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Old 01-25-2011, 05:34 PM
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Your situation is complicated. Dad messed up big time when he allowed her to leave.

Just because GENERALLY they won't go back, doesn't mean that it's always that way. She can ask for arrears and she may get them. Your best bet is to settle with her out of court, then pay for an hour of time to have independent legal representation review it.

YOU and YOUR KIDS do NOT factor into things UNLESS one of them claim undue hardship. As the father, his chances of pulling that off are virtually NIL. There has to be a SIGNIFICANT difference in the household income and significant is up to the judge's discretion.

Start paying her...NOW, at the full table amounts, via documented method. (email money xfer or similar). That way you have an argument if she tries to drag you into court. (ie. the second she popped up and we knew where she was we started paying).

You can pawn off the past attempts as her refusing and then up and disappearing again on you before you could do anything about it.

In terms of your kids and your agreement with your ex, you should be taking HIS line 150 amounts, plugging them in here:

Federal Child Support Amounts: Simplified Tables

and figuring out what your ex should be paying. The CS should have been automatically adjusted up or down every year as needed. $200 for 2 kids sounds really low, depending on what your ex makes.

If you pursue a hardship claim, expect that his ex will argue that you are not doing everything in your power to provide for YOUR kids, so why should HE have to? Those are the things you have to take into consideration.
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:35 PM
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There is always reason to try and forge a relationship with your kid. Don't think for a minute that boy isn't wondering why his dad abandoned him. Because you know what, from my perspective in the cheap seats, Dad did. He had ample opportunity to go after the appropriate remedies to maintain the relationship and he dropped the ball.

No, suggesting the separate account is not normal. But it is a start to showing you are willing to negotiate in good faith, but more importantly, that Dad wants to re-establish the relationship with his son.

Also, just so you know, that the "child support" is just that. However you decide to pay it, it is for maintaining the lifestyle of the child. She is under NO obligation to ensure that money goes towards his education. She could use it to go on cruises adn shopping sprees and still hit dad up for his proportionate amount of Section 7 expenses associated with post secondary. Should she choose to use the C/S and put it in a savings account, that is her choice and would generally be used as her contribution towards education.

Ultimately the two most important factors here are that 1) dad and son re-establish their relationship and 2) dad pay his support to mom for c/s. From there, you will need an agreement in writing providing that the c/s payments made by Dad are to be deposited into a savings account for the boys post education, and even then I doubt that agreement would be binding. Because as said above, there is no accounting for c/s. And should his post secondary education be more then the amount provided, she can come back for more.
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:39 PM
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ok nb, thanks for your advice. Well the thing is for me I am looking into disability now as I am truly unable to work. Yes the first email she sent us we agreed right away, of course we'll pay and even slipped in "at least it's something for the child" His ex and I know this gets said often is a real manipulative individual who unfortunately can make ones life hell. I just want to make sure we're doing everything right.

Now your saying line 150, but our last income tax was for EI only, like hardly an income for that year? now what? Also I'm aware that a new family has nothing to do with first child. I only have one child with my ex and the second one is with now husband. One last thing actually that i forgot, even if I made money, can the court touch my money too?
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:55 PM
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http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...her-poll-8417/
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