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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-13-2010, 04:16 PM
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Most of the time I believe that "understanding" is highly overrated.

And then I think that the actions that boggle my mind actually are the actions that make me feel a little saner and support my opinion that some people really are just plain out of their minds.

It's really too bad for the kids though, cause they may never understand either.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-13-2010, 07:12 PM
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Good luck on the 15th.
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 09-13-2010, 08:36 PM
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Good luck on the 15th...mind if I play devil's advocate for a minute? Why, if the report stated supervised was in the children's best interest, are visits unsupervised? She can argue in court that you allowed it, therefore had no issues or concerns for the children's health or safety, and can be granted unsupervised access going forward...I assume you have no concerns?


(sorry to hijack, but this one I loved!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
She wants the Rockwell painting to show a really nice white picket fence. But she doesn't want to maintain it.
I know the feeling, teaching my stepdaughter to bike, swim, rollerblade, snowshoe, improve curriculum skills, etc so mom can brag about how active she is with her, how smart she is, and how terrific of a single mom she is...lol She actually would not even take her daughter biking until I taught her without training wheels!!
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:59 AM
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Quote:
Why, if the report stated supervised was in the children's best interest, are visits unsupervised? She can argue in court that you allowed it, therefore had no issues or concerns for the children's health or safety, and can be granted unsupervised access going forward...I assume you have no concerns?
Unsupervised currently because that is what the existing interim order and negotiated amendment state, and my lawyer advised me that withholding access would look a lot worse on me than allowing a 5 1/2 hour visit once/week out in the community until we could get back before the court.

This was the earliest we could get in for a motion...and we've made attempts to negotiate a settlement based on the new information go forward already. (to which we have received NO reply at all, from either HER or her lawyer)

We're not so much pushing for supervised access, as we are asking for the courts direction in how to properly integrate the report into the existing interim order. Given that she's unwilling to even discuss any kind of modification to the existing arrangement to try and keep to at least the spirit of the report we don't have much other option than to haul her back before the judge.

My fear is that if we allow things to continue unchecked, she's going to start pushing for overnight access...which I DO have an issue with. That would go against both the report AND the CPS (CAS to you Ontario peeps) recommendations that she be limited to short visits only.
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Old 09-14-2010, 10:28 AM
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If you have the recommedations from both agencies that overnights are not in the child's best interest (after conducting an custody/access investigation) I would not worry about it too much. Most judges will follow those recommendations.
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Old 09-14-2010, 06:38 PM
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Not per se unfortunately. The report only makes the recommendation of supervised since she never participated. She went ONCE, made some promises about paying for it...(never followed through) and then proceeded to drag it out for over a year.

CPS won't release her file to me without her consent...and good luck getting that. From reading between the lines, my kids were on the verge of being apprehended from her. They had multiple concerns, and were quick to close the file and get the hell out of dodge when they learned she'd surrendered them to me.

The assessor did speak to CPS and references that they indicated THEIR recommendation is for "short visits only".

We've asked for the release of her file (multiple) times, but the judge is hesitant to order it. Not that it would add much to this, the assessor's recommendations are typically integrated pretty completely except in cases where you get their findings questioned.

Her lawyer is going to have a bugger of a time arguing against the report and subsequent findings considering HE chose the assessor. (Yes, watching him question the legitimacy his OWN CHOSEN EXPERT should be a learning experience)

I fully expect the "poor me" card complete with the crocodile tears. Something about not being able to afford it. (Yet she works, and was couch surfing for like 3 months...so she had ZERO living expenses at the time, plus collected 3900 in fraudulent CCTB payments, that she now owes back, but still....)

Keep your fingers crossed for me guys, I'll update you all after the hearing
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 09-15-2010, 12:25 PM
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Well $800 down the tubes, not any real progress, but I'm no worse off by any means...

The judge ordered that the existing arrangements stand until the hearing in November.

She's still going on about wanting to complete the report. (Not holding my breath, this is only the 8th or 9th time she said this).

At least going to court eliminates the potential argument that we didn't do anything with the report. We made the court aware of the recommendations, asked for direction and were given it.

So I'm off the hook for potentially ignoring the recommendations and can make full use of the report come November. She still is limited to Sundays until her place of residence is cleared by my lawyer as per the existing order. (He asked her if he could go and inspect it...she told him no.)

LMAO...as he put it to her lawyer afterward "I'm going to show up when I feel like it, your client will have to accept that if she wants more time". Her lawyer verbally agreed with that statement.

All in all, I feel pretty good about how things are proceeding, the kids are happy and settled, and waiting until November firmly cements status quo in my corner. (9 straight months of stability)

Still up in the air as to whether we should send an offer to settle sometime in October...I'll have to schedule an appointment with the lawyer to see what he thinks the best route would be. (He REALLY doesn't want to go to trial, and I think we could probably get her to cave, especially if the report hasn't been completed)
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-15-2010, 12:29 PM
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Congrats...sounds like it is working in your favour It is soooo nice to hear one where dad isn't getting completely screwed over!

You made my day
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2010, 02:31 PM
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Well, it appears that the STBX is homeless again...received a phone call that she was spotted in another province (with her mother) this morning.

Got curious and checked ye old local classified...lo and behold, her apartment is listed as "for rent" now.

Told the lawyer, and he's pushing to offer settlement and put it to bed.
He wants to offer no child support in exchange for cementing the status quo (every second Sunday, suitability and additional access at my discretion).

He claims she's a hardship case, and due to being pregnant again, the court would favor such a claim. (TBH she hasn't worked steadily in almost a decade, keeps quitting or screwing around, so it's not like she's been contributing to the kids anyway)

I'm leery of allowing that, mainly because I think having arrears hanging over her head will cut down on the crap in the long run.

In any event, I've authorized the overpaid lawyer to draft a settlement offer....Stay tuned, I'll keep ya posted on any new developments.
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2010, 02:35 PM
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She has got to be insane! Well... good for you! Enjoy your weekend!
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