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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2012, 11:03 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,809
Pursuinghappiness will become famous soon enough

If you want them, then want them always not just when a divorce comes around.

Marriage is a partnership which requires contributions made from two people to support a household. Traditional gender roles were women spending less time working and more time taking care of the child rearing...and men spending more time earning income. Those are the agreements that spouses often made inside a marriage.

When divorce happens, those agreements no longer apply. Women can ask for spousal support as compensation for the career limitations they had if they stayed home and men get to have increased access to their kids. The previous partnership doesn't exist in the same changes.

Your premise is that children suffer for this...and frankly, you're wrong and there's been a lot of studies on the effects of joint custody on children (The Effects of Custody Arrangements - Child Custody Arrangements: Their Characteristics and Outcomes (2004-FCY-3E)). There is some data to show that high conflict between parents during divorce can affect children but there is no data to show that joint custody and access has any negative effects on children. And in fact, there are plenty of studies that children are far more likely to be emotionally healthy with good relationships with BOTH parents.

If during marriage, a man didn't spend as much time with his child because he was working...then it seems like divorce has at least one positive outcome if the child enjoys more time and one-on-one access to their father, whatever the reason.

My stbx didn't spend nearly as much time with the kids as he is now...and frankly, I welcome it because I love my children far, far more than I dislike him. Barring an abuse situation, I'm unclear as to why any mother that claimed to love her children wouldn't foster and nuture a fair schedule so that their children can have access to 2 loving parents.

You obviously have a huge chip on your shoulder...but before you spout off these conclusions, you should actually read the research because the premise in your argument is entirely wrong.

I think its pretty clear that this board is full of a lot of people (both men and women) who let a nasty divorce affect their view of the other gender in a way that is stereotypically unhealthy. You should probably get some therapy to sort through these issues before you do your children harm.
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2012, 10:26 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,227
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about

Please don't feed this poster, she's a psychopath with what seems like a very personal hard-on for DTTE. She pops her head in every few months, searches the forums for DTTE's posts or any mention of him and leaves a trail of unfounded highly offensive verbal diarrhea behind before resurfacing again a few months later.

Last edited by blinkandimgone; 03-22-2012 at 10:27 PM. Reason: the voices told me to...
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 03-28-2012, 09:10 AM
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Location: New Brunswick
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NBDad is on a distinguished road


Who wants some?
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 03-28-2012, 01:13 PM
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Fedupwithcrap is on a distinguished road

Me please
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:52 AM
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Age Smies is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Age Smies

For an initial pretty good look at CS and SS go to
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