Concerned Dad

[Celery]

I have a daughter in Ont who moved there two years ago with here son to be with her boyfriend. The relationship with him was shaking with her finding out that he was having an affair with an old girlfriend last summer. He appologized and they sought counselling. Against my advice they bought a house in Toronto in Nov 09 and recently he told her that he can't continue the relationship. They both signed the mortgage although he has made the payments and she has bought the food etc. My daughter is in a real pickle, with a son in school and he wants her to move out. With her income alone, she couldn't even afford a one bedroom apartment. Then there is moving her son out of school. He is in his second school in two years. The best option is for her to stay in the house. Does 'he' have responsibilities since they have only be 'common lawish' for two years?

[Mess]

He bought the house, he pays the mortgage, it is in his name, it is his house. In such a short relationship she doesn't have a chance. If they had been together ten years there are arguments she could make, but but not after 2. That she signed the mortgage will give her some sway, but to expect possession or any money from it would be court fight and she doesn't have a strong case.

She moved to be with him, she has a strong argument for that reason to receive spousal support, at least for 2 years while she gets on her feet and makes some other decisions.

Is the child his child? He should be paying child support if so. If it is not his child, then the situation is messy. It is a short relationship, and he will deny that he was acting as the father. She was providing money for food, so she was basically providing for the child not him, he was just providing housing which he owned, they were little more than room-mates (which is what he will argue, no matter what she says.) This is not an easy case to win.

If he is the father it is one thing, if there was someone else that is something else, it's hard to advise her without clearing that up.

[representingself]

Originally Posted by Mess

Is the child his child? He should be paying child support if so. If it is not his child, then the situation is messy. It is a short relationship, and he will deny that he was acting as the father. She was providing money for food, so she was basically providing for the child not him, he was just providing housing which he owned, they were little more than room-mates (which is what he will argue, no matter what she says.) This is not an easy case to win.

If he is the father it is one thing, if there was someone else that is something else, it's hard to advise her without clearing that up.

I agree with Mess... a claim for child support would be very tricky. Is his bio-dad in the picture? Does she receive and child support from bio-dad?

If she moved to a new Province, then I assume that bio-dad is not around... and the child is school aged, so he would have developed an attachment to the boyfriend...

She may have grounds for requesting both CS and SS...

However, if she pushes for child support, then the boyfriend may demand access/custody.... and if he does, then she wont be able to move back to her home province... she will have to stay in Toronto...

There are a ton of factors to be considered.... but honestly, a clean break may be the best for all involved.

[Celery]

The child is not his. The mortgage was signed by him and my daughter, so title should be in both names. Ultimately what we want to acheive is to buy him out of the house. However, now he wants to get the house appraised to possibly have us pay him for the extra value.

[representingself]

As is his right.... houses are always appraised in these situations, to ensure that the asset is divided evenly.

[Celery]

Yes I agree it is his right. But the title is in both names. There must be a level of decency I hope. Anyway, I have contacted a mediator in Ont to see if she can guide them through the mindfield.

[ONdad]

I guess I'm not sure what you and your daughter would like to see happen. Do you want him to forego the equity built up in the house? If it was his child, I could see that as a possibility, though he'd likely want a deferred payout. As it is, I'd be surprised if he'd just walk away or let her sit on his equity. He'll probably be looking for a clean break.

[Celery]

They have only been in the house for 5 months. We are willing to payout all downpayments etc plus assume the mortgage. Besides our daughters name is on the title as well as the mortgage papers. Clean break for him would be to move out without the liability of the house.

[ONdad]

Originally Posted by Celery

Clean break for him would be to move out without the liability of the house.

Yeah, but from his perspective, a clean break could also entail your daughter moving out without the liability of the house.

I think she needs to point out that, in the event they can't agree, they'll have to sell the house and split the profit or loss. Even if RE has gone up a fair bit in the last 1/2 year, they're still likely looking at a loss with brokerage fees, so I'd stress that.

I'm curious, though, how she'll be able to afford the house if she can't even afford a one bedroom apartment.

[representingself]

Originally Posted by Celery

Yes I agree it is his right. But the title is in both names. There must be a level of decency I hope. Anyway, I have contacted a mediator in Ont to see if she can guide them through the mindfield.

I don't think it is a question of decency.... it is a matter of law..

If there is new equity, then it is only fair that he gets his share.

Make sure that your contacts the finance company holding the mortgage as well.

If she is re-mortgaging the place to get his name off title... then you may be looking at a hefty penalty.

I am also wondering how she is planning on buying him out, reimbursing the down payment and qualifying for the new morgage if she cannot afford an apartment on her own?