I'm the cliche - in need of some advice

[City Mom]

Hi - I'm new to the site. Great to see I'm not alone. I'm so upset and confused and could really use some help.

I'm currently separated from my husband for about 10 months now. We've been together for 10 years - 2 years long distance, 5 years living together overseas, then he proposed and we've been married 4 years and have a 3 yr old daughter.

When my husband proposed, he promised we would move back to Canada within the year, but several months later, he accepted another 2 year position overseas. At this point, my daughter was several months old and I was dispondent. So our new plan was for me to move back to Canada, get set up and he would join within the year. This was 3 years ago.

So I sponsored his immigration to Canada and he transferred to the US last year (not Toronto where we live). Needless to say, things got rockier with each passing month apart. Tried counselling, but didn't seem to go anywhere so last Oct we separated, and in Dec I accidentally discover he's been having an affair with a 25 yr old for the past 2 years. Devastating.

Now we are divorcing. Luckily, custody will not be an issue as he agrees I should have full custody. I'm wondering about my rights for spousal.

I stayed home for 3 years to raise our daughter, and returned back to f/t work recently. We both make similar good incomes - so do I even have a case? My argument is that since he is out of country, he only see's his daughter every other weekend (totally 3 days a month). He's unable to see her more, or attend to sick days, dr appointments because he's simply not here. So I have to bear the burden of sole child-rearing as well as ft work. He will also move back to his country if his gf doesn't find work here, so soon my daughter won't even see him on a regular basis.

I'm wondering if it's even worthwhile to pursue the SS with my lawyer - given the lack of income disparity?

And when he lives abroad (8 hour flight) - what kind of access can I expect to negotiate? I'm thinking he can have her spring break, and weeks in the summer - but what about holidays and birthdays?

Would love any advice from those of you who have gone through this.

[logicalvelocity]

Originally Posted by City Mom

Hi - I'm new to the site. Great to see I'm not alone. I'm so upset and confused and could really use some help.

I'm currently separated from my husband for about 10 months now. We've been together for 10 years - 2 years long distance, 5 years living together overseas, then he proposed and we've been married 4 years and have a 3 yr old daughter.

When my husband proposed, he promised we would move back to Canada within the year, but several months later, he accepted another 2 year position overseas. At this point, my daughter was several months old and I was dispondent. So our new plan was for me to move back to Canada, get set up and he would join within the year. This was 3 years ago.

So I sponsored his immigration to Canada and he transferred to the US last year (not Toronto where we live). Needless to say, things got rockier with each passing month apart. Tried counselling, but didn't seem to go anywhere so last Oct we separated, and in Dec I accidentally discover he's been having an affair with a 25 yr old for the past 2 years. Devastating.

Now we are divorcing. Luckily, custody will not be an issue as he agrees I should have full custody. I'm wondering about my rights for spousal.

I stayed home for 3 years to raise our daughter, and returned back to f/t work recently. We both make similar good incomes - so do I even have a case? My argument is that since he is out of country, he only see's his daughter every other weekend (totally 3 days a month). He's unable to see her more, or attend to sick days, dr appointments because he's simply not here. So I have to bear the burden of sole child-rearing as well as ft work. He will also move back to his country if his gf doesn't find work here, so soon my daughter won't even see him on a regular basis.

I'm wondering if it's even worthwhile to pursue the SS with my lawyer - given the lack of income disparity?

And when he lives abroad (8 hour flight) - what kind of access can I expect to negotiate? I'm thinking he can have her spring break, and weeks in the summer - but what about holidays and birthdays?

Would love any advice from those of you who have gone through this.

Given the lack of income disparities, I suspect the court would not award any spousal support based on needs and means philosophy. Actually the father's income may be less than your own as no doubt he will be paying a tabled amount of child support to you for your child.

However, it doesn't hurt to discuss your options with a lawyer. In the end you have to look at what are your chances of success verses costs of the litigation. If your unsuccessful, you might be on the hook for the other parties costs.


lv