Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Introductions

Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 11:47 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,486
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peace0ut47 View Post
When our oldest was 12 she was diagnosed with Aspergerís and we self-diagnosed the ex.
No one caught this titbit of nonsense? It is not possible to "self diagnose" anything. This is quite a wonky statement for anyone to be making. In fact, rather insulting. The diagnosis of autism on any spectrum is complex to say the least. To allege "we self-diagnosed the ex" is really an insult to the professionals, parents and patients whom are properly diagnosed with a autism spectrum disorder.

What other medical condition are you going to self-diagnose the other parent with?

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 12:29 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,800
Pursuinghappiness will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
What other medical condition are you going to self-diagnose the other parent with?
lol Tayken. I self-diagnose my ex all the time. He's got an acuse case of DBag Syndrome, Stage 5.
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 01:23 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 7
Peace0ut47 is on a distinguished road
Default

Taken, when our daughter was diagnosed the psychologist that diagnosed her ask me and the ex if he had been diagnosed yet as he was displaying a lot of behaviors as well. Ex never did go for an professional diagnoses. That's why I said self diagnoses, he did do a few online test which indicated Asperger's but perhaps he does not have Asperger's. He believes he does though.


Mess, that's why I am here, I don't want to take advantage and it feels that way. But what are the rules on the marital home. In our unsigned agreement I am taking over the house and he will gat nothing. We lived in the house 1 1/2 months before we split up. He did live in the basement for a year but there was no increase in equity in that time. I intend to give him back his half of the initial down payment but in reality after paying real-estate fees there would be little left over. He would be responsible for half of real estate and legal fees. What are your thoughts, and I know you will give me a reality check if I am in need
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 01:34 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,486
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peace0ut47 View Post
Taken, when our daughter was diagnosed the psychologist that diagnosed her ask me and the ex if he had been diagnosed yet as he was displaying a lot of behaviors as well. Ex never did go for an professional diagnoses. That's why I said self diagnoses, he did do a few online test which indicated Asperger's but perhaps he does not have Asperger's. He believes he does though.
Internet test... YARG!

I truly hope you see why you can't "self-diagnose" a medical condition such as an autism spectrum disorder... With an on-line test...
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 01:53 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 7
Peace0ut47 is on a distinguished road
Default

Taken, I agree, We went through a lot getting our daughter diagnoses and I appreciate all the help she has gotten form the many professionals we have seen. I guess the term self diagnosed is what is getting you. I should say ex possible has Asperger's and displays a lot of Asperger's tendencies. Or I could just self diagnose him as an brilliant a**hole with poor social skills I think possibly has Asperger's sound nicer.
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 02:01 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Peaceout, I am not clear what you are asking.

In family law, the marital home is shared 50/50 and you owe him 1/2 of the equity in the home, minus the outstanding mortgage. That is, if the home is now worth $300,000 and you have a mortgage of $290,000, then you owe him 1/2 of $10,000 = $5,000 in order to buy him out. Please enter the appropriate numbers.

If you were not married and this was strictly a civil matter of sharing an investment, then the same idea applies. You each invested in the property and agreed at the time that you would have an equal share. An equal share means an equal share. He owns half of the house, now and in the future, until you buy his share.

Pay him half of the equity, or stop kidding yourself that you are ethical.
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 03:38 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 7
Peace0ut47 is on a distinguished road
Default

Hi Mess,

Bought house in 2010 for $208,000 I think I could get $215,000 for it now. I had a real estate appraiser evaluate the house in March 2012 for 210,000 and a real estate agent told me to list it at 219 and hope to get 214.

So you are saying that I should just give him $3,750 and that's that. Can I just get a lawyer to take his name off the deed? Mortgage is in both our names.


My problem with this is that I have been paying the mortgage and all the bills and upkeep? Would he still get half the equity? I paid a contractor to put in a new bedroom in the basement and I put in new flooring in the family room and new bedroom, and painted 3 of the bedrooms. ( Maybe I can get more than $215,0000 it was appraised after the new bedroom was built)

Sorry my thought are all over the place and it is showing in my writing.

I do want to be fair, I have been avoiding this issue because I get a headache thinking about it. My Ex says not to worry he will sign everything over to me when the mortgage is due.
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 03:55 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 505
takeontheworld has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Do you really not see that you are taking advantage of your ex? Or just closing your eyes to the fact? He is being as easy as he is, because he believes you will get back together. Either way, its wrong and not something I'd feel very good about if it was me.
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 05:50 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,486
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peace0ut47 View Post
Taken, I agree, We went through a lot getting our daughter diagnoses and I appreciate all the help she has gotten form the many professionals we have seen. I guess the term self diagnosed is what is getting you. I should say ex possible has Asperger's and displays a lot of Asperger's tendencies. Or I could just self diagnose him as an brilliant a**hole with poor social skills I think possibly has Asperger's sound nicer.
Honestly, this is possibly the most offensive thing in my history of contributing to this site I have ever read posted here. Autism and autism spectrum disorders are a recognized disability. To make such a generalization as emphasized above is rude and insulting to those who struggle with the disorder every day.

There is NO evidence based medicine that people diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder are "a**holes with poor social skills". I feel sorry for your child whom you allege has been diagnosed with a form of autism if this is the opinion, even if said in an attempt to be "funny", you have of autistic people.

Personally, I did not find this funny nor do I think professionals whom work with people whom have a diagnosed autism spectrum disorder, have a diagnosis or the parents of these children.

It is this kind of stereotyping that prevents many people from getting the necessary help needed in managing their disorders. Autism in no way shape or form makes someone an "a**hole" or "brilliant". Nor is this even an element for consideration in the diagnosis of any of the disorders on the spectrum.

Your leveraging of the common stereotypes in this manner regarding autism is tasteless.

Stereotypes of autism

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 08-16-2013 at 05:53 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 08-16-2013, 05:59 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,139
SadAndTired is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Honestly, this is possibly the most offensive thing in my history of contributing to this site I have ever read posted here.

Blah blah blah.....

Your leveraging of the common stereotypes in this manner regarding autism is tasteless.

Stereotypes of autism

Good Luck!
Tayken
Really? That is what you got out of her post?

Because I never thought she was attributing the same characteristics at all.

I read it as clearly two different things entirely. He has these issues he is struggling with and could be on the spectrum.

And her opinion, she would say he is a brilliant asshole, with poor social skills.

How you linked those two separate things up is beyond me but perhaps others on this board will share your observations/opinions.

Last edited by SadAndTired; 08-16-2013 at 06:01 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:18 AM.