Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Introductions

Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 07:10 PM
natty2013's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 34
natty2013 is on a distinguished road
Default introducing....

.... Hi everyone,

My wife and are in the process of divorcing after a six year marriage, with amicable intents, two young children. She was a stay-at-home mom while I worked full time (except for some periods of extreme stress during the near-end of our marriage). We are trying to avoid losing everything in a divorce through lawyers, so we are going to try mediation. We're in agreement that we want to do what's best for the kids and I've already offered significant spousal support and table amounts of child support beginning in the fall (currently I'm transferring over my entire pay every 2 weeks just to pay the bills for her while we still have the house - she is living there with our 2 children). Wish us luck!

nat
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 07:21 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,963
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

One of the first things you would be required to do if you both had lawyers would be for both of you to prepare a budget. Divorce isn't fun and usually both parties have to adjust their standards of living.

I think you are very smart to sign on to this forum. Familiarize yourself with the 'search' function and you will find there is plenty of information for you to access.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 07:38 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,414
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by natty2013 View Post
(currently I'm transferring over my entire pay every 2 weeks just to pay the bills for her while we still have the house - she is living there with our 2 children). Wish us luck!

nat
Move back into the house- tomorrow. Understand, your children need you to be an equal parent. You will be relegated to EOW if you don't move back in and continue to parent your children.

If you are both intent on remaining amicable and coparenting, she should have no issues with you returning to the home, in a separate living space, in order to reserve your mutual funds until financial separation is complete.

eta; oops -- and welcome!

Last edited by mcdreamy; 05-19-2014 at 07:43 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 07:47 PM
natty2013's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 34
natty2013 is on a distinguished road
Default

I see my kids three times a week at least, and all day every Saturday. I still bathe them and put them to bed on those days, and we also tend to have fairly regular meals together as well.

Based on our situation, leaving the home was the only option... we do well for the sake of the kids, but there is no way we'll be living under the same roof again (we were both falling apart that way).
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 08:18 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,838
stripes is on a distinguished road
Default

At the very least, get a written agreement signed by you and your soon-to-be ex stating that both parents intend to share parenting on a 50/50 basis. Get it notarized. These forums are full of people who moved out during the amicable phase of a divorce only to find that as things became less amicable, the party who stayed in the home claimed to be the "primary parent" and the party who moved out had to fight for equal parenting. If you and your STBX are truly on good terms, she won't have any issues with writing up an agreement stipulating shared parenting going forwards. And find yourself a living situation where you can have your kids stay overnight ASAP.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 08:21 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,414
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road
Default

With all respect, your children and your future with them should be your priority. Are you prepared to have the SAHP govern their growth as they mature and dictate your access? That is the road you are on.

Dump the girlfriend/boyfriend short term and focus on parenting your children long term.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 08:30 PM
natty2013's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 34
natty2013 is on a distinguished road
Default

What is STBX and SAHP?
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 08:36 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

soon to be ex and stay at home parent
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 09:17 PM
natty2013's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 34
natty2013 is on a distinguished road
Default

Thank you all for the suggestions and greetings.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2014, 10:14 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Welcome Natty!
I agree with all the above comments - basically you are not doing yourself a favor by leaving the matrimonial home. Do some research on "status quo" and how it pertains to family law.
You have the right idea with keeping the lawyers out of it and going for mediation. Hopefully things will not deteriorate and you and your soon to be ex (STBX) will have a cordial split. Spend as much time as possible with your kidletts and if it can be arranged, share the house (spare room) with your spouse ... until you have a signed separation agreement.

Good luck to you.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Introducing evidence bringeron Divorce & Family Law 9 02-05-2014 04:36 PM
Introducing CAS evidence - very confused Serene Divorce & Family Law 6 12-05-2013 02:27 PM
Introducing a new partner to young kids SingingDad Divorce & Family Law 21 07-16-2012 10:40 AM
Introducing Boyfriend to Kids - Some Advise Please stressedmama Parenting Issues 31 03-17-2012 09:49 PM
Ex keeps introducing kids to new girlfriends ipodtouch Parenting Issues 16 08-25-2009 10:30 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:33 PM.