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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 01:14 PM
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So, your mind is made up, your son knows what is going on and what is going to happen.

Leave now then. Don't expect your son to live in the same house as his father when he knows this is happening - make the break - nothing underhanded - lay it out on the table for your husband.

Do you have possession of the rental house immediately?

Do you think that your husband will let you take some of the household furnishings? I know, I know, he doesn't sound like the reasonable type. So, you either take some stuff while he is not there and piss him off to no end, or try to piece together enough stuff from second hand shops, auctions, friends etc. to get by until you can put it together a little better.

Very little value is placed on household contents when your dealing with division of assets - it's more the hassle of it all. But, half of the value of it is theoretically split 50/50. Is that what you want to do?
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 01:58 PM
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I have made up my mind, and yes to immediate possession of rental house. And no I don't think I can tell him I'm doing this cause he will make my life a living hell until I do. And I am at a point 50/50 don't mean a thing to me. Willing to start all over again. He has us so far in debt now, I'm not sure how either one uf us will crawl out, for every time I bail him out he jumps back in with both feet. Right now I am just so tired of it all, and sad part is I still love him dearly but he/we need help and he's not willing so I have to move on.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 02:21 PM
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It's hard, it's sad, it's a waste - but there is no way you are able to change your husband.

Al-Anon can help lots!

You need to create a healthier place for your 13 year old to live and be at peace if that is at all possible.

Beg and borrow enough furniture - beds, kitchen stuff etc. to get you by.

Your husband is already going to blow a gasket it sounds like. And if he ever calms down he may get something out of you to help pay debt down - but as long as he is sitting in the house, on the furniture, eating off the dishes, and drinking out of the glasses (!), you shouldn't even engage him unless it is about seeing the boy.

That being said - I doubt he'd notice things like some towels and sheets, and some plates and cups etc. Just be discreet, take stuff that's not used every day - that can help u a lot.

and - I'm sure you have been to hell and back already - this is just another chapter - you can do it.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 02:49 PM
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That is how I thought I would do. Small at first so nothing missing and than the day I actually move I will take my son's bed, a spare bed for myself and a tv, all of which I have paid for. And as to visiting rights for the 13 yr old, doubt if he would go anywhere with him and not sure I could trust him to take our son. And somedays I think HELL is better than this, I just pray I go through with it all this time. Always make excuses for him and talk myself out of it. Your talking with me is a great help I really do appreciate it all. Thanks
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 02:51 PM
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Your very welcome.

The first step is the hardest.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 02:54 PM
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So I assume you have been there and done all this?
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 03:00 PM
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Very close friend.

I hope you have one. We made an adventure of it. Going to the Salvation Army and got really killer lamps for $5. Little things that keep you occupied.

Good thing your son plays hockey - keep up all his existing relationships with friends - keep him busy - time will fly by and before you know it - a new routine will have established itself.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 03:22 PM
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Oh for sure. Well again thanks for the talk, soon time to pack up and go home for the day and see what the evening brings.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 04:55 PM
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I recommend Kijiji as well.... when myself and my husband moved in together we put all of our doubles on Kijiji for free, along with everyone else. It was great household stuff, some of it almost new. All you have to do is pick it up.

Good Luck.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2010, 05:18 PM
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Thanks I appreciate the info.
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