Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Introductions

Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 12-02-2015, 04:04 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 35
CanadianMohawk is on a distinguished road
Default

I should mention that I do pay both children's RESP's right now. I've also given her half the cost of the snowsuits she bought for them previously this year (after an argument about it where she told me at one point I'd have to buy my own snowsuits for them and I told her that it made zero sense). So I'm helping with as much as I can when I can.
Reply With Quote
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 12-02-2015, 04:10 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 35
CanadianMohawk is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PeacefulMoments View Post
Something else to consider is the cost of the daycare. If ex is currently paying full cost of daycare right now, depending on whether full time or part time, daycare for two kids can be right up there with a mortgage payment.

I believe that would be considered s7 and you would be responsible for your portion(in proportion to your incomes)

Just something to consider in relation to you paying all the house bills right now and her none, and her paying all daycare.

I think the sooner the house can be sold and equalization done, the better. Hopefully your ex can be convinced of that also, so that both of you can have a better grip on what your future finances will look like.
exactly.. lots of this leverages on selling the house and she is being difficult.

For daycare, she pays for D3. It's $800/mnth. As of Nov 1st, this is the only s7 expense that she has.

The mortgage and property taxes on the home are $1950. On a single income, this is extremely difficult to meet and stay afloat.

Sounds like I'll have a hard time with undue hardship for this period. Am I supposed to just put myself into debt and start paying her the offsetting CS and half of daycare now while she gets to sit pretty living free and sticking me with mortgage on a home she intends to take half the equity of?
Reply With Quote
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 12-02-2015, 06:33 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,961
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Undue hardship is an extremely difficult process and one that would take considerable time. Once you have a separation agreement your ex may register with FRO then you can enter into an voluntary arrangement for payment of C/S arrears. You can probably find information on the VAPs online under Family Responsibility office or if you are from another province under the Maintenance Enforcement Program. Many payors prefer to go through FRO/MEP and the option is for either party to register.

Selling a home will take time. This seems to be something that your ex has plenty of as, according to you, she's "flush" and has no pressing financial issues. There is plenty of information on this forum of the steps you have to take to get a court Order for sale of the matrimonial home.

Courts, or maintenance enforcement agencies, do not care about your reasons for not paying CS. Their position is that you have a responsibility and you must honor it. Child support is the right of the child. You may have to get a second job temporarily to make your payments until such time as the home is sold. Your ex's b/f's financial situation is not relevant (I understand it must be extremely distressing to you).

I would suggest that you gather your ex's belongings and put them carefully into boxes in your garage or a secured storage facility. Make sure you alert her of this so that insurance applies. Nowadays people get their bills online so there is often little proof of a change of address. For this reason I believe you should get an order for exclusive possession of the matrimonial home. With that order you should also have a provision to sell the home. You would probably have to do your homework and get some appraisals (yes it costs money to do this).

Others will chime in about how to get the house on the market. Your ex may not want to use a realtor but she may have little choice in the matter.

Just remember that in the eyes of the court the children come first, your mortgage and other financial responsibilities come second.
Reply With Quote
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 12-02-2015, 10:52 PM
Hand of Justice
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,143
Links17 is on a distinguished road
Default

In general, I would say pay nothing unless you are ordered to do so.
Reply With Quote
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 12-03-2015, 11:29 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 35
CanadianMohawk is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
In general, I would say pay nothing unless you are ordered to do so.

That's what I'm doing, at least until the house sells. I'm just second guessing if it can hurt my chances at all on getting the 50/50 order.

As for packing all her stuff into a box.. I'd rather just not rock the boat unless I absolutely have to. Other than the house, things are going how I want them with the kids right now. I don't want to send her over the edge so she does something irrational again. It's actually better for me trying to recoup half the housing costs if I can prove that even though she sleeps elsewhere, I do not have control or exclusive possession of the house and she technically still lives there since half of my residence is taken up by her stuff. ie-> Fat chance counter claiming occupation rent when I add months worth of mortgage payments into the NFP.
Reply With Quote
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 12-03-2015, 03:05 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

if you are not willing to get exclusive possession of the house then at least make sure that your important papers, valuables or things that have sentimental value to you are stored somewhere else. Nothing like coming home and seeing a family heirloom has been taken, or papers you need for court missing.
Reply With Quote
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 12-03-2015, 04:52 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 58
whyme? is on a distinguished road
Default

100% on this last point. Even after she moved out, my ex would routinely come into the mat. home when I was at work and just help herself to whatever she wanted. Nothing I could do until I had exclusive possession granted...other than remove things of mine that I didn't want to disappear.
Reply With Quote
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 12-03-2015, 08:00 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,961
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianMohawk View Post
That's what I'm doing, at least until the house sells. I'm just second guessing if it can hurt my chances at all on getting the 50/50 order.

