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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 05-15-2014, 09:33 AM
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Who is your post directed to?
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 05-15-2014, 09:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
Who is your post directed to?
To people reading the post, who may or may not believe in SS.
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 05-15-2014, 09:51 AM
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I don't understand why if both parents work and have careers SS is ridiculous to contemplate. The reason I have a job, career and pay cheque is because I chose this path. I made an informed decision. Ultimately, I am responsible for me. The notion of being dependent on someone else is ridiculous to me.

And yes some spouses gave up their careers or gave up on getting a career to provide for their families. I could argue I did more by doing career, school and family simultaneously.

All in all, I don't really feel like anyone owes any one anything. It was a choice. A good or bad choice. No one can predict the future. The spouses who were financial providers could have dropped dead without any insurance or the insurance providers could go bankrupt prior to pay out - what the hell would these people have done then? The answer is: WORK.

If you think you deserve SS and want a good debate about it I will likely engage. At the end of the day my views mean little. However I do detest the public mockery of how some former spouses were taken to the cleaners financially with this. They too "gave all they had" by working for those families. And they continue to give through SS. All this