Hello.... so I'm not the only one who needs to vent..

[Rioe]

Counselling isn't necessarily about changing you, it should be primarily about increasing your understanding of your wife, and hers of you. Even people who have known and loved one another for five years can sometimes use some help communicating and dealing with a big upheaval, and moving in together after marriage is certainly a life change. Don't think of it as fixing something broken about either of you, or as the last step before divorce, think of seeking counselling as simply consulting an expert on how to navigate this big adjustment period.

I think there are probably many of us on here who would say that, looking back, there were times when counselling may have helped save a marriage, but that we didn't recognize it at the time and lost that window of opportunity.

[Whattodo?]

Thank you all for the great advice. I'm trying to have an open mind and try to shake off thoughts of starting over. I know I have issues with her parents and I'm really trying to look past it.

Thanks again.

[Mominneed]

Regardless of the problems in your marriage, you WILL make them worse talking to another woman. You soon may not have the CHOICE to stay in this marriage if she finds out. On top of that, you are living in a dream world thinking this other woman is so wonderful and probably comparing her to your current wife all the time. This is not reality. Marriage is hard, its a struggle - fantasizing about what a great life you could have with someone else is easy because you can make it perfect in your own mind. Give up this emotional affair now and focus on the current problems in your marriage.

Having said that, no one should feel embarrassed if they aren't happy. Living your life for other peoples approval is a losing battle.

Hope your vent made you at least feel a little bit better. Sometimes that's all you!

[Whattodo?]

"Having said that, no one should feel embarrassed if they aren't happy. Living your life for other peoples approval is a losing battle."

The statement above summed up all my feelings. Still struggling but taking it one day at a time.