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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2017, 09:53 PM
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You are incredibly judgmental and derogatory - two traits which are not conducive to effective parenting IMO.

You and your bombastic lawyer (as undoubtedly accurately described by you) will surely continue to meet with no success in court with this attitude and demeanor.

Not impressive in the very least I must say.
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2017, 12:18 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
She is not available. But I am. and am willing, and eager. I do not support daycare, and really have nothing good to say about it or to talk about it with the child. Daycare doesn't get discussed at my house.
See my comments in this and another thread about the "court's", OCL and Section 30's possible opinion about daycare in a high conflict situation. What you believe or feel doesn't matter. You are not an expert nor can you represent your opinioned evidence as fact without one. So, good luck with that.


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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
I would agree to using child's before school program a couple times a week. Though child get's lots of socializing at school. No need for daycare to socialize.
If you get to a 2-2-3 or 2-2-5-5 access schedule then it would be a couple of times a week that the child would have to attend. But, good luck finding a reputable one that will take the child here and there.

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
You may argue daycare shields the child, but it doesn't. Just helps mom sanction my time, alienate child and bring child closer to mom. That's all. If child's access with me is extended passed the limits childcare subsidy allows, then daycare will be lost, so mom uses that to sanction my access.
I am just thinking outside the box here but, has your lawyer considered that the Child Care Subsidy requirements are a violation of the Ontario Human Rights Code? The code protects for "family situation" and you are a family living separate and apart. I suspect that the subsidy was created with only consideration of intact families and sole custody/majority access situations.

Parents have been very successful in arguing this in having bus service (school) for children in joint custody and equal access situations be split to accommodate their family situation with this argument. I posted the case law on this a few times on here.

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Where is case law where standard of perfection is not required.
In our system of jurisprudence... many times... Here is an example:

Quote:
[72] While some measure of communication and cooperation between the parties is necessary to support a joint custody order, the court is not required to apply a standard of perfection in assessing the ability of the parents to work together. As Quinn, J. remarked in Brook v. Brook, “the cooperation needed is workable, not blissful; adequate, not perfect.”[21]

Source: V.K. v. T. S., 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII), par. 72, http://canlii.ca/t/fn2r2#par72
Quinn, Chappel, Pazaratz, et all... have all talked about the fact that the court doesn't need to "apply a standard of perfection". This is a single example of the application of the rule against "perfection" being applied. There are many other examples. I just pulled the most commonly cited one which happens to be about communication. But, the principal of "workable, not blissful; adequate, not perfect" has been applied numerous times.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2017, 12:25 PM
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I will also point out the difficulty of finding a daycare for night shift workers. Especially an affordable one.

Until you have right of first refusal and/or shared parenting, your ex can take kid to anyone who will look after the child overnight. There may also be the argument that your time is the night time so mom will get her 50% the rest of the time.

This case is very much like screaming into the wind. Worry about arguing why you are a good father who should be considered for shared parenting rather than arguing why your ex is a bad mother/person/wife. Youre divorced. The court knows how you feel about your ex. Your focus should be on why you should have your child half the time—not why your ex shouldnt.
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2017, 12:36 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Lmao. Don't kill me. "well-structured governance"
Ok how about "actually has governance" or "better-structured governance". The reality is that the organizations provided have something. While the service you has does not... Well, it has an angry sole owner who doesn't like you.

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Yeah let's follow our mandates and pickup the phone and call the CAS on dad and rig up the child to say her dad was beating her with a belt, and deny the fact that the child fell down the stairs at daycare.
Any examples of this happening with the above organizations that I provided? In the private home daycare situation yes, this is a reality but, in a larger structured organization with governance... The probability of this happening is way lower. You are protected way better from this kind of nonsense with an actual organization of professionals...

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
And to not let him find out I wasn't even home and my son was looking after their kid. Meanwhile, let's accuse him of not feeding the kids properly and give him a stink eye everytime he comes by.
Again, you are citing an example from your personal experience with a home daycare provider and not a properly trained and governed organization like the examples provided.

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Rinky Dink is perfect term for the daycare that was unilaterally chosen for our child by mom. An angry person who hates me is bang on. Manage risk? Lmao. please stop with your humour.
Again, re-read my posting. How do the organizations that I provided as examples (Mini-Skool) relate to your personal experience. What I was suggesting is that you move to a daycare that is actually governed... has properly trained professionals and is accountable to a larger governing body of professionals and experts. (e.g. Mini-Skool, Salvation Army, etc...)

Read carefully what I wrote...

Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
They're usually a bunch of high school/college drop outs without any degrees, who could not get real jobs. Every seen those ads on kijiji for doggy daycare ?
I was not suggesting those... I was suggesting things like: Mini-Skool Canada | Day Care Centres Located in Ontario. Mini-Skool Childcare Centre.

