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-   -   is it weird for your parents to receive flowers from your ex (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f7/weird-your-parents-receive-flowers-your-ex-21280/)

tunnelight 08-21-2017 09:54 PM

is it weird for your parents to receive flowers from your ex
 
with the other parent having filed affidavits that my parents and I are disparaging her to the child, and with me living with my parents, is it normal for the other parent to send flowers to my parents for their birthdays ? The other parent doesn't support equal relationship with child and I, and has been alienating me to the child. This would be the first time she has done this (sending flowers to my parents) since separation. Only thing different is that OCL is investigating.

Is it a way of the other parent still trying to keep some sort of a connection with me ? I.e., stalking or harassing me through my parents of some sort ? Sort of like, my ex and I broke up but I still have love for him so I'm going to send his parents flowers for their birthdays and I'm sure my ex will learn about it. Or perhaps, a way to try and get under my skin ? Or just a dressed-up act of kindness in the middle of an OCL investigation ?

Looking for some input from the relationship and manipulation experts.

arabian 08-21-2017 10:00 PM

Your parents have the option of refusing delivery of these things..... Your parents could donate the flowers to a seniors residence or local hospital.

Well you're writing about this so it must have gotten under your skin so she did accomplish that.

tunnelight 08-21-2017 11:10 PM

looking at this in a child's perspective, child goes back to moms, and mom asks child, did you give grandparents the flowers I sent?

wouldn't it be a better approach for me to say to the child, hey your mommy sent these flowers for grandparents... that way when child goes back to moms and get's asked the question.. yes.. I saw the flowers..daddy said they were from you! I gave them to grandparents.

arabian 08-21-2017 11:44 PM

mother sent the flowers with the child?????

tunnelight 08-23-2017 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arabian (Post 222969)
mother sent the flowers with the child?????

No special service delivered it to my house, but on the card it says it's from child.

I'm just thinking if child goes back and mom asks about flowers and child might wonder why I never mentioned her mom sent flowers for her to give to my parents?

rockscan 08-23-2017 09:00 AM

Stop worrying about it. Get through the bs with the ex and when its done it will stop. Shes trying to either prove shes awesome to the ocl (look I send his parents flowers) or trying to get under your skin. Its probably a little of both. When court is done and it continues you can tell her that its inappropriate and you would like it to stop. More than likely she wont want to spend the $50 for the flowers.

Not a hill to die on. Move along and focus.

LovingFather32 08-23-2017 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 223010)
Stop worrying about it. Get through the bs with the ex and when its done it will stop. Shes trying to either prove shes awesome to the ocl (look I send his parents flowers) or trying to get under your skin. Its probably a little of both. When court is done and it continues you can tell her that its inappropriate and you would like it to stop. More than likely she wont want to spend the $50 for the flowers.

Not a hill to die on. Move along and focus.

^^^^^^ Great advice!

tunnelight 08-23-2017 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 223010)
Shes trying to either prove shes awesome to the ocl (look I send his parents flowers)

Not a hill to die on. Move along and focus.

That's exactly it. OCL starts investigating and all of a sudden other parent starts speaking to me at the exchanges and sending flowers .. such a dress up, if it isn't a dress up then why did it no occur any of the previous years and only when the OCL is investigating ? I guess it can't be too different than her taking donuts to the counselor, or what ever else she may be taking to the OCL rep in attempts to bribe her too.

Not to worried about this as I know it will stop as soon as the court proceedings are finished, but just wondering if I should tell the child hey your mom brought these for grandparents. would it hurt for me to say that to the child ? What could happen if I didn't and mom asked child about flowers? I'm just trying to avoid child thinking any bad of me if I didn't take the opportunity to talk good about mom by saying hey your mom sent these beautiful flowers!

rockscan 08-23-2017 01:34 PM

I wouldnt say anything. If mom says something and kid asks you just say you were so happy to see her you forgot!

Tayken 08-24-2017 12:56 PM

Getting flowers is better than getting https://dicksbymail.com/


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