Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Introductions

Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2010, 02:27 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,203
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

nice to see you are turning into a strong woman. Yes there are both sides to every story but sometimes both parents need to get past blaming and onto parenting. The way it sounds he isn't ready to do that yet. He is still trying to control.

I can understand how hard it was for you when you had your accident. Between the meds physio and wondering how much mobility you would get back must have been tough. It would have been nice of him to try and accomodate you by bringing the kids to you but he wasn't required to do so.

good luck
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2010, 02:30 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Petawawa
Posts: 23
MamaDM is on a distinguished road
Default

LostFather,

Please don't think that you have to do things better than your ex,even financially. I struggle to make even 12,000 a year while he makes at least 35-45,000 more than that with the benefit of two incomes on top of that. Your kids love you for you. Just the time they spend with you is what they want. It doesn't matter how much you can give them in extras they'll love you for what you've given of yourself. At least mine do and they are learning to appreciate what short time we have left in life and that money isn't everything. I have already been bankrupt for all of this and heading to a second.

As for getting the children. I had to get a lawyer and legal aid which I did. The lawyer was to work on it without result. I tried to convince ex and family and friends to assist in travel. Family moved in two directions to Edmonton and New Brunswick so was left alone at home. Doctor made me sign an agreement not to drive other than to appointments around town or she would take away my license completely despite my objection that I can't get my children. She said it was too dangerous for me to be driving. That's not something I can get around. I called all transportation methods and their restrictions, given the girls ages, were not conducive to them travelling. Being on SA and not even being able to maintain rent left nothing for food or travelling expenses need to have someone get them. The lawyer agreed we had done everything we could. Ex's failure to cooperate displayed his willingness to separate- this is how it was explained to me. Little comfort to me emotionally. But I was reassured we'd have him in court over it.

That was last year and now that I'm doing it on my own we've made it to one court appearance and mediation. I will press on and I welcome the OCL. I am requesting their involvement as I did the first time. I am aware that they will find out everything and I welcome it. I want my children to have a voice in all of this irregardless of what that little voice says. I respect my girls and am confident of their love for their parents. They're good girls.

Thank you for your reply.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2010, 02:41 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Petawawa
Posts: 23
MamaDM is on a distinguished road
Default

Standing,

Thank you for the koodos on becoming stronger. It is very liberating. I appreciate that. Yes we do have to get past the blaming it was a difficulty of mediation but I found focusing on looking forward made it a little easier to focus. I don't think he is ready to give up control nor will he. It's a part of his personality that I could never change. It's his personal problem and a sad one for our girls.

Yes, I do realize he wasn't required to. Nor was I asking him to do it weekly and all at his own expense. I was swallowing my pride and hurt to 'ask' his assistance in seeing our children in a time of difficulty. Knowing him, he realizes I would do it for him. But also knowing him I knew he would refuse and he did. Hurtful, yes. Predicatable? Yes. But a chance I had to take for my girls.

Given the history in this, 'asking' for anything is very hard and IMHO not something parents should have to do. It should be a given that cooperation and understanding be acted upon in a situation like this, if nothing more than to help the kids see how much the parents are still supportive of their relationship with one another. Just my two cents worth on that.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2010, 03:23 PM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Blah blah blah. I am SSSOOO sick of hearing about systemic and long term control issues. Translation -----> I was too lazy or disinclined to deal with it and now I can suddenly latch onto an excuse to explain away why I didn't deal with my relationship problems earlier. Plus I get the added bonus of projecting the blame onto my partner. And why I didn't have the guts to leave on my own, with my children if necessary. Puke my guts out, again.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 10-24-2010 at 03:31 PM.
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2010, 03:27 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 639
LostFather is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Blah blah blah


HAHAHAHA LOL! love it.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2010, 03:29 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Petawawa
Posts: 23
MamaDM is on a distinguished road
Default

ROFL :-) glad to see such grown up response. Have a good day.
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2010, 03:44 PM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Glad to see you're entrenched in blaming everyone else for your problems.

How do I get an invite to that Manitoulin Island golf tournament?
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 10-25-2010, 08:03 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,175
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaDM View Post

Doctor made me sign an agreement not to drive other than to appointments around town or she would take away my license completely despite my objection that I can't get my children. She said it was too dangerous for me to be driving.
OK this I find very very odd and hard to believe. I know several people who, due to age or medical conditions, were restricted from driving as it was too dangerous to have them on the roads and it was NO driving, period. I don't see how any responsible doctor would say it's ok to drive to some places and not others. That's like saying it's ok to drive drunk as long as you're just going to AA!! I don't buy it.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 11-17-2010, 09:17 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

That's because you don't live in Renfrew. I'm holding my tongue here because odds are I'm related to her ex... distantly I hope. Beautiful country, some wonderful people and some hideous. 4 of my great uncles were murdered in separate incidents, my dad was abused since infancy. Anyway, very sparsly populated area with no public transit, long travel distances, no cabs (at least when I was up there last many years ago.) Driving licenses are very very rarely denied or revoked or suspended because it's basicly a prison sentence.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 11-17-2010, 09:52 PM
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,944
logicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura about
Send a message via Yahoo to logicalvelocity
Default

I found the area to be rather scenic.

1001 Algonquin Provincial Park, Ontario Canada Information - proudly presented by Kanada News' Canada Vacation Planner The Online Travel Directory
Closed Thread

Tags
court, custody, mediation, pembroke, petawawa


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can my lawyer berate me? Holly Divorce & Family Law 8 07-11-2012 12:35 PM
worse off with a lawyer? gumby Divorce & Family Law 9 10-24-2010 12:53 PM
Ditching Lawyer to Represent Myself Rhonda&Kids Divorce & Family Law 8 02-28-2010 12:33 PM
Lawyer out of town? What to do? Edward Divorce & Family Law 2 10-20-2009 08:46 AM
Sounds like my lawyer is gonna bail on me... sasha1 Divorce & Family Law 26 01-18-2006 06:13 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:43 PM.