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Old 05-06-2011, 10:50 AM
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Hello everyone,

When my ex and I split up after 9 years. I was feeling pretty upset about it because it was by my choice. So let’s say that I was really not up to fighting the fight as much as she was. We decided to go to mediation ($7000) to hammer out the separation agreement. This was going well until the topic of spousal support came up.

My ex-wife runs a home daycare and has since my son was born. We have 2 kids 9 and 5. Therefore is considered self employed. The problem was that she had not done her 2009 business taxes, so we ended up finally using her 2008 taxes to determine about spousal support. Well in 2008 we lived in the country were her daycare suffered due to lack of children. In 2009 we were in the city and it was always a full house.

So instead of using her salary at the $36,000 she made in 2009 we used the $16,000 that she made in 2008. After a lot of protesting on my part the mediator told me not to worry that the spousal support would go down the following year as we would just use the previous years T4/business tax statement to revisit the spousal support and always be a year behind.

My problem is when we sat down the next year and she used her earnings from 2009 which is what we should have used during our mediation, the computer that calculates spousal support stated that she should get $0 a month. I think had she shown up with her 2009 earnings for mediation, I would not be on the bill for spousal support for 7 to 15 years. In fact spousal support probably would have been out of the question.

Her salary 34,000 (net) + 10,464 (CS) + 3600 (SS) + 5292 (gov’t credits/breaks) = $53,356.00 (net give or take 2k)

My Salary 58,000- 18,000 (taxes) – 14,064 (CS & SS) – 792.00 (college fund) – 828.00 (mandated life insurance) = $24,316.00 (net give or take 1k)

Also
the mediator asked me to get a sample layoff package from my employer stating what they would have offered me had they laid me off the day I left the house. I was then told by the mediator that that layoff sample is a marital asset and that I had to pay her half of this non-existent money. Has anyone else encountered this?

So my question is this. Should I take our agreement and throw it out and take my chances with a judge in family court? Do you think the judge would see through all the mess and realize that she in fact used a much lower salary from 2008 for negotiation purposes and that she has no intentions of changing her situation and is very content running the daycare?

Thanks for reading this post and look forward to your answers.
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Old 05-06-2011, 11:55 AM
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I'm no lawyer or dont have a legal background, but If i were in your position I would definately goto trial. And ask the judge to imput her income to $36,000 because it is not your fault she did not file her taxes on time.
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Old 05-06-2011, 02:50 PM
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"I was then told by the mediator that that layoff sample is a marital asset and that I had to pay her half of this non-existent money."

Just like her life insurance. She needs to pay out half of that money to you she would have received if she died on the day of your separation.

That mediator is playing what most of the lawyers: just creating conflict by having the parties coming up ridiculous claims so they need to use a dirtbag longer and they could siphon them longer.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:06 PM
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I thought it was completly rediculous. When the mediator mentioned about owing her half I laughed and said I would quit my job, leave the country and she would never see a dime from me again.

I ended up caving a little. I gave her an additional $3,000 as hush money and the balance payable if and when I ever get layed off.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
Also the mediator asked me to get a sample layoff package from my employer stating what they would have offered me had they laid me off the day I left the house. I was then told by the mediator that that layoff sample is a marital asset and that I had to pay her half of this non-existent money. Has anyone else encountered this?

I have never heard of such a provision. It is a rediculous notion at that. To believe that she should be entitled to an amount equal of a non-existant scenario is stupid. Yes, I can see pension, because it is an amount which has a dollar value and retirement is a reasonable expectation. But the idea that she should be entitled to what amounts to a probability is assinine.

I mean, ok lets assume your ex regularly plays lotto 649. Should she have to pre-pay you an amount equal to the amount she may win if she lands a jackpot? I don't think so.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:14 PM
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Hey your preaching to the choir here. But according to the mediator, the sample layoff is technically considered to be a marital asset. I have not officially looked into it as I only paid her $3,000 of it to get her to back off.

Afterall we are talking about my ex that on top of the child support and spousal support asked the mediator for $120.00 a month additional for dog support.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
Hey your preaching to the choir here. But according to the mediator, the sample layoff is technically considered to be a marital asset. I have not officially looked into it as I only paid her $3,000 of it to get her to back off.

Afterall we are talking about my ex that on top of the child support and spousal support asked the mediator for $120.00 a month additional for dog support.

Common. dog support? You kidding right ?
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:23 PM
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I wish I was. One thing you need to know is her father was also coaching her during our seperation and he was a president of a large union in the city. So you can imagine his demands.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
I wish I was. One thing you need to know is her father was also coaching her during our seperation and he was a president of a large union in the city. So you can imagine his demands.
I can. At least now we know where laid of package demand come from )))
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:33 PM
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Does anyone know if my spousal support payment can go up if I got a promotion 2 years after we seperated? I know she is entitled to get an increase for child support. But I wonder about spousal support 2 years down the road?
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