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Old 08-17-2010, 01:13 PM
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Hi,

I have been married for almost 25 years. My husband was having an affair for the pat 3 years. I discovered this relationship about 2 years ago, and since then have made myself emotionally vulnerable in making it clear to him I wanted to rebuild our relationship. I made significant efforts to change things about myself that we had agreed had contributed to the breakdown of our relationship; however, while he did return home a number of times during these 2 years, most recently for 9 months, he again contacted this other woman about 5 months ago, moved out and has now told me he is committed to building a relationship with her.

I struggle with loneliness, huge sadness and anxiety as well as a pretty beat up sene of myself. Any words of wisdom are very welcome!
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Old 08-17-2010, 02:45 PM
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Sorry to hear about your experience. However, the laws are basically no-fault divorce.

So, you won't be able to get anything simply because he's the one that cheated.

Everything depends on if there's children involved, and how gets custody. There is a spousal support advisory guideline, that you can look up. It explains when spousal support is given, and for how long.
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Old 08-17-2010, 03:19 PM
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Why do you assume it's about getting something??

SJP, I hope you find the support you're looking for, it's a difficult situation to be in for sure.
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:37 PM
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My situation is the same,, left husband 10 years ago,,,he cleaned out the house down to the last lightbulb, ran up credit cards,,,emptied bank accounts,,,so"
cancel all credit cards,,,change locks on doors,,,close all acccounts,,,your bank cna help you,,,,
but there is a light at the end of the rainbow, there is your sole mate waiting to be found,,,now the trick is to find him...good luck
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:49 PM
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Welcome to the forum.

No doubt Divorce can be difficult. Some communities offer individual counselling. Your physician may have information on these services if available.
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Old 08-19-2010, 11:02 AM
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Can anyone advise me on child support payments and how they may related to support for a 20 year old child just start university and living in residence in another city? I am hoping to be able to keep our family home until my youngest son is finished highschool (2-3 years) in order to provide some stability for all my children in this time of upheaval and immense change. My ex-partner doesn't think he should have to pay any support for our daughter while she is attending university, outside of the contributions we have made to her RESP, because she is living away from home much of the year. It will be difficult for me financially to maintain the family home myself without this support, but I recognize his concern that she is not actually living here most of the time; however, this is her home and I would like her to be able to come home for holidays and summers for a little while longer anyway, while she adjusts to all these other changes in her life. Please let me know your experience or just what you think. Thanks.
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Old 08-19-2010, 11:20 AM
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The law provides that c/s must be paid to the recipient so long as the child(ren) are residing with the recipient and in post secondary education (for at least their bachelors, possibly longer).

Because your daughter still reflects her permanent residence as your address, you are entitled to receive C/S from your ex to maintain the child(ren)s permanent residence.

Now I am not sure if your question solely relates to receiving c/s while your child is in college/univeristy, or if there is any stipulation that he is required to pay to maintain both c/s and the costs associated with living on/near campus.
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Old 08-19-2010, 12:30 PM
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Thank you for that information.

The only other funds that will be available to our daugher are RESP funds previously contributed by both of us, her own earnings and scholarships. For the time being, our home address will be her permanent address, and there will always be a place here for her to come home to. Should he still be paying child support for her?
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Old 08-19-2010, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sjp View Post
For the time being, our home address will be her permanent address, and there will always be a place here for her to come home to. Should he still be paying child support for her?
Short answer is yes he should be paying you support for the child.

However, it is not uncommon that the support be diverted directly to the child instead of the custodial parent, as it is payment is for the benefit of the child and should be used by the child to provide for themselves (I would personally prefer this, as it is the childs money at the end of the day IMO). But that is only if both parties can agree, otherwise support continues unchanged.
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Old 09-25-2010, 04:35 PM
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I have gone through an affair, and recommend seeking personal counselling, if only to get the anger, the betrayal of trust, the sadness, the shock and all of the other conflicting emotions out of your head to be discussed...if you are in the NCR, I can recommend a fantastic counsellor that helped me through!
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