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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Richard519 View Post
My oldest daughter is sixteen, and has been brain washed by her mother, and I am thinking about getting a new lawyer, the next appointment with my current lawyer will dictate which way I will go.
you make it sound like the mother and oldest worked together to get away from you. I am thinking that you are SOL for getting the 16year old back. At her age she can pretty much decide where she wants to be.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 07:49 PM
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For the first three months since she fled with my children, she would not allow me to see my children, and when she was called out on her action, the judge had to put her foot down, and make her understand, that her actions are very detrimental to my daughters.

What's worse, when I asked my daughters mother why she kept me from spending time with my children, she had the nerve to tell me that it wasn't her decision, she deferred power to my oldest daughter to make up her mind on whether or not I can come and see my daughters.

That is the god's honest truth, a grown woman, adult, is deferring power to a teenager.

And on top of that, my outstanding wife was committing parental alienation syndrome, which I have brought to my lawyer, and he didn't want to hear that either.

My lawyer has been undermining my entire position, and wants to use kid gloves on this woman, and I am completely dumb founded by this entire situation.

Youre not alone. My partners ex plays the "the kids are old enough to make their own decisions" or "they have lives I cant force them" or "I dont interfere at all". Your lawyer is powerless against the alienation and whatever she tells them. You have to accept that and work within the law. Hopefully one day your kids will see for themselves. Yes it sucks, yes its awful, yes it is ridiculous. You have to focus on fighting for custody through the proper legal moves. Yelling about kidnapping and alienation isnt getting you anywhere because it cant be proven and lawyers dont go through that. Get a separation agreement put together, get visitation and support hammered out and then enforce that. The older they get the harder it will be but you have to just continue to be consistent, letting the kids know you love them and miss them and want to spend time with them.

A good book to read is A Familys Heartbreak by Mike Jeffries.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Sounds like you may need a more competent lawyer.

What did the judge say? Are you seeing them at all now?
LOL, well after calling around my city, to try and find a more experienced lawyer, I was told that the lawyer that I have now, is a very experienced, well versed lawyer, and that I should stick with this one.

The judge set up visitation, and we are going into a case conference sometime in mid October.

I'm seeing my youngest one, I can't see my oldest one, because in mid june, I went to where my children are staying, because it was my day for visitation, I was a little late, so I was just checking on my youngest daughter, I walked into her bedroom, where she was kneeling on her mattress, she came over to me, I picked her up, and she was watching TV in her room, wearing urine soaked sweat pants.

And that took place with my older daughter, and a nineteen year old being in the front room, not watching my youngest daughter, so I decided to take my youngest daughter, and brought her home, to get her washed up, and in clean clothes.

Before I could get out the front door, my older daughter decided to attack me, and we began to argue, I had to scold her from the front of her place of residence, to the back, because of her yelling at me, and cursing at me.

The cops were called, came out, no pictures were taken, but i'm not allowed to be at that residence, or the cops will come and arrest me.

Since then, the police have released the report, and in it, it says, " There were no visible signs of assault".

Yet, the crown wants to continue pursuing this issue for some unknown reason.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Richard519 View Post
LOL, well after calling around my city, to try and find a more experienced lawyer, I was told that the lawyer that I have now, is a very experienced, well versed lawyer, and that I should stick with this one.

The judge set up visitation, and we are going into a case conference sometime in mid October.

I'm seeing my youngest one, I can't see my oldest one, because in mid june, I went to where my children are staying, because it was my day for visitation, I was a little late, so I was just checking on my youngest daughter, I walked into her bedroom, where she was kneeling on her mattress, she came over to me, I picked her up, and she was watching TV in her room, wearing urine soaked sweat pants.

And that took place with my older daughter, and a nineteen year old being in the front room, not watching my youngest daughter, so I decided to take my youngest daughter, and brought her home, to get her washed up, and in clean clothes.

Before I could get out the front door, my older daughter decided to attack me, and we began to argue, I had to scold her from the front of her place of residence, to the back, because of her yelling at me, and cursing at me.

The cops were called, came out, no pictures were taken, but i'm not allowed to be at that residence, or the cops will come and arrest me.

