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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 08:19 PM
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Tayken,
Don't take it this badly. Autism is terrible, Asperger's is a kind of autism which usually has a blessing component. My daughter was just diagnosed with Asperger's, and I can't see much tragedy in it. Probably I would be diagnosed with it too, and the "brilliant as*hole" is quite a fitting adjective. No, it is not the best thing, but seeing the "average" people around me I'm glad that I'm not like they are.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2013, 07:38 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
Tayken,
Don't take it this badly. Autism is terrible, Asperger's is a kind of autism which usually has a blessing component. My daughter was just diagnosed with Asperger's, and I can't see much tragedy in it. Probably I would be diagnosed with it too, and the "brilliant as*hole" is quite a fitting adjective. No, it is not the best thing, but seeing the "average" people around me I'm glad that I'm not like they are.
how insulting to the everyday type of person like most on this board. I am of the firm belief that everyone is good at something. It could be science, woodworking or whatever.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2013, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
how insulting to the everyday type of person like most on this board. I am of the firm belief that everyone is good at something. It could be science, woodworking or whatever.
People who are truly gifted (without being on the spectrum) often have a difficult time with every day life too. They have such a hard time fitting in and understanding "average". Not saying he is gifted, just saying it is hard for some to see how their views might impact on others.

By his own admission, he has trouble with the norms of society, likely he didn't realize how this would sound.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2013, 12:40 PM
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Taken, get a grip, you take life very seriously. I truly didn't mean offence or disrespect, just to lighten the atmosphere. A person does not need to be on the 'spectrum' to be an a-hole. My ex is an ex for reason and it has nothing to do with Aspergers.


Taken on the world - I don't believe that my ex believes that we will ever get back together, his reasoning for giving me support is so that I will not 'go after him' for support later on when he is making more money. I have told him I won't but he insists, and wants to cover his ass. This is his logical reasoning not mine.

I do think it is advantages for me not to settle the house issue now, but I don't see it as being disadvantage to him. And I have tried to look at it from both sides.

I believe it would cost us both to break the mortgage and deal with the lawyers to get him off the deed. The numbers I gave to Mess indicate we are talking about $3750 for his share of the equity. It would cost much more than that to break the mortgage and change the deed. Ex has no problem waiting till the mortgage is due.

I would like to thank everyone for their input (except Taken, sorry man/woman you were not helpful, just spoiling for a flame war) my ex is ok with things the way they are and I think we have a good working relationship. The kids are doing fine. Maybe I take advantage of the ex and maybe he takes advantage of me. Remember the open access to the kids and doing his laundry at my house, did I mention that I let him have my car when he needs one ( no I didn't steal his car, he doesn't want one and would rent one when he needs to go out of town. I say take mine, it's so expensive to rent one) So I will let life unfold and continue to lurk and learn.

Peace0ut 47


.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2013, 02:29 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
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Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
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Originally Posted by Peace0ut47 View Post
My problem with this is that I have been paying the mortgage and all the bills and upkeep? Would he still get half the equity? .
Your description of your equity makes no sense. You MUST have made a down payment, so if the house was bought for $208k, you started with at least $20,000 equity, the minimum required by CMHCC. After 5 years of paying the mortgage, you have built up more equity in the home. I have no idea what your amortization was, but it is certainly more than $0, probably around $20,000 if you had a 4.9% interest rate and a 25 year amortization.

You are looking at around $47,000 equity, including your estimate of increased value. If it is less than that, you are legally responsible for showing why. This is the value as of separation date. This is the amount that goes on your NFP for equalization.

For the period since he moved out, there would be a further calculation. You have been living rent free, you owe him half of market rent on such a home in that neighbourhood. From this rent, you deduct half of the mortgage cost, insurance, and taxes.

Utilities are being consumed by you, they are not included in the rental of a detached house. General maintainence is debatable; you can't charge for mowing the lawn or mopping the floors. Basic physical repairs shouldn't total more than a few dollars a month. Major capital repairs should be detailed and receipts provided.

Your description of adding a bedroom etc. is unclear; did this happen after the separation? You are still going by the appraised value on separation date. It is very rare that a renovation adds the exact amount to a home's appraised value; renovations rarely pay back what they cost. This was an investment by you for your benefit, but it will not affect the equalization payment in most instances.

Look, basically your numbers are very vague, but on the surface you owe him $23,500, or else you need to provide a proper accountng of why not.
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