Anyone ever had SS stopped

[ZZ1203]

Just wondering what it takes to stop SS. I`ve been paying for 8 Yrs was married for 20.Ex works full time makes good money.Do judges take into account how secure my employment is,as i am going through months of layoffs.Her employment is in healthcare of elderly.

[Kimberley]

Does your court order state the length of time you would pay, or was it indefinitely? Others will be better able to answer this for you, but i would assume that you may have to take it back to court for any changes.

[ZZ1203]

No there was no time limit on the court order.The exs financial situation is a lot better now I`m sure her house is paid for and she has relatives living with her.I`m seeing a lawyer next month and just didnt want to hear that i couldnt do anything.

[dadtotheend]

If she is making more than you, how are you supposed to be paying her??? Is there something I'm missing here?

The amount of SS for your court order has to be based on you making far more than her way back then, circumstances have changed, but you can only vary it with a court order, hopefully it will be on her consent, otherwise you will have to litigate.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

I assume because she now has a better employment, that you could apply "a change in material circumstances for that reason. The onus would be for you to show that at the time of the implementation of the SS order she was not in a good financial position, and you were. And clearly document that she has had a demonstratable increase in employment stability and standard of living while yours has declined.

I would suspect that the courts would again look at her need and your means coupled with the fact that you have supported her now for 8 years, and now are having financial difficulty particularly with employment stability. I think they would consider at the very minimum a reduction with a limit applied this time, but hopefully if things are as good as you say they are for her, then there is the possibility that they may be removed all together.
After all FL is never a guarentee.

[ZZ1203]

No I never said she makes more than me,but her situation has improved alot.I couldn`t believe that I had to pay SS in the first place,our house was free and clear when it was sold.She went after my CPP and will get part of that ,I gave her some of my rrsp`s,all moneys was split down the middle.She got 90% of furnishings.I let her take that so she wouldn`t be in debt.The courts don`t seem to care.I`m not saying that i`m hurting financially but I would like to start putting some money away for my retirement in case my employer closes up.With the way the manufacturing industry is dying you think the courts would look at that as part of their decision making.

[ZZ1203]

I`m new to this site so it probably sounds like i`m ranting but I don`t agree with most SS cases.

[raerae]

I don't think it really ends for a LONG LONG time.. My current husband is paying his ex wife SS.. here's the synopsis.

They were together for a total of 6 years, married 5. He has been paying for 10 years, she has been repartnered for 10 years. She has also worked full time at a min wage job for 3 years. Her partner only works 3-6 months per year min wage.

3 yrs ago he asked the lawyer about stopping it, he was told not likely, not worth trying due to his healthy income. Now she took HIM to court for more and retro child support for a kid that hasn't lived with her for over 3 yrs. Lawyer says.. spousal likely to end.. not WILL end, but likely.

Spousal support is a farce.. it is a pension for life. I can't even imagine why men marry.. never mind twice? It makes me angry that some women don't want to move on and support themselves or would be comfortable having their ex husband support their current husband and household.. what is wrong with the law? It is like a pendulam that either goes one way too far or the other way too far.

So the law says.. if you were kind enough to support her for a number of years.. then you're vulnerable enough to continue. The best punch line situation is when they cheat and get paid for life.. hmm

[Kimberley]

The way I see it is (because of my situation of course) but why would a woman who has the ability to get out (or back) into the workforce want her ex to continue to support her.
I married just after turning 20, and we were together for 14 years with 4 children when enough was enough.
We both agreed at the start that I would stay home to raise the kids, but once the youngest was in school, I wanted to go back into the work force. That being said, while I was home with the kids, I taught myself everything I could about computers, web design, and with drawing/art as something I always loved, I added graphics design to the list. This enabled me to make small amounts of money doing stuff when the kids were napping etc so I could spend it on extras for the little ones.
When my 4th child started school, I went to work in the tech industry, and this was a huge boost of self-esteem being away for 8+ hours a day from a man that was very emotionally abusive and controlling. It took me about 18 months being back into the work force, proving to myself that I really could do things besides cook, clean, do laundry before I finally found the courage to take life back into my own hands & get myself & the kids away from the cruelty we lived with the ex.
I absolutely do not want a cent of spousal support from him, nothing, period. It doesn't matter that I stayed home raising babies, giving up taking a degree in accounting to do as such, cause my babies were worth it. I stayed home for 11 years, did everything that involved the home, the kids, etc, and while I _might_ be within my 'rights' to request spousal support, I don't want it.
All I want is child support for the children, it's what they have a right to, and what they deserve, period.
So that being said - when a marriage ends, and you're moving on with your life - why does anyone want that SS?
Just curious I suppose.

[standing on the sidelines]

I never wanted or asked for SS. There were no kids involved and he made considerable more money then I did. I did not want anything more to do with him and to close that chapter of my life. Was it hard, you betcha but I made it on my own without any money from him.