As for packing all her stuff into a box.. I'd rather just not rock the boat unless I absolutely have to. Other than the house, things are going how I want them with the kids right now. I don't want to send her over the edge so she does something irrational again. It's actually better for me trying to recoup half the housing costs if I can prove that even though she sleeps elsewhere, I do not have control or exclusive possession of the house and she technically still lives there since half of my residence is taken up by her stuff. ie-> Fat chance counter claiming occupation rent when I add months worth of mortgage payments into the NFP.

You've only been separated for 1 month?

Then get a 2nd job and pay your bills. This is bound to be a long, drawn out process if you don't want to act for fear of your ex doing "something irrational."

Correct me if I'm wrong but the mortgage is in both of your names?

The two of you now have embarked on separate lives. You have 2 joint issues - children and home.

Does your ex work full-time? Is she capable of buying out your interest in the house? Perhaps she can, with bf/s assistance - or family member, qualify for a mortgage? If there is little equity then perhaps offer it to her and walk away and get your own place? Sticking around for less than 10k equity (your share) just doesn't make sense to me if you can't make the payments.
Reply With Quote
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 12-07-2015, 12:56 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 35
CanadianMohawk is on a distinguished road
Default

6 months separated Arabian. Yes, she works full time and makes about 10K less than I do. She says she is going to try to get Spousal from me as well. I told her good luck with that.

Yes, her name is on the mortgage. Neither of us make enough to be able to buy the other out. There is 30K in equity on the home, which after mortgage penalties and realtor fees amounts to very little if anything. Believe me that I wouldn't be sticking around if I didn't have to. The mortgage payments come out of my bank account and as I said before, paying all of that plus not also supporting the kids half the time leaves me with nothing to be able to give to for offsetting CS. I can pay all my bills and buy us food, but having to buy new/replacement clothing and be able to do stuff with the kids when I have them is putting me into overdraft. I HAVE to sell the house to be able to afford giving her CS payments. Alternatively, i could start paying her CS but then have nothing left to buy food and clothing for the kids when they're with me. Considering she took half their clothes and some other things when she "moved out" means I have some catching up to do in order to provide for them.

Getting a second job just so i can pay her CS seems dumb because then next year, the CS amount will just go up.
Reply With Quote
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2015, 12:14 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,474
dinkyface will become famous soon enough
Default

Perhaps talk to your mortgage lender and see if you can arrange a temporary haitus or reduction of payments (especially if you have made additional lumpsum payments in the past). Nothing to lose in trying!

This might be crazy talk, but with only 30K in equity - minus selling costs - split 50-50 - can you just walk away from it? Declare bankruptcy? Worth investigating what option would have a minimum hit on your credit rating.

Consider renting a room to a tenant? Great cashflow, but obviously need to choose the person carefully. But, it will increase your income for CS purposes, unless you know someone you would be willing to share you house with on a 'sharing expenses' basis (which would not be taxable).

But .. your CS payments would be minimal anyways, assuming offset payments, with her earning 10K less.

Last edited by dinkyface; 12-08-2015 at 12:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
She's asking for kids to call her but she lies/makes false police reports knackered Parenting Issues 5 07-31-2013 09:25 PM
Child Care receipts: seems like something isn't adding up RLS Financial Issues 48 04-09-2013 06:43 PM
Divorced Dad with Custody J_Kitchener2010 Introductions 1 09-27-2010 09:32 PM
Ex Wife wants the kids back J_Kitchener2010 Divorce & Family Law 23 09-27-2010 09:05 PM
Where to pcik the kids up... OB1 Divorce Support 5 07-25-2006 06:55 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:00 PM.