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Introductions If you're new to the forums, drop by and introduce yourself.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-03-2006, 01:17 PM
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Congrats Grace! Another 'fine' addition to the team of already great people.

Volunteered eh, someone has too much time on their hands!

Hubby
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2006, 09:27 PM
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Hubby wrote:

I am shocked by Grace's decision to stop being a 'moderator' ... not only is she a good friend, but a person with great spirit. We are all great spirited people, we are tested in our lives by what some say or do to us, what really is of importance is how we respond. I truly hope Grace would reconsider her decision, cause someone, somewhere may be needing to hear what she has to say in these forums. Grace, think of all the goodness you can do in peoples lives ... pls stay!


Thanks hubby, let me explain, so maybe we can put water on this fire. And it's really personal, which I try not to be in my posts. I left an abusive marriage 4 years ago, actually he left and it was in the back of squad car (please don't feel sorry for me, just happy for me that I got out). I was a complete mess for the first two years. With the help of family, friends, councillor and yes, lawyers (but they we mine) I started to become stronger and stronger. Now with my divorce over, well sort of, like LV always says there is no real finality in family law, and I think were filing a new motion to have the final court order enforced, but that's for another thread. I really do feel I came through this just fine and I truly am a survivor. Some survivors feel the need to go back and help others, some don't, but I do and this is part of the reason I post so much on OttawaDivorce (also cause I have a boring job, and it gives me a break from it).

I was honoured when Jeff asked me to be a moderator. I felt I could be the voice for the women, as there was a feeling on the board that the views were somewhat one sided. And for the women that feared their voices were been censored or not being heard. Like some other members, I took some comments personally, and went running from the sandbox with shovel in hand in tears. I personally got the feeling that I was being patronized, and it brought me back to the "old" days, a place I never want to go back too. Some would say toughen up, its just a forum board. But I have grown close to a lot of the member,including yourself, both here and outside of the posts, through PM's, msn's, e-mails, etc. and I am also overly sensitive to the women member that have been in abusive marriages, too many are lurking members, although some do find the strength to post. During my marriage I always felt I never had a voice, then when I discovered I did, I sometimes don't use it appropriately (like in my personal attacks to particular members). It's like I'm still getting use to it.

I am disappointed in myself that I was given an opportunity and I didn't use my role as a moderator to help the women feel they had an equal voice and their voices were being heard, I bailed instead.

I'm not sure what can be done put an end to all the "Recent Events" or maybe Hubby is right and it's a test to see my own strenght, or for that matter weaknesses.


Thanks for listening
Grace
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2006, 09:58 PM
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Grace,

With any group, organization, and forum its strength is in its membership equally. I always enjoyed reading your posts and contributions you have made as with the posts, contributions of all of its members. There are many perspectives, opinions and diversity in collaborative discussions from its membership. Each member is unique and special to this forum as every member does have a story, experience, advice, opinion to share. I believe as a membership we all learn from each other. I do hope you continue to be member of this group.


LV
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2006, 10:18 PM
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Thanks LV, just want to reiterate that it is true that I have learnt more about Family Law from you, than my own lawyers .
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Old 05-10-2006, 10:32 PM
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Hi Grace,

I greatly appreciate you putting "water on the fire."

I've always valued your contributions tremendously, and looked forward every day to seeing what you had to say. I learned a lot from you.

As well, you've helped numerous members here in so many ways. As well, for every member there are many people in the same situation who read but don't join, and you're helping them too.

I really do hope that you'll stay here. I've missed you already and you've hardly been gone.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2006, 11:01 PM
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Thanks Jeff for your support. Can I contribute to your site still as a moderator??? Or have I lost the respect of the other moderators and members???
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2006, 11:45 PM
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Grace,

You have my 100% respect.

LV
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2006, 11:45 PM
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Grace:

I am wondering if you would like to email me some information about ideas on empowering women for my next podcast. I don't know if you have listened to any, but I would be happy to have that as a subject.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 05-11-2006, 02:08 AM
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Grace, you are one classy lady, you know that?

When I first found this board, I was so glad to finally find a Canadian-based law forum and anxiously hoped to have some of the confusion cleared for me. What I didn't expect, though, was to stumble upon someone who I would so admire! For whatever reason, be it your ability to see past all the emotional upheaval to give a concise answer, your willingness to extend a hand to anyone and everyone who needs it, your sensitive nature that comes through even when you try to keep it under wraps.. maybe all of it together, you stood out to me as someone to lean on and learn from, right from the beginning. Your strength and integrity shines through very quickly, and you clearly ARE a survivor and not a victim any longer.. nor will you be ever again, I suspect. You're an inspiration to all of us who feel like we're lost in the shuffle at times, and your dedication to keep your personal details quiet for the sake of your kids is not only admirable, but remarkable; very few could live up to that ideal as well as you do. As much as I really think this site is administrated and moderated by some truly great people, I can't imagine a better addition than you, and I really hope you end up back on the moderating team. The mere fact that you'd want to remain in this divorce arena in order to help other people with your experience is truly amazing, and so very appreciated.

Your kids are very blessed to have you for their Mom, Grace. God bless.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 05-11-2006, 02:24 AM
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Grace you need to stick around. Yours is a voice of reason and fairness

I wish people would not participate in Gender wars and have often thought how would the judges rule if they heard the facts of each family matter but were not aware of who was the wife/mother and who was the husband/father. Why should it matter in these modern times what body parts you have when dealing with parenting and eventual divorce matters. ( Childsupport/maintenance, Spousal support,custody/access,property division)

X vs X

I have seen and felt the bias in the court system. My suggestion above was tried out with a panel of well seasoned family law lawyers at a big firm. They weren't told by my lawyer why the litigants names were blocked out.Guess what !....they opined unanimously in my favour in every respect regarding the 4 big divorce issues.... At the end of a 3 hour panel discussion, my lawyer then told them the person they favoured on the issues was actually a Dad/Husband . I was billed 3,600.00 for this exercise. But it confirmed my lawyers thinking and opened my eye. It was probably money well spent

In merely minutes all bets were off...they were no longer unanimous and it was back to depends on who the judge is and that particular justices discretion who may preside.blah blah...ash covering
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