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Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

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Old 10-10-2005, 05:48 PM
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srhonda61 is on a distinguished road
Default Hello from Rhonda

Hi Jeff and anybody else out there.

I first looked at Jeff's website when I was in the height of my divorce proceedings.....It has since gone to TRIAL!!! That was back in April of this year and I got the Reasons for Judgement in July. The results were better than even my lawyer imagined....to me, it was simply justice done and something that I should have never have had to go through.

It was about an almost ex-husband who, at first, made decisions based on reasonable, rational thinking with the best interest of the kids in mind....and then, later trying to go back on his decisions because of sheer greediness and wanting to destroy me.....without any regard for what it would do to his kids.

He was a man who never willingly paid child support and thought that HE was the victim in this mess.

Thankfully, custody was never an issue. He handed me sole custody without so much as a discussion. That's because he never wanted the responsibility. That's okay. I'm absolutely thrilled. We separated five years ago when my sons were 13 and 10 and now they're just a joy to have with me. One is in University and the other is a straight A student in Secondary School, both of them extremely well adjusted and doing well emotionally and socially. They hardly see their father, my youngest one sees him approximately one day a week, if that...and not for the whole day either. It's less for my older son. Actually, it's quite shocking that my younger son stayed overnight with him this weekend for one night because that hasn't happened in months.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is, the lawyer has made his submission for costs and I'm still waiting for results. The not soon enough ex has run from his lawyer's bill, and is filing for bankruptcy. Too bad for him that he can't escape the $21,000 in child support arrears that he owes. Too bad that I still owe my lawyer $19,000 that I have to dip into my inheritance for. I make a small income. Too bad that it ever had to happen. Thank G-d for my two sons that are the only two reasons to make all of that worth it.

Good luck to everybody in this forum and my hope is that everybody gets the justice that they deserve, good or bad.

Regards, Rhonda
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Old 10-10-2005, 07:58 PM
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Hi Rhonda,

Thanks for dropping by and sharing your story! I'm glad to hear that you got such a good result.

If costs are awarded in your favour attributable to a support issue, then these costs can be enforced by the Family Responsibility Office and will survive your ex's bankruptcy.
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Old 10-10-2005, 08:22 PM
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Our ex's sound the same. I've been at it for 2 1/2 years. How long did yours take from start to finish. I was scheduled for trial last spring then it got moved to this Oct and now it has been again adjourned until next April. The court system is so slow. I'm happy that it all worked out for you in the end. I hear that less than 3% of all divorces in Ont. end up at trial. It is also a very expensive way to go. I beleive my ex is dragging it out through the court system out of pure spite, plus the fact that he doesnt want to pay up. He too doesnt pay child support.
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Old 10-11-2005, 04:03 PM
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srhonda61 is on a distinguished road
Default Hi Grace

Sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing. I know...It's hell.
We were separated in November 2000 and he didn't pay child support for the time up until he served me with divorce papers in November, 2003. We went through a time when we tried to go to a mediator and, after that didn't work, I went to a lawyer to try to put together a separation agreement. That didn't work either because, one, he wasn't cooperative, and, two, I ended up hating the first lawyer I chose.

Then it got ugly because he kept coming after ME for money! It ended in an incident where the police were involved and he was given a restraining order. Peace, at last...so I just left it alone until I received those dreaded divorce papers and gasped at what he actually thought he could get from me.

The trial was in April of this year and I got the results in July. I went through a few more lawyers and ended up happy with the one I had. It took a long time.....and it took a lot out of me.

You'll get through it....It seems like it will never end....but it does....Sort of....If there's kids, the a*#hole will always be there in some way shape or form. Ugh!

Try your best to keep your chin up!
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Old 10-11-2005, 05:30 PM
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Hi Rhonda,

Thanks for the encouragement. I have had the same senior lawyer from the beginning, but have changed junior lawyers once. My case is complicated because there is a family owned business involved. I couldnt imagine changes lawyers because I find it to complicated. I also find it very expensive. I have been to court 9 times for motions. I am fustrated because the actually trial keeps getting delayed. The reason for the Oct trial getting delay is that his lawyer quit. If we could just get to trial there wouldnt be any reason for all the motions. I say he uses the family court system to legally bully me. I too have gone to a mediator but that didnt work out, he walked out. He plays the victim also. Part of the problem is that he has lots of money for lawyers. He's been through 4 so far.

Did you find it difficult and expensive to change lawyers? Why didnt you like your first few lawyers?

Thanks again for your support
Grace
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