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Old 08-03-2013, 08:27 AM
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Hello
Just wanted to say hello and say I have been lurking on this site for some time. I have noticed there are a lot of people here who have great information and experience that are willing to share.
I do have an upcoming situation that I will post shortly in another category.

Little background about my situation that is relevant. Separated in 2005 after 12 years of marriage. Divorced in 2006. D23, D18, D13 now and obviously in 2005 D5,D10,D15. Order was made 2006 and then portions of order went to full trial with final judgement in 2010. Not to mention every motion you can bring forward in between, before and after. I have some ridiculous stories (not so great at the time )

Ex had lawyer X 3 and I represented self through all court battles, full trial. Yes we have the paperwork roll in on the cart. Yes OCL X2,CAS, pyschologist X (can't remember how many), psychiatrists...

End results that are relevant today.
-Equalization complete
- No SS
- CS at the time for 3 (now 2 D23 is no longer child of marriage)
-Sole custody of 2
-Access; any that is requested
- S7 as specifically stated in order
The rest is only relevant in certain situations and will be specific when post about a particular issue.

Thanks and nice to meet you all!
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Old 08-03-2013, 09:06 AM
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Welcome to the community Reality! It sounds like you have a lot of experience and expertise yourself.
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Old 08-03-2013, 09:11 AM
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Welcome, Reality.

Kudos to you for self-representing. I tried self-repping when our issue was only about money. When it became about S15 (MUCH more important than money), I retained a lawyer.

I have recently filled out an intake form for OCL and am waiting to hear. How did you find OCL involvement?

You say access is not specified. How did you get this, and does it work out well?

It'll be great to have you to add your experience and perspective to the board!
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Old 08-03-2013, 11:24 AM
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No Kudos for me on self-representation! I learned very quickly that as long as you have the ability to be "real" objective to your own case; use your hard earned money to support the children not to support the fight. There isn't a lawyer out there that will take the time to fully understand every detail of your case no matter how much you pay them. It took me thousands of hours while working a full time job and running a part time business and raising 3 children and has taken its toll however wouldn't change it for anything.

OCL is great because it truly does give the children an objective voice that is heard by the judge with great weight. Do keep in mind OCL choose their cases not assigned. We went through OCL twice the first time great OCL then Ex claimed bias to the board because he didn't like the results and recommendations and board choose to not fight with Ex and assign another OCL that ex "agreed" to after review of creds etc..and OCL had to start all over from the beginning. If I could suggest anything about OCL have both parties review and agree to the OCL that takes the case prior to children starting the process. Get agreement in writing from both parties. Get agreement from both parties on the Social worker that will work with OCL as well in writing. These social workers do not have the credentials you would expect. (ex claimed bias on that too..had to restart with another). Try to protect the children from having to go through the process repetitively if possible. Just as an FYI - all OCL and social workers came up with the same results and recommendations in this case.

As far as access not specified I would have to start a new thread. Very long and interesting to me however not sure if to the rest of this forum.
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Old 08-03-2013, 12:19 PM
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Thanks for the OCL info, Reality.

Yes, PLEASE do start a thread about the access unspecified. I am going through this right now and would LOVE to hear what you went through and if its working. I do understand that things can be very different depending on the participants, but would still really appreciate any feedback you may have.
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Old 08-03-2013, 06:37 PM
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Refreshing to have a new poster on forum. I look forward to reading your posts and experiences in dealing with industry "shrinks." Welcome.
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Old 08-03-2013, 06:46 PM
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Welcome Reality

I also think you will be a valuable resource to the board if you have the time to field all the questions! LOL. It must have taken a lot of guts to self represent with such an incredible amount of issues going on. Kudos to you!
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