Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Introductions

Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:25 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 9
Scrooged is on a distinguished road
Default Hi new here

Hello, not only new to this site but generally new to forums so I don't know all the tools and tricks to getting around but here it goes...lol

This is a long story, I'll try to make it as "to the point" as possible.

I am male and my ex common law wife of 20 years is seeking support from me. We have no children.

We both started out with nothing and pretty much lived day to day with what we had. We always shared all expenses 50/50. My wife worked as a private house cleaner and had several clients.

I started a new job back in 1993 and worked hard to move ahead in the company and was somewhat succesful. Back in 2000 when I felt we were more financially secure, we decided to buy a house together. I used my RRSP as a downpayment on the house and away we went. However it was still agreed that we would keep sharing expenses 50/50. Of course that was not in writing, but the fact that she signed a mortgage agreement would seem to prove that she was as liable as I for the mortgage. I was making more money at the time so I agreed that I would pay all of the bills like hydro,gas,water,insurance etc...She decided she wanted a phone line and cable so she payed for that.

My wife always had tendencies toward severe verbal and physical outbursts but that became much more pronounced when we moved into our new house. She all of a sudden decided to stop paying her share of the mortgage after only 18 months. She slowly started dropping her house cleaning clients to the point that she only had one or two left.

Our relationship just started to break down and her outbursts became more and more frequent. I was assaulted verbally and physically on numerous occasions throughout the years. I kept on trying to help her and turn things around but the harder I tried the worse things got...She would just stay up late every night and sleep in till noon or 1 oclock every day. After 5 years, we ended up living seperate lives.

Finally in January of 2011, she was removed from the house by the police for domestic abuse against me. It was very hard for me to call the police but I was at the end of my rope.

We agreed to some terms for a legal seperation. I had all the documents drawn up by my lawyer. When she brought the documents to her lawyer, all of a sudden, she wanted alot more. She is now seeking to get half of all "matrimonial" assets and a ridiculous amount of monthly support from me. What I am learning so far is that apparently I should not have let things go on for so long(duh) and that I am at fault for trying to help her. Her lawyer has packaged quite an application which justifies her actions as being caused by medical problems.

This woman made my life unbearable for 10 years and now potentially could affect me permanently. I am not trying to dump her out onto the street with nothing, I made her a very reasonnable offer.

I appreciate you all reading this and look forward to your comments. Don't have to "sugar coat" anything...I am preparring for the worse.

Thanks
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 10-18-2011, 07:39 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 485
staysingle is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes all the assets will be distributed equally minus the debt. This is separation 101! You need to come up to speed on modern Spousal Support law in this country. Google Spousal support Ontario and take some time to get informed!

Good luck
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2011, 05:52 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 9
Scrooged is on a distinguished road
Default

Thanks for the good luck wishes

I'm just saying...it's not fair...that is not justice in my opinion...I hope some lawyer or judge will take a stand and change these ridiculous laws one day or at least judge each case based on their merits.

Sorry if I seem naive but no one has ever said anything to me that makes this seem right...
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2011, 06:13 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 485
staysingle is on a distinguished road
Default

As a man,I'm proud of you you called the cops for domestic violence. It's not an easy call to make!!!
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2011, 09:49 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: muskoka
Posts: 45
meamia is on a distinguished road
Default

hi i'm new here as well and not sure how to post a new thread... I was just wondering if i am an abused wife and the relationship has lasted for just over a year. For 6 months of that we were not allowed to see each other. In june we were allowed to see each other and it was just not the same. I moved out of the married home back to my house which i had before the marriage. in sept he assualted me again. Is he still entitled to the legal division of property as i make more than him. Am i to pay for the right of being a punching bag.
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2011, 10:37 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: muskoka
Posts: 45
meamia is on a distinguished road
Default

i guess i should not have posted on yr question, but it is interesting , or if someone is reading this can redirect me to the posting i would most benefit from. tx and good luck
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2011, 07:33 PM
May_May's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 519
May_May is on a distinguished road
Default

Scrooged-I'm also glad you called the police. I have a few male friends who have also been hit during their breakups and it's usually let go and ignored. It's not OK...
Try doing a search here for other common law posts and see what you find. Some great history here in the forum ! Good luck...
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2011, 08:39 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 304
shellshocked22 is on a distinguished road
Default

Scrooged, number one get a "GOOD" family law lawyer. However, while your ex will likely have a shot of screwing you out of spousal support given that you are COMMON LAW my understanding is that 50% "equaliziation" of assets is NOT a given since you were NOT married.

I invite others to join in but for common law, 50% equalization is NOT a given like it is for married couples. My understanding is that she would have to "prove" she is entitled to it (ie. she helped pay for an asset, helped maintain it, etc.).

So, you might be in better shape than you think with respect to "assets". I suspect that for spousal support though, you'll have to fight it out. At least you are fortunate there are no kids. Spousal support is tax deductible to the payor (ie. YOU) AND while there are guidelines, unlike child support you can negotiate it. Child support is also non-deductible for the payor (yet another way the government screws guys out of hard earned income).

Best advice I can give you is do your homework (this site is a good start) and get a good lawyer. Fight her hard; don't give up my friend !!!
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2011, 10:38 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 31
LotusLand47 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shellshocked22 View Post
Scrooged, number one get a "GOOD" family law lawyer. However, while your ex will likely have a shot of screwing you out of spousal support given that you are COMMON LAW my understanding is that 50% "equaliziation" of assets is NOT a given since you were NOT married.

I invite others to join in but for common law, 50% equalization is NOT a given like it is for married couples. My understanding is that she would have to "prove" she is entitled to it (ie. she helped pay for an asset, helped maintain it, etc.).

So, you might be in better shape than you think with respect to "assets". I suspect that for spousal support though, you'll have to fight it out. At least you are fortunate there are no kids. Spousal support is tax deductible to the payor (ie. YOU) AND while there are guidelines, unlike child support you can negotiate it. Child support is also non-deductible for the payor (yet another way the government screws guys out of hard earned income).

Best advice I can give you is do your homework (this site is a good start) and get a good lawyer. Fight her hard; don't give up my friend !!!
My understanding is different.
Common law for > 2yrs = married - period. So you and spouse split all of "your" and "her" assets 50 50. Spousal - kids versus no kids is a big distinction. but if she has lawyered up, you may be in for a rough ride....

Ask your laywer about what the judge WILL PROBABLY award - no point paying to fight a losing cause as you MAY pay her costs too in this event....

read the rules on spousal support yourself - save having to pay a lawyer to explain it to you...
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2011, 11:10 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,474
dinkyface will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LotusLand47 View Post
Common law for > 2yrs = married - period.
That is not true. A marriage contract makes a significant difference to how assets/home are divided. This is an Ontario forum, by the way... perhaps you are in a different province??
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:35 AM.