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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2010, 02:26 PM
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hey mothercourage.

I too feel as if I am being attacked by a hostile ex. He's said that he would be happy with a 65/35 split but will fight me for 50/50 in order to not have to pay child support. He says that he won't pay a set amount for child support every month and wants me to bill him for child related expenses. In addition, despite the fact that we have already calculated our net family property and I am willing to not take an equalization of his pension, he refuses to deal with the equalization and the kids separately and will not give me my share of the net family property until we agree to custody and support which means that we have to continue living together while we either battle it in court or I concede to his crazy idea for billing him for child related expenses and hope that he pays them. I deal with my stress by running/biking/swimming, chocolate and the occasional glass of wine.
He is out to lunch if he thinks he can not pay according to the CS tables, using either the full amount or the set off amount. Nobody does billing for expenses and it simply won't work for too many reasons to list - ahh the ignorance of newly separated people.

I wouldn't want to pay full table when I take care of the kids 35% of the time - seems very unfair - which is talked about a lot here. On the other hand 35% of the time (5 days out of 14 for example), may seem like they are just visiting him and he many not end up doing/paying for 35% of their care such as clothes, camps, school stuff, and other expenses/events. You may end up essentially being the 100% real caregiver, but he doesn't pay you full table. If he does not want 50/50 (or reasonably close), then he probably will not take care of the kids financially/effort wise for his portion and in that light, he should pay full table amount (or close to it). Every other weekend plus every wednesday is 28%, so he is doing one more day than that.

Given that you must both maintain a home for the kids here is one idea - you can use the offset method (his CS table amount - yours) = what he pays you monthy (or visa versa if you make more) BUT you than also split all normal expenses (ie not section 7), such as clothing, school trips, sports, camps, etc 50/50 (keep receipts and balance it out monthly). Section 7 (medical, dental, etc) would still be according to income. You update CS amounts yearly July 1 based on previous year income tax returns. The only thing 'unfair' about this if you have the kids 65% of the time is that you would feed them more, more utilities, and possibly be restricted from making some income as you would have more parenting duties. This could be alleviated by going to 50/50 (and why would any parent not want this), or he can compensate a set amount each month.

That's my 2 cents.
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Old 08-18-2010, 03:11 PM
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Thanks Bill M. The proposed parenting plan is one night a week for dinner and every other weekend and all along when I've asked if that's a sufficient amount of time, he has said that it would depend on how much child support he would pay. I have additionally stated that I don't need the full table amount. I earn a decent salary and am not out to get him. The issue is that he won't agree to any set amount per month, not the $700 suggested by the mediator, which is $400 less than table amount or even $500 which I would have agreed to. This is about control and he hasn't sought legal advice as he thinks he knows what's right. My lawyer has basically laid out several scenarios for me all of which involve going to court at some point to have the child support issue resolved. I am willing to leave at this point, with no legal child support arrangement and agree to bill him monthly if he will let me have my share of the net family property just so that I can get out of the house. I will go to court when we are no longer living under the same roof.
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Old 08-18-2010, 04:49 PM
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T...The issue is that he won't agree to any set amount per month, not the $700 suggested by the mediator, which is $400 less than table amount or even $500 which I would have agreed to...
$500 per month to raise 2 or more kids? $17/day???!!! He's an IDIOT if he thinks thats not a 'deal' (especially considering the table amount is $1100). He's also a <insert appropriate title here> for not simply using the CS tables according to his income and stand up to his obligation to support his kids. Writing the cheque is the easy part. I pay a lot more than that and I have my kids half the time (more than half time actually)!
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