Again, read my post carefully...

Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Daycares for lazy neglectful parents.
Some would argue that welfare and other social services are for lazy neglectful parents... I don't get your argument? Parents that work use them. Parents that don't work outside the home use them.

I take it you are an IT working making 80K+ per year working from home and that is why you are able to provide so much care to your child??

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Everyone I know , one parent adjusts their work schedule to look after the kids when the other is working.
Do you live in Timmins, Ontario? This is not how it works in any community south of Barrie, Ontario these days... Both parents are employed. Are you suggesting you are unemployed or have adjusted your work schedule and are that parent?

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Everyone normal I know anyways.
To quote Statistics Canada:

Quote:
In 2014, 69% of couple families with at least one child under 16 were dual-earner families, up from 36% in 1976. Among dual-earner families, almost three-quarters had two parents working full time in 2014.
https://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/75-006.../14202-eng.htm

Also statistically which parent are you?

Quote:
Stay-at-home mothers had lower levels of education, had more children under 16 and were younger than working mothers. Stay-at-home fathers had lower levels of education, had fewer children, and were older than their working counterparts.
The lower educated and older than the other parent one?

Quote:
Don't come across people too often who spend their monthly income on daycare. If they're rich and both have serious jobs and really can't look after the kids and don't have family or friends who can, then maybe so. Maybe 1 or 2 days a week. Not every damn day.
The statistics don't support your argument: Child care in Canada

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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Funny thing my lawyer had a case against that grumpy fat old daycare lady. Oh he has some really good stuff to say about that daycare. To me anyways. He can't really use his personal dealings with other people in his clients cases though, at least he knows what type of person I am dealing with.
But, your lawyer could bring forward a motion to have the daycare changed to a more reputable and accountable service provider. That is what I am saying to you. Why stick with a crappy one when you can bring forward a change that makes things better for the child? Why sit around complaining about it? Act on the opportunity to imrpove the child's situation!

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #35 (permalink)  
Old 11-01-2017, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
You are incredibly judgmental and derogatory - two traits which are not conducive to effective parenting IMO.
And doesn't generally serve someone well when they are under examination at trial. People always say they only do it here on this site... A good barrister is trained to get it out of the other party. Cross-examination is WAY HARDER than responding to these messages. People have time to react to these messages... when under examination you don't have time to think, ponder and craft a response.
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  #36 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 12:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
You are incredibly judgmental and derogatory - two traits which are not conducive to effective parenting IMO.
It seems to me you are rather the judgemental and derogatory parent here, which to your own definition, isn't conducive to you being an effective parent. You consistently judge me on my posts and make derogatory comments. Wasn't too long ago when you used the word "tarded" to refer to my post and accused me of wanting more time just to reduce child support. Would love to hear 1 or two positive things you have to say about me, or wait, you have none. That's right, you're obviously biased. Last time I checked you were not physiological assessor. To say I "am" incredibly judgemental and derogatory is just your opinion on me - not a fact. You're in no qualified position to determine my personality traits and just rather biased and consistently making judgmental and derogatory responses to me. Don't recall the last time you had something positive to say about me.

Quote:
You and your bombastic lawyer (as undoubtedly accurately described by you) will surely continue to meet with no success in court with this attitude and demeanor.
incredibly judgmental and derogatory you are - yes. My lawyer is fantastic. All the judges love him. Has been representing me extremely well and has solved a lot of problems for me with his expertise. We have been very successful in court actually. Last time we were in court Judge was yelling at mom's bombastic lawyer.

What amazes me is that you are so sure that I have had no success in court as if you were there every time I attended court. Incredibly judgmental you are indeed.

Quote:
Not impressive in the very least I must say.
Dont' think you realize that my thoughts and comments and jokes I share with friends are not what goes in the affidavits. I'm sure a lot of jokes and comments and things you say about your ex don't go in court documents either. judgmental and derogatory you are indeed.

I'm an excellent parent and the best my child has and will ever have
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  #37 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 12:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
when under examination you don't have time to think, ponder and craft a response.
I'm actually very good at interviews and have been questioned by judges directly. My lawyer has consistently been impressed by my answers and ability to pause to provide an answer.

I communicate with people regularly at work and participate in conference calls and meetings with very intelligent people. These people regularly have questions for me that I answer extremely well. I'm rather very successful in my career and my communication skills have consistency been ranked exceeding expectations. Let's just say I'm not one of those peoples just answers to give an answer. I give my self time to understand the question and what answer they are looking for before I answer. If I don't understand, then I let them know that I do not understand the question. I will take as long as I need to answer a question and provide the best possible answer I can think of. I'm a quick to think on my feet too.

