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[frustratedwithex]

It will be 2 years this week for me.

My situation is much simpler than yours and so far I have spent twice what you have and I'm not done yet.

So good to see everything work out for you.

[CISTEAD]

Omg.......I could heat our house for a winter if I burned our paperwork.....ohhhhh.........dare to dream.........

[lumpy]

Congrats NBDad! I am thrilled for you and your kids!

Your posts always seem so calm and even keeled, even during the most horrendous situations. You sound like the kind of parent that every kid should have.

Cheers & enjoy the celebration & the peace! ... well ... relative peace with kids in the house!!!

[NBDad]

@lumpy:

I have *9* children in my household...there is very very little that is going to rattle me at this point

Work is always amazed by the fact I come in while sick or obviously hurting...they don't seem to understand...it's quieter here.

I'm glad it's done, though I expect future bullshit eventually, at least now I'll have a permanent order to fall back on. Worse case scenario, she tries to haul me back into court over something stupid, which means she'd have to either self rep (which she won't do) or hire a lawyer (which she'd have to get a job for, in which case the other clauses take effect and she'd owe CS)

[rwm1273]

9 kids. It must be a zoo at your house after school. I only have two kids, and we limit them to having only 2 friends over at a time, and that is sometimes too many.

[blinkandimgone]

Congrats NBdad!

[NBDad]

Well, almost 2 years (to the DAY at that) of the date she surrendered the children to me, new bullshit explodes.

She decided to withhold access this past weekend. ie. refused to return the children and laid new allegations of abuse. Mind you this is the second time in the last MONTH she's tried this crap. (Demanded 50-50 before Xmas, was told to go pound sand and 7 days later CPS shows up at my door step.)

The uniformed cop that was on scene decided to break proper protocol and unilaterally place them with their mother, and then LIE about it for 4 1/2 hours before FINALLY admitting it was his decision. He's now chewing on a formal complaint to the police commission.

CPS refused to get involved until they interviewed the children (jointly with the Family Protection Unit). This AFTER the head of that unit called the allegation a "red herring" and indicated they would NOT be getting involved.

Anyway, final outcome...no new info, rehash of same ol' same ol' kids returned back to me 2 days late.

Now prepping to drop another 5K on a lawyer to plug the holes in the existing order. Sometimes it never ends.

[Nadia]

Sorry to hear about your situation NB dad. I bet that police officer is wishing he'd made a different decision. I've had my share of rookie cops.

Court Orders most often then not have grey areas which can be exploited or mis-interperted by third parties. Unfortunately, it takes another walk or in some cases several to the court house (and more money) to address this. Hopefully, this return to the court and the necessary amendments will prevent any future re-occurances. Must have been awful for the kids.

My thoughts are with you and I hope all works out.

[NBDad]

Well, we're discussing with a lawyer now on whether we have sufficient evidence to meet the material change in circumstances check to plug the holes in the existing order.

Problem is that we have virtually no chance of reducing her access any further (she has far less than standard minimums now). There isn't much access there to cut back ON, so we're looking more towards possible enforcement clauses/etc. instead.

Lawyer also mentioned having the order amended with instructions for CPS, basically indicating any complaint made without corroborating evidence is NOT to interfere with my custody. (Been telling CPS this all along anyway, in my view, there's a HUGE difference between a complaint filed by a mandatory reporter (doctor, teacher, etc) vs. an anonymous phone call.)

Big issue with local law enforcement and CPS is

1. Unless they've dealt with her in the past, they fall for the "poor pregnant me / crocodile tears" act every time. Still FAR too much female-centric bias in this town.

2. Her access ends on a weekend. No one wants to get involved until Monday. They (being unfamiliar with past history) take the stance that it's just "one day, what's the big deal".

It's a VERY big deal. Order exists the way it does for a reason. Feeding her delusion has huge blow back potential. By allowing her to keep them even that one extra day, in her mind her actions are justified, and she ramps up her efforts. That of course then puts the kids in the middle again and in my opinion (and fortunately that of multiple professionals as well) they've been through quite enough.

CPS usually fixes things quickly (well, quickly in comparison to how fast they NORMALLY move), I imagine largely due to the history on file. If the poor kids weren't being affected, I'd almost be amused by the whole "hot potato" thing that occurs whenever a new complaint gets filed.

It literally goes from one person, to another, to another, to another, as they pass it along until it either gets to someone a) so new they don't know where to send it next or b) so specialized they CAN'T pass it off. It's a big game of "not it".

[May_May]

NBDad-Sorry you are going through this AGAIN ! Enough is enough...it's absolutely ridiculous. I think you are at an advantage because she's done this so many times so you are level headed and know exactly what to do, to stop it. Get all the holes filled...everytime another arises fill it !
Good luck
See what you can do about your legal costs being put onto her to pay due to the waste of time on everyones account.