'new life' then maybe you should as well. If she is 'unsure' then she will probably become sure soon enough, especially if she sees you doing the same thing as her... but don't be stagnant. You need to heal yourself now and languishing in anxiety and sorrow isn't going to get you anywhere. Not that it's easy, i realize that... but give it a try.

When/if you are ready to proceed with something definite in ending the relationship, we can help you with all sorts of advice to make sure you don't go through the ringer, emotionally or financially. Just let us know.

good luck.

[MoEcho]

Thanks Pemachine. I am trying my best to get on with things and hope that she comes around. I won't wait forever, but I owe her at least a few more weeks. She stood by me through some rough times of my own. I still love her and want this to work. If she needs 'time' that is what I'll give her... (and I'll try not to let her see me cry )