I'm New..Feeling Used! Hello 2 U All!

[NotSoPretty]

I have a situation not sure where to start to protect
myself or my posessions as I have just found out the
man I have been with for 15 years is not legally divorce,
only separated for 20 yrs! Since he is not divorce he certainly
can't be in a common law relationship.. he has no separation papers -nor marriage certificate = he is about to retire so I am finding out I have no rights to anything = we are living together in a home we purchased together, we have no kids together - i have one 23 and he has one 30
i need to protect myself at this point but not sure where to start!

[kamkatie]

Rest easy on this point: you don't need to be divorced in order to enter into a common law relationship. If he and the ex have lived apart for the past twenty years then they're separated, whether he has paperwork to state that or not. How did he file on his yearly income tax returns?

[NotSoPretty]

I think! you are the first to say relax...I was advised that since he was not legally divorced then he cannot enter a commonlaw relationship... now the biggie - this is my doing then! I have been doing our taxes-and I have been doing them separately! Dumb and not the correct move on my part but it was just that we always had our own finances = everything paid 50/50..feeling pretty dumb now! could I contact revenue Canada and explain this or how do I explain if I claim common law this year and indicate how many years prior we resided together? With that being said and he is set to retiree - the spousal waiver- do I have a legal right then to sign the waiver? It is not finances I am looking for - my concern would be say if he passes away with no will, I don't have much legal rights at this point but could his estranged spouse come in and claim say death benefits or even his son how would it be determine what I own here in our home, or would the ex spouse be entitled to his pension?
dumb and feeling dumber!

[standing on the sidelines]

first piece of advice, get him to make a will. So you were not claiming common law on your taxes? I would be upfront with Revenue Canada especially if you are finally claiming common law after living together for x amount of years.

Get him to make sure that you are benificiary on all life insurance policies and all other financial matters. Sometimes people forget to do that and the old spouse or partner is still on there.

Is the house in both names? As for the contents I am sure that there is some stuff there that would have sentimental value to the son so I am sure that you would let him have it. Other then that make a list of stuff and decide now what will be given to the son and kept by you and make it part of the will.