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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2011, 05:31 PM
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I actually had a job for 19 years, with the same company, making 50,000 and had full benefits. I gave this job up when we decided, as a family, to let my husband pursue a new career. We had to relocate in order to do so....My son left his friends and I left my career!!
I do not encourage nor do I discourage a relationship between the two. My ex has made no attempts to contact my child, quite the contrary. The day after I threw him out, he cut off my sons cell phone, nice guy!!
I did suggest counselling, he would not go.
I could not shield my son from what was happening in our house. When you father goes to work and does not come home for days at a time...gimme a break...kids are not stupid!! He even asked his step father, who then lied to him.
Typical man to take the side of a lying cheating dog!!
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Old 01-24-2011, 06:09 PM
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Unfortunately the only thing that matters are a few things:

1. will he be obligated to pay child support for the boy? My answer is maybe, maybe not. You will each have to argue why they should or should not have to pay. IMO, and it is only my opinion, that you are already receiving C/S from one source. Trying to get it from a second is double-dipping. I mean, you could get married 2-3 more times and each time get c/s for the same child....where does it stop?

2. your income is too low. You make less then minimum wage. He will argue to impute your income to an amount you are qualified to make, or failing that, full time minimum wage (so about $20k a year). He will be justified in doing so also as, if is going to obligated to support the child, you should be equally obligated if not more so.

The fact that he cheated is irrelevant. I wouldn't care if the roles were reversed and you cheated on him and yet were still looking for c/s.

Are you willing to ensure that your son and this man spend time together regularly and encourage their relationship, possibly even asking that they (not you) go to counselling to mend their relationship?

Ultimately, I think your chances are about 50/50 in getting c/s. And that all depends on when you get the ball rolling. I mean, lets say this isn't put before a judge for another year or two. Your son will be near done his post secondary (depending on where he goes) and a judge may at that time see limited need.
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Old 01-24-2011, 06:33 PM
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You let your son know about the affair?? Poor parenting on your part...and that would come out in court.
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Old 01-24-2011, 06:34 PM
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Normally, I would give the other side, but in this case...I'd like to know why you chose to damage that relationship prior to giving options.
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Old 01-24-2011, 07:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
You let your son know about the affair?? Poor parenting on your part...and that would come out in court.
Big red X right there. Why on earth would you bring your child into the middle of what is obviously an adult situation? Good for 'dad' for trying to keep it away from the child - you have no business involving him in your relationship issues.

You say you don't encourage or discourage the relationship between the two, I disagree entirely. By not encouraging the relationship you ARE discouraging it, you are enabling the behaviour and telling your son it's ok, and it's not. You don't care if they have a relationship, you just want him to pay.

You say he raised the child as his own and is virtually the only father your son has known. Now you're creating a situation where your son has NO father at all. What right do you have to make that choice for your child? They have a name for that, it's called parental alienation.

I suspect you had a lot more to say when you threw him out and a lot of that likely included not contacting the child. I wonder, did all of this happen in the presence of the child? Wouldn't surprise me if it did. This whole situation is shameful.

Last edited by blinkandimgone; 01-24-2011 at 08:15 PM. Reason: the voices told me to....
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Old 01-24-2011, 07:53 PM
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Ok...Interprovincial...have you taken the time to read any of the conversations going on here. Let me recap for you...my son is almost 18 years old and lives in the same house with us. When his step father disappears for days at a time...give your head a shake. He has heard us argue about it. As much as I have tried to shield him, he knows. He even confronted his step father and asked him if he was cheating on me and he was told no...I did not sit down with my son until after it all came out in the open, I never had a conversation with him before then. Funny how you are calling me the bad parent but the one who has destroyed our family by having an affair and putting us all in the situation takes no responsibility. Grab a brain!!
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Old 01-24-2011, 07:56 PM
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^^EXACTLY what Blink said...^^
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Old 01-24-2011, 07:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeless in Hope View Post
Ok...Interprovincial...have you taken the time to read any of the conversations going on here. Let me recap for you...my son is almost 18 years old and lives in the same house with us. When his step father disappears for days at a time...give your head a shake. He has heard us argue about it. As much as I have tried to shield him, he knows. He even confronted his step father and asked him if he was cheating on me and he was told no...I did not sit down with my son until after it all came out in the open, I never had a conversation with him before then. Funny how you are calling me the bad parent but the one who has destroyed our family by having an affair and putting us all in the situation takes no responsibility. Grab a brain!!
That is a gigantic load of BULLS#!T!
You should be ashamed of yourself... not making excuses for your behaviour.

And IMHO... if the marriage was happy, then the affair probably wouldn't have happened!!

There are two sides to every story.. I am sure that you are not 100% innocent in the breakdown of the marriage.

Which is EXACTLY why adultery is irrelevant in Family Court....

Last edited by representingself; 01-24-2011 at 08:00 PM. Reason: sp..
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2011, 08:14 PM
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He has heard us argue about it.
WTH is that about - why on earth would you expose him to that?? Ridiculous.
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Old 01-24-2011, 08:32 PM
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Ahh c'mon the kid is 18 years old for God's sake, who amongst us hasn't had words with our soon to be x partner during those difficult times, (sometimes with our children around). It is wrong but it happens. Purposely dragging our children into our conflict is another matter altogether. Just for the record I disagree with what hopeless is trying too accomplish here. She should be working and moving on for sure...

Last edited by today; 01-24-2011 at 08:36 PM.
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