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SteelCityDad 07-15-2016 03:33 PM

Great Site!
 
I have been lurking around for a few months now. It has been a great help to me so far and I am sure will greatly help out in my battle that has already started.

arabian 07-15-2016 10:02 PM

Welcome. Hopefully you can find ways to resolve your problems without going to court. Anyone on here who has been in divorce/separation litigation will tell you that the process can be all-encompassing and financial and emotionally draining.

What's your situation?

SteelCityDad 07-16-2016 11:26 AM

Thanks arabian,

I am already in the court phase now, at CC judge asked OCL to see if they would step in, they did and have had 4 meetings already.

My situation is not great at all but far from the worst. My ex common law spouse of six years and I have one child together D5. After the ex was to intoxicated to care for our child one morning, I confronted her about her extra-marital affairs and fraud (she had been using our child to collect OW and they where threatening to come after me for child support, even though I have been there they whole time supporting our family) she agreed to move out shortly after(should have got this in writing), we agreed that she would come say goodnight to our daughter later that day. She did not care to even speak to our daughter when she arrived and just called the police to say she never said she agreed to move out. Police made her leave and required her to have a police escort if she wished to come back.

Very first chance I went to the court house to file the paper work so I guess I am the applicant in the matter, and only wished to get a court order so she could not flee with our child as she has threatened many times before. I signed a temporary minutes of settlement without counsel and was prepared by hers(she had legal aid from the beginning) that is 50/50 split week access because I thought this was very fair. Also to make sure she could not flee with our child her lawyer put in the our child must reside at a certain address with residing with her and my address residing with me. (kind of a big mistake as now our daughter is not allowed to sleep at our family cottage which is my secondary address and our daughter has her own room there and spent a lot of time during thee summer there).

At first i thought I was in a great position because all of her documents are full of lies most of which I can prove, then after coming here I found out this is standard practice in family law and no one will care.

She has also been in contempt of our current Court Order from abandoning our child in a home where she was attacked by a dog. I do have evidence to support my claim that would show beyond a reasonable doubt that she new what she was doing was wrong and just didn't care. Again after reading some topics on this sites it seems as if no one will care.

So know I am just having to defend myself against all the fake accusations and lies. I have already exhausted all my finances on lawyers and have legal aid now, however it seem my lawyer now has way to big of case load and not much time for me.

I would like to thank all the dads out there that have fought for 50/50 as I am. My ex would like me to have no say and EOW access.

SteelCityDad 08-12-2016 12:43 PM

Already began the court process, waiting on report from OCL(section 112 I believe, Social worker).

Have one daughter (D5) whom is five from common-law relationship. We have been separated for 9 months now.

Have 50/50 now after I signed temporary minutes of settlement, which I felt was fair to both parties. I had to get Court order as ex was threatening flight with our child.

I am the Applicant in our case. Have already exhausted my savings in the court process, and now have LAO. My lawyer accepts many legal aid cases and is highly overworked. I am hoping to find a new lawyer which does not accept as many legal aid cases and would hopefully have more time for my case. Any recommendations for some in the Hamilton area would be greatly welcomed.

No co parenting is going on. Ex lies in all court documents, doesn't follow our Court Order, and plans on moving our child out of province where D5 has no family or friends to continue one of her extra material relationships. I know this cannot happen unless a judge orders ex sole custody.

Links17 08-16-2016 06:22 AM

Quote:

I know this cannot happen unless a judge orders ex sole custody
It is just harder, not impossible. If she asks to moves a judge will decide if the kid goes.

SteelCityDad 09-06-2016 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Links17 (Post 210471)
It is just harder, not impossible. If she asks to moves a judge will decide if the kid goes.

Indeed this is true, and even if she does get sole a judge would have to order this I hope.

Tayken 09-10-2016 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteelCityDad (Post 209725)
(kind of a big mistake as now our daughter is not allowed to sleep at our family cottage which is my secondary address and our daughter has her own room there and spent a lot of time during thee summer there).

Let them try to contempt you on that. It would be a ridiculous attempt and it would get eaten alive in Hamilton court house. In fact, it would probably help demonstrate the problem you are dealing with. Contempt for going to a cottage?! Really, think about it.

SteelCityDad 09-10-2016 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tayken (Post 211307)
Let them try to contempt you on that. It would be a ridiculous attempt and it would get eaten alive in Hamilton court house. In fact, it would probably help demonstrate the problem you are dealing with. Contempt for going to a cottage?! Really, think about it.


Yes, that would probably get eating up pretty quick. I have made two requests to the ex's lawyer about having our current court order amended to allow our daughter to sleep over at the family cottage, however they all seem to be ignored and never got a response. The cottage is only 45mins away so we do get to go there, but have had to drive home before night then drive back the next day. Now that it is getting dark earlier it would really limit our time there.

Rioe 09-10-2016 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteelCityDad (Post 209725)
Also to make sure she could not flee with our child her lawyer put in the our child must reside at a certain address with residing with her and my address residing with me. (kind of a big mistake as now our daughter is not allowed to sleep at our family cottage which is my secondary address and our daughter has her own room there and spent a lot of time during thee summer there).

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteelCityDad (Post 211318)
Yes, that would probably get eating up pretty quick. I have made two requests to the ex's lawyer about having our current court order amended to allow our daughter to sleep over at the family cottage, however they all seem to be ignored and never got a response. The cottage is only 45mins away so we do get to go there, but have had to drive home before night then drive back the next day. Now that it is getting dark earlier it would really limit our time there.

I find it hard to believe that having the child reside at a specific address (or two in your case) precludes that child ever going overnight anywhere else.

Do you propose for the child to NEVER have a sleepover at a friend's house? Can you or your ex NEVER take the child on a holiday to another town? Can you or your ex NEVER take the child for a weekend at Gramma's house?

Yes, your agreement restricts you from ever moving to a new house, even across the street, but as long as you don't do that, I can't see your agreement preventing you from doing ordinary family activities that require an occasional overnight elsewhere.

Not being able to change the child's residential address is one thing, but the child not being able to EVER sleep somewhere else now and then is ridiculous. I'm sure whatever judge ordered that did not intend it to be interpreted this way. Even if he judged your ex a risk to abduct the child and thought her overnights should be restricted, did he make a similar finding about you? Probably not.

If you don't get a response to your requests for overnights elsewhere, I'd say you could probably just go, and say that as you received no objections, you figured it was okay, as it's a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

SteelCityDad 09-10-2016 10:51 PM

It directly states in our temporary minutes of settlement the address of which the child shall sleep at while residing with each party. A judge didn't order it, it was prepared by the ex's duty counsel while I had no counsel. It was then signed off by a judge. I was just about to post in a tread on this site about mistakes made while representing yourself about this.

I don't want to breech this court order and have stuck it out, the ex on the other hand does what she wants, including lying to the court about her address as she didn't even get any rooms in the house she said she was living in until about a month later and abandoning our child in a home where she was attacked by a dog so she could visit a intimate partner in another province.

I hope this will show the courts that I am willing to follow a court order and my ex is not by sticking it out. We manage to get by from having all our sleepovers at our home, even though D5 is upset we can't have sleepovers when with me and only can with mom.


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