These condescending posts Arabian is making at me are just her way of standing up for the daycare I do not like just because she is a woman. Arabian hates it when I talk bad about women. I do love women and there are MANY that I respect. Just like all things in life, there is good and there is bad.
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  #38 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2017, 01:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Ok how about "actually has governance" or "better-structured governance". The reality is that the organizations provided have something. While the service you has does not... Well, it has an angry sole owner who doesn't like you.
Subsidized daycare is governized. I guess it just has a very special owner.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Any examples of this happening with the above organizations that I provided? In the private home daycare situation yes, this is a reality but, in a larger structured organization with governance... The probability of this happening is way lower. You are protected way better from this kind of nonsense with an actual organization of professionals...
Subsidized daycare isn't private. It has structures and governance. But you are right, it is at home and isn't a large organization with real professionals - based on my own personal experience with it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Again, you are citing an example from your personal experience with a home daycare provider and not a properly trained and governed organization like the examples provided.
Subsidized daycare is governed by Ontario government - by the city.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Again, re-read my posting. How do the organizations that I provided as examples (Mini-Skool) relate to your personal experience. What I was suggesting is that you move to a daycare that is actually governed... has properly trained professionals and is accountable to a larger governing body of professionals and experts. (e.g. Mini-Skool, Salvation Army, etc...)
I get completely what you are saying. I am in agreement of child's before school care provided AT THE SCHOOL (couple times a week when necessary). They h ave after school care at the school too. Much cheaper and better. Wouldn't you say so ? But isn't subsidized daycare supposed to be governed ?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I was not suggesting those... I was suggesting things like: Mini-Skool Canada | Day Care Centres Located in Ontario. Mini-Skool Childcare Centre.

Again, read my post carefully...
Thanks.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Some would argue that welfare and other social services are for lazy neglectful parents... I don't get your argument? Parents that work use them. Parents that don't work outside the home use them.
What I meant was I feel some parents don't really give two craps about raising their kids and just toss them in daycare, and go to work. While there are many who one of the parents stays home to look after the kids, or alters their schedule to look after them when the other parent is working.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I take it you are an IT working making 80K+ per year working from home and that is why you are able to provide so much care to your child??
I do make good money and I can and do usually work from home.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Do you live in Timmins, Ontario? This is not how it works in any community south of Barrie, Ontario these days... Both parents are employed. Are you suggesting you are unemployed or have adjusted your work schedule and are that parent?
You are right, both parents do work, and that is why shared custody makes more sense .
Quote:
There is no issue that the children’s time with both parents should be maximized as much as possible: see s. 16(10) of the Divorce Act. It is also true that shared custody is becoming increasingly frequent, especially in light of the fact that in today’s world both parents often work and equally share care of the children.
http://canlii.ca/t/gk996

I do indeed have a family oriented work .

To quote Statistics Canada:



https://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/75-006.../14202-eng.htm

Also statistically which parent are you?

That site is down atm. Each family law case turns into it's own facts. If majority of people in Ontario leased a car does that mean that we should all lease cars ?

I am the parent who has a work-life balance that allows me to look after (and spend time) with our child when she is not in school.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
The lower educated and older than the other parent one?
I have 5 years of education over the other parent.


The statistics don't support your argument: Child care in Canada

Can't read that link, SO I can't comment on that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
But, your lawyer could bring forward a motion to have the daycare changed to a more reputable and accountable service provider. That is what I am saying to you. Why stick with a crappy one when you can bring forward a change that makes things better for the child? Why sit around complaining about it? Act on the opportunity to imrpove the child's situation!
Because the court isn't going to entertain it at this time. OCL is investigating. But we will see if we need to cross motion against mom's $20/month daycare cross motion to get right of first refusal - or leave it as a trial issue - and look into using school before program then.

Lastly (and most importantly), mom isn't even working when child is at daycare. We don't need daycare. It was not discussed or agreed to, creates unnecessary costs, and places restrictions on my access which interfere with my relationship with our child. i.e., If I get half the summer, then child care subsidy is in jeopardy and possibly terminated. Mom uses that to limit my access (and my relationship) with our child. Daycare is not needed, period.

Sorry I am not a follower. There are many intelligent people I know who at least one of the partners has work arrangements that allows them to look after their kids. I'm not one of those people who get's a the new Gas rewards credit card because 70% of Canadians have it, or leases a car because 80% of Canadians do it, or drinks beer because many Canadian's do it , or use daycare because whatever the percentage of Canadians that do it do.

If you see somebody jumping off a bridge, do you go do exactly what they did too ?

Last edited by trinton; 11-05-2017 at 01:32 AM.
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