I have not seen him for 14 years

[beautifulshaun]

I am not divorced from him I took my kids not his 14 years ago and never looked back can I divorce him now and get half of his pension?

[Gary M]

Originally Posted by beautifulshaun

I am not divorced from him I took my kids not his 14 years ago and never looked back can I divorce him now and get half of his pension?

Personal feelings about the tone of your post aside, I would suggest that you would be entitled to 1/2 of the increase in the actuarial* value of his pension from the day you were married until the day you left.

Unless he's an idiot with an idiot lawyer, you'll not "get" anything dating from after your departure.

Cheers!

Gary

* Actuarial value is a calculated (i.e. not "actual") value based on what lawyers and accountants figure a pension will pay out over time, and based on things like anticipated life expentancy. My ex's share (about 25%) of mine is about $200,000 ... not too bad for 14 years of bloodsucking laziness

[dinkyface]

You may have claim to half of the amount that accrued **during the period that you were together** So, exclude the 20% that he built up before you married, and exclude the 50% that he built up in the last 14 years (just making up the %'s here).

(Sorry GaryM, I see you said pretty much the same thing)

This is complicated stuff- You can spend a lot of $$ on a lawyers who are able to figure out the correct $ to be split.

http://www.servicecanada.gc.ca/eng/i...ditsplit.shtml

http://www.tbs-sct.gc.ca/hr-rh/bp-ra...rtager-eng.asp

http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/F.../pensions.html

[Gary M]

Originally Posted by dinkyface

This is complicated stuff- You can spend a lot of $$ on a lawyers who are able to figure out the correct $ to be split.

You can say THAT again! Some people make a living doing nothing but pension figuring

Cheers!

Gary

[WorkingDAD]

Originally Posted by beautifulshaun

I am not divorced from him I took my kids not his 14 years ago and never looked back can I divorce him now and get half of his pension?

OK
I am very seldom say that, but man I HATE SUCH PEOPLE.

14 years ago and never looked back

- so do not look now. common people. HOW THE HELL YOU CAN EVEN THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS...

May be I am not from this would but I personally just could not believe I would ever could even think such thing .... My good we are doomed I am telling you...

sorry for straight words but I have to tell that...

[beautifulshaun]

I just want to say thanks to those that replied to my post for you openness and honesty. I would like to say that there is more to the story than told When I moved in with John it was his home and I gave him 30,000 dollars John was very hard on my son Shaun and that is why I choose to leave him and take care of the , my bitterness came back for John when I recieved an email from him about a year ago almost 3 years after my son Shaun died of a horrible cancer and what triggered me was he did not even spell Shauns name right that was all I took and I thought to myself you XXXXX you will pay for all the pain and suffering you caused Shaun. I walked away from the marriage with absoluteley nothing............. I will not go after John for anything because my reasons for doing it are wrong I realize this I just want to hurt like I have. So any men reading this pls do not paint us all with one brush thanks lesley

[dadtotheend]

Firstly, it's been 14 years. You are going to have a problem explaining why you waited so long to move this foward.

Secondly you vindictive SOB, it's so nice to hear how you are carrying that cross so long and so hard.

You have bigger issues than "...making him pay". But tell that to your counsellor sucka.

As for "...painting you all with the same brush", there's really no need. You stand out on your own - well and truly.

[mama2bee]

The loss of a child is not something I can even begin to fathom. Having been close to losing my daughter a few times I can only begin to wrap my head around the grief and pain you feel and I am very sorry for your tragic loss.
That being said;

You walked away from his father and as much as you want revenge for his total lack of support you made the choice to leave. We can not run around punishing all who we see fit to. I am sorry you hurt but I would not go down this road. Find a counselor or therapist as DDTE suggested

[Mess]

Equalization has to be done, or at least a claim started, within 6 years of separation. The exceptions would be if your name was on the title to a property or a joint account, then your property is your property, you would keep your share.

[HammerDad]

I guess Shaun wasn't his child from how you described the scenario. But if I am wrong, and it was also his son, then you probably don't want to know about my position on parenting kidnapping and alienation......

You say he was hard on your son. Why you believe this is your own, I don't need to know why. But in all these sorts of instances what we believe is a matter of perspective.

Anyway, your chances of getting anything are fairly slim. Your arguments are going to be weak at best and your reasoning for going after him now (he spelt Shaun's name wrong?...I mean, it has been 14 years....really, things happen and people forget) is vindictive.