Anyone ever had SS stopped

[ZZ1203]

I know why my ex wants SS It`s not because she needs it,It has to do with greed and being a thorn in my side because I ended the relationship!

[Fair4All]

ZZ1203,

When you were married, did your ex give up a potential career to stay home and raise the children? If so, SS would be considered compensatory. If she had no potential career and SS is basically to support her so that she can get back on her feet, then it's non compensatory. Of late courts have started being more diligent in enforcing the "making reasonable efforts to become self sufficient" part of the Divorce Act in non compensatory cases (from what I've read anyways). Her age, the age of the dependents and her debt also come into play. See CanLII - 2008 ONCA 11 (CanLII) (this should be a link to the canlii.org website and cite the Fisher case from 2008).

It sounds like yours is the latter case as she is now working and has her house paid off. Was there ever a review order put in place? Otherwise, you may have to show change in material circumstances in order to go back to court. However, like FL, I think her change in employment circumstances could be impetus to go back to court.

Determine how much she benefited financially from the divorce (RRSP's, any equity in the house, SS provided over the years). By showing that she's received hundreds of thousands of dollars, thus enabling her to pay off her house and gain better employment, hopefully the courts may be more sympathetic.

I also agree that we're not in the early 1900's anymore and that a woman who married in the 1980's, though married for 20 years, is more than competent in working at becoming financially independent from her ex. Men can do, right? So why don't the judges think the same way? Are they all in their 70's or something?

[ZZ1203]

My Ex has always worked ,but it was always my cheque that paid 90% of all the bills she took care of birthdays and gifts.She also paid for her own car,she does not need SS, she didn`t need it when we split and she does not need it now.the only reason she went after it was because she is bitter.I was surprized I had to pay in the first place.The courts need to change their way of dealing with SS,and not just order SS because One spouse asks for it.Like I said before I`m going to see a lawyer next month and I`ll see if I have a chance of getting it stopped ,I`ll post it with a big smile if it goes my way but not holding my breath!!!!!!!!

[ANewLife]

I get the opposite...all my ex-wife speaks about is the SS - She doesn't want to move out (Her new partner may buy the home, see another thread titled 'Girlfriend sleeping over' for background).

It seems, I'll be the one moving out, taking the 2 boys with me and she says that is okay 'as long as I get my Spousal Support'!

My question: Would she even be entitled to spousal support if I have taken on full responsibility with the kids and done all the work (i.e. moving and getting a new home etc) while she justs ocntinues with someone else moving in and taking on the financial commitment (she has started PT work since we decided to divorce).

I am thinking of offering some equity as a 'free and clear' type situation, although I realize giving that up means I don't get a tax deduction (as I would if I paid SS on a monthly basis) - which may be better?

PS She also doesn't realize when she is working that she will actually have to pay Child support to me - that will be a real kicker! even though I am the sole earner currently, she assumes she has no responsibilities towards the boys (at least financially). She is alos not claiming custody for them (at least at this stage - maybe reality of what she is giving up will kick in?)

[Fair4All]

Hello ANewLife,

Glad to hear things are amicable and that custody of the children does not appear to be an issue. But as you mentioned, "maybe the reality of what she is giving up will kick in." Be prepared that the court will award her spousal support (even though she may be living with someone else) in order for her to maintain a home for her children (even though they don't live with her full-time). Are you going to court to have an order done up? Even though everything's amicable now, it's advisable to get agreements in writing. For example, she's working part-time now, but is there a plan for her to upgrade her education or work full-time? Attempt to set a time limit on spousal support and ensure you get regular evidence of her seeking full-time employment.

I don't know how long you were married, or what her situation was before you married, but the courts will give her the benefit of the doubt and plenty of time to get on her feet (very possibly more years than you were married).

I'd consult with a lawyer and ask about dollar amounts (her income vs. your income). If your income is significantly higher, make sure you don't have a lot of discretionary income left at the end of every month (but still ensure the children's needs are met). It's archaic, but the Family Court judges will look at how much the man earns, as well as his expenses, and determine how much he is to pay the woman. They don't necessarily look at her ability and means to become self-sufficient. If she worked before and during marriage the ex-husband pays for compensating her for lost career income. If she didn't work before or during the marriage the ex-husband pays whether or not she starts making employment income. The end result is the same: the ex-husband pays. Welcome to 1928. Oops... we're 2008 (except in the Family Courts).

[dadtotheend]

You should negotiate some spousal support but make sure that you establish a termination date in the agreement.

What does work in your favour is that you will have the kids. When the recipient of spousal support has the kids, the duration can be much longer than the typical amounts based on length of marriage, and can even be set at indefinite, which might as well be forever.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

My opinion, is that the courts order SS for the custodial parent.
So unless she gave up a career for the sake of raising your kids, I would highly doubt that she would win a claim for support. How many cases have you heard of where the non-custodial parent (usually dad) has been ordered to pay CS but receives SS because his income is lower then hers??? Hasn't ever happened and I highly doubt it will happen in this case. She is capable of self support, and has no full time obligation to the children, and her basic living expenses void the children are less to maintain even for access to occur.

[ANewLife]

Some added points that may be relevant...

1. We are currently working on a separation agreement to cover issues - it is currently changing based on the fact her boyfriend may buy the house, rather than selling it on the open market.

2. Access will be limited for her - she is not expressing interest in seeing the youngest (may only be daytime every second weekend at most) and will probably see the oldest on a more regular basis (where he may stay over, say once every couple of weeks or similar) at 'her' home.

3. We were married just on 16 years.

4. She has had several attempts at getting back into the workforce in the past_ different career for which I paid for the training and either didn't do anything with it, or very limited efforts.

5. Income difference between us will be something in the order of $60,000 per year.

Further replies and other information would be appreciated if these facts give more insight and thanks for the replies to date

When she has taken on retail type work it only lasts a couple of months before she quits usually due to not liking the management.

She has, however, accommodated school arrangements in her work - ie only does PT and 9-3 type hours with some weekends where I can look after the kids) so has acted as the care-giver for the boys before and after school.

I am, however, a very active parent in that regard as well - all sporting arrangements, laundry and ironing, school council, homework etc - so our parenting is 50/50 even though she is home most of the time.

[ZZ1203]

Went to see my lawyer today about getting SS stopped.Lawyer asked if her salary went up I presume it did the ex works full time now.My lawyer more or less said if the ex`s pay went up I might have a chance to get SS stopped,But stopped short of saying it will be stopped.It seems to me it dosen`t matter that my income dropped only if hers went up.The laws about SS need to come out stoneage,someone has to do something about Family laws Its a big joke.