Hullo..

[ljdursi]

Well, after several months I'm finally getting things together to get my divorce put together and finalized.

On March 10th, I came home and my wife of 6 years Robbie told me out of the blue that she no longer loved me and didn't want to be married anymore. She stopped coming home at nights, and I found another place to stay for a while.

Things had been distant between us this past year, but I had thought that it was because she was getting so involved with school and her projects; I missed the time we used to spend with her, but I was delighted she was getting involved with so many things, especially because our first year moving to Toronto from Chicago had been so hard for her; things didn't go the way we planned that year at all.

The closest I got to an explanation was almost two weeks later, when
she wrote me that:

> I want to live alone.
> I want independence and no obligations to move here, go here, buy this
> thing at the grocery, cook this, do this, negotiate relations with my friends
> and others according to someone else's comfort and wishes and so on ad
> nauseum.
> I want to pursue my own dreams and goals and share them with people
> who care about me and I care about.
> I want to know you.
> I want to know what you care about and think about.
>

Anyway, after being enormously upset, I've spent the little while gathering my strength, and putting aside my pride and hurt feelings to try to become friends with Robbie again, trying to go to counselling, even accepting that she might start seeing other people (even while we were going to counselling) because I wanted her to do what she needed to do in the off chance that, once that was done, she'd want to come back.

After the initial two weeks we had planned to be staying in the same place together for at least another month or so, because we had talked a lot and opened up a lot and were slowly rebuilding our friendship, and getting ready for couples counselling; and that's when I found out (not from Robbie) that she was sleeping with my officemate and in fact
was going to go off with him somewhere that weekend. (There are only two of us in the office, we sit side by side ~60 hours a week; I have to walk past him to get to my desk. )

So it's been a rough ride, but things are slowly getting put back together and I'm looking forward to getting all of this well and truly behind me.