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Old 07-11-2012, 10:36 AM
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ehbe1036 is on a distinguished road

Some very good points, definately valid. We haven't even moved out of the house yet, it will take time to heal and adjust. My counselor has already told me to leave the self-help books alone. Instead read books like "On your own again" and as you say, revitalize my life!
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Old 07-11-2012, 10:51 AM
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Location: Western Canada
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arabian will become famous soon enough

My ex didn't have a "say" when I filed for divorce either. Even though he was banging our employee's wife, and I found out about it, he was absolutely amazed. I guess he thought I would just be pissed off for a while and then get over it. Not a chance. I put up with physical and verbal abuse long before that happened. He actually had his lawyer question me at one point to see if I was serious in wanting a divorce. My response to the lawyer was "are you fucking crazy? Do you want me to move in with him and his girlfriend?"

Whats done is done. Unfortunate these things don't happen in the first few years of marriage. Living with someone for many years and then having it end this way is really, really disappointing.

You will feel much better once you are out on your own, in your own place. Don't drag it out.
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Old 07-11-2012, 11:04 AM
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ehbe1036 is on a distinguished road
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I'm sorry to hear you had to endure any of this, it is complex beyond words. I'd say it's unfortunate these things happen at all and I'd say "disappointing" is an understatement.

I'm doing the best I can, there is a grieving process that also includes wallowing in self-pity. I'm told it gets better, I will feel better. Again, hypothetical. However, I recognize I'm the one who has to take control of this.

Thanks for your comments.
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