My god I need help

[Tim Cash]

Now for another question...Is shared custody a common thing now a days I have heard it is? Will I run into resistance from the courts or is this something her and I can agree to without going to court. I will have a very difficult time paying a lawyer ....dont much like them. Not all but lets face it there is many who just want your money and dont care what the outcome is.

[dadtotheend]

You're fooling yourself.

[Tim Cash]

What do you mean????

[dadtotheend]

Your in wild mood swings and appear to have taken none of the good advice you have received truly to heart.

[Tim Cash]

I think I get what you setting down here ....are we talking about the house?

[Tim Cash]

she feels this house is her's , and I will not see peace until it is. If you think I am loosing a bargaining chip...then Im listening...

[tugofwar]

Im not sure why you decided to write that letter??? You needed to pull yourself out of the situation and give a break, gather your thoughts and feelings. I think you are still holding on to this abusive relationship in hopes that it will work out. You seem still so sincere towards her and this abuse will continue because you are allowing it.
You really need to watch what you promise her as well. Keep it simple and don't go into that much detail. You should have just said we need to figure things out and we should think about what we really want and go from there.
I really don't think you were reading anything of importance lastnight.
No one wants to go to court, no one wants to waste their money on a lawyer but you never know--- what if she gets one?

You need to do your research, collect information first. Don't make any promises right now unless you promise to be there for the kids.
Seriously, pull yourself out of this for awhile. Ask questions, read posts, etc.

[Mess]

Tim, I'll post it again, read Surviving your Divorce, it is a very plain english guide to the whole process by a senior divorce lawyer in Ontario, every chapter applies to you. It is as good as a two hour consultation with a divorce lawyer and only costs about 4% of the price.

You need to know what the issues are, what your rights are, what the process is.

You can settle between you, or you can go to mediation, but you need to know what your rights are. We can tell you a lot but we can't cover everything. Read, and then decide if you want to go the lawyer route or not.

Don't make any offers or promises or deals until you know what you are doing. You are like someone who doesn't know a thing about mechanics trying to take a car apart and then rebuild it into two working machines. Don't try it by yourself, read the manual.

In the meantime, if you do nothing else make sure you have your child stay with you at least 50% of the time. If your ex starts out with full custody, she will keep full custody and there won't be a thing you can do about it if the status quo has been that your child has been with your ex 100% of the time for months.

Anything else can wait until you become informed. But keep your child living with you.

[Tim Cash]

Thank you very much Mess I will do that. But what if she says no?

[Tim Cash]

better yet what would they consider 50% we both work and the kids are in day care ...so does the day care time count as time with her ?