Cage animal...

[deedee]

hello everyone...deedee here...i'm living in ontario...and am currently trying to get out of a common law relationship of 8 and half years...we own our home and also a rental property together. i don't want to live in the marital home...he does..BUT...he's not budging...says he doesn't want to separate...however this relationship has been on a downward spiral for 4 years now...even to the point of having to call the police in jan. as he hit me...man that hurts just thinking about that night and admitting it happened to me...
i'm not sure about the rental property...if we could only get along enough to keep it until the economy picks up a bit...suggestions? it's a bungalow that is rented out to good tenants.
i need help...strength...advice...to get out of this relationship...i'm currently on disability and unable to work so i need to keep my costs down on lawyers fees. i know my health issues will never improve living in this stressful environment.
he has an 11 year old son who lives with us 50% of the time. not sure if that affects anything or not. my son is a grown man and living away from home.
i've been told not to leave until a separation agreement is in place...but i'm feeling like a caged animal not able to leave...i need this as soon as possible to keep my sanity and give my body some peace and hopefully start healing.
advice???? please!!!

[saskgirl78]

I was with mine for 15 years it took a long time for me to leave and longer to convince him (still trying lol) that I am done I guess my only advice to you is do whats best for you the legalities I have no idea on when I was done i told him to leave and he did but then i moved me and the kids to a new house that had nothing to with him so he couldn't keep coming back .. have you tried contacting legal aide ?? they could possibly help you

[deedee]

thanks so much for your reply. no i haven't tried legal aide...i don't think you qualify if you own a house??? i should look into it though...
i tried talking to him again monday night...and i just gave up once again...he just doesn't get it. i'm so tired...i need some strength for all of this...i think i will make an appt with a lawyer for a consult...think it might be worth the money...and help save my sanity...
i will look at legal aide first...thanks again!!!

[kamkatie]

It is possible to qualify for legal aid while you own a home. What they do is put a lien on your property for the price of your legal services. You must back this back when you sell or remortgage the home.

[deedee]

since we jointly own the house does 'he' have to sign off on the lien? i would think so...but not sure.

[PhoenixRising]

When I separated 10 years ago I was jointly on the house however, he paid the mortgage. I applied for legal aid and they put a lien on the house. He had to pay it back since I did not have the funds when he re-mortgaged the house to his parents.

[sufferer]

If you are not working and jointly own the house then too you will qualify for lega aid .They will put a lien on the house.I did it and when the house was sold thye took their money back.It was hilarious as they first took the money back and then it was divided between us.
And being on legal aid everytime your spouse will be unreasonable Mr Judge will make him pay the costs .Its worth it over a period of 2 uears my legal fees was only 11000 out of which my ex paid 5200(as he was unreasonable ) and rest were taken out from the sale of house.Not to mention i got sole custody,ca,ss and all retro support too.
If you are in ottawa I can give you my lawyer number .I have posted about my case and ruling which will give you an idea about her.
PM me if you need more information