I have not seen him for 14 years

[paris]

She said she left with "her kids, not his".

As stated above you lost your chance to get any of his pension after 6 years. You also lost your chance to get your $30k back.

I'm sorry about your son, but his illness had nothing to do with your X.

[griz161]

OMG I can't believe I'm reading this, like you deserve it, but the way courts treat dads who knows. Like he had a choice in not seeing his kid. Why do so many moms use their kids to get back at Dad. My ex has been trying to push me out of my kids lives for 4 years now when my kids love coming here as much as moms. Good grief for the moms doing this please think of your kids health. Kids do grow up and when they figure out the real reason there was no Dad in the picture, it will be too bad for you.

[WorkingDAD]

Yea!

Even this is not a case but yea mom do not think ahead... When I asked my ex lets assume you destroy me and I will be out of his life. Time come and he will start asking questions and looking for me - WHAT YOU WILL TELL HIM? When he will find out why his dad gone he will hate you for the rest of his life.

Answer was - why do you think he even will ask about you or will look for you?
No comments what I can tell

[mama2bee]

So just re read all this and am super confused.... from what I gathered is you posted on this forum in a moment of pain and anger towards your ex who was not your sons biological father but his step-father... correct?

Then after calming down a bit you retracted your intentions and gave an explanation as to why your amo was to gut him the only way you could? (i.e pension)

So where are we now? other than me still confused

OH AND other point... was there one child or more?

[wretchedotis]

Originally Posted by Gary M

Personal feelings about the tone of your post aside, I would suggest that you would be entitled to 1/2 of the increase in the actuarial* value of his pension from the day you were married until the day you left.

Unless he's an idiot with an idiot lawyer, you'll not "get" anything dating from after your departure.

Cheers!

Gary

* Actuarial value is a calculated (i.e. not "actual") value based on what lawyers and accountants figure a pension will pay out over time, and based on things like anticipated life expentancy. My ex's share (about 25%) of mine is about $200,000 ... not too bad for 14 years of bloodsucking laziness

i like this answer.....lol