Since then, the police have released the report, and in it, it says, " There were no visible signs of assault".

Yet, the crown wants to continue pursuing this issue for some unknown reason.
so you basically followed the older daughter around her place of residence and yelled at her?
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Old 09-30-2014, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
you make it sound like the mother and oldest worked together to get away from you. I am thinking that you are SOL for getting the 16year old back. At her age she can pretty much decide where she wants to be.
Actually they did.

And I found out at a later time, that my great wife's sister came and took my girls, their mother while I was out getting doughnuts.

This woman is mentally unstable, and no one wants to see this.

She has told me multiple times that she is going to do what makes her happy, and is willing to ignore the fact that children need a father, and a mother raising the children in the home.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 08:06 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
so you basically followed the older daughter around her place of residence and yelled at her?
My oldest daughter was the one yelling at me, being the father, I was scolding her, and telling her that her actions are not going to be accepted, wagging my finger in her face the whole time.

Unfortunately, my oldest one acts this way, because her mother has been more interested in being the best friend, instead of the parent, and she has allowed our oldest daughter to think that she is the adult as well, and can disrespect me, because her mother did, and I was not going to allow that.

The courts in Canada have stopped parents from using corporal punishment, so that was the only option that I had available to me.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Richard519 View Post
Actually they did.

And I found out at a later time, that my great wife's sister came and took my girls, their mother while I was out getting doughnuts.

This woman is mentally unstable, and no one wants to see this.

She has told me multiple times that she is going to do what makes her happy, and is willing to ignore the fact that children need a father, and a mother raising the children in the home.
unless you have proof that she is mentally unstable I wouldn't be so quick to use that term. Maybe no one wants to see it except for you is because she isn't. Why do you think she is unstable?

She can do what makes her happy and if leaving you makes her happy that that is her choice. Now you have to make sure you get 50/50 of at least the youngest one.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 08:13 PM
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Parenting plans, support systems, proof of being there when she was young, witnesses that can attest to this, being reasonable and taking the high road. This is what will get you the best results for the youngsters.

Is family counselling an option? Start rapport with your 16 year old again. Get tickets for her and her friends to her favorite concert and chat with her over coffee about the great time they'll have. Apologize to her about you and her mother's relationship and remind her your her dad and you'll always love her.

She's 16. She may blame herself for this and trust me .. she's feeling stress too. She may need a big daddy hug.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 09-30-2014 at 08:16 PM.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
unless you have proof that she is mentally unstable I wouldn't be so quick to use that term. Maybe no one wants to see it except for you is because she isn't. Why do you think she is unstable?

She can do what makes her happy and if leaving you makes her happy that that is her choice. Now you have to make sure you get 50/50 of at least the youngest one.
She's mentally unstable because one minute she could be the nicest person to be around, the next minute she's yelling at the top of her lungs at my youngest daughter, she's been exhibiting traits of a sociopath.

And she uses that line she wants to do what makes her happy, meaning that she doesn't want to be told to stop being a whore, stop talking to other men on the cell phone, facebook, stop sending naked pics to other men.

She doesn't want to be told what to do when she screws up, and seems to think that she doesn't have to be held accountable for her actions.

She won't get help for her mental problems, her father almost killed her when she was fourteen.

He put his hands around her throat because she wouldn't do what she was told quick enough, her father threw apples at her chest, beat on her when she was told to do her chores, and she didn't do it quickly enough, she's a bully, she yells at my oldest daughter, but she likes to tell me at every chance that she gets that my children are happy now that i'm not around.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2014, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Parenting plans, support systems, proof of being there when she was young, witnesses that can attest to this, being reasonable and taking the high road. This is what will get you the best results for the youngsters.

Is family counselling an option? Start rapport with your 16 year old again. Get tickets for her and her friends to her favorite concert and chat with her over coffee about the great time they'll have. Apologize to her about you and her mother's relationship and remind her your her dad and you'll always love her.

She's 16. She may blame herself for this and trust me .. she's feeling stress too. She may need a big daddy hug.
She won't, and that's because she's been turned against me by her mother, and right now, I have a court ordered judgement that I can't go to where they're residing, can't talk to her, or the cops will be called on me, and I will be sent to jail.
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