New to forum not to divorce!

[swimmingwithsharks2011]

Hello to anyone interested in reading this,

I'm very green to using forums. This is the 3rd time I've tried to post this intro! Aaaaagh!

7 years separated, divorce order finally signed (by the trial judge) just last month, 2.5 years after the trial. A long, tedious story of legal delay tactics by ex's lawyer. Have 2 beautiful kids (12 and 16), joint custody, primary residence with me.

Lived through the experience (short-lived) of trying to reach a friendly agreement with ex in first year of separation, without laywers for custody, access and financials settlement. I was a dreamer back then.

Lawyers enter picture, things get totally screwed up for the next 2 years. Drained me of all available cash and credit. Had to go to trial as a self-rep and did a spectacularily abyssmal job, and living the consequences of it now with the two kids. Didn't help that the judge was "a witch" according to my brief time with a top family law litigator, who I couldn't afford at the end.

Sure wish I knew about this forum back in 2008, it would have helped me a lot as I went to trial. I was like a "deer caught in the headlights" through the whole process.

Have learned a lot from the experience, a little late though. Perhaps what I have learned I can share in this forum to save even one person from the legal hell I have experienced which would give me some consolation.

Definately continuing to learn from all the posts I've read. Divorce is an ongoing process even after the papers are signed.

Cheers,

[ddol1]

well just as a little greener in the forum (my very first forum to boot!)) and definately greener at the divorce "game for my life" and judgiing from your words - I hope to gosh to be able to figure out how to break the system and just get the thing done before i die or have a permanent mental break down, loose my kids forever in the heat of battle. And yes the kids in my mind even at 18, 20 and still a young 22 are feeling first hand the tension (to put it mildly) that is thicker than molasses!

welcome and I am sure as you embrace all the site has to offer you will find that everyone here has a different story and the same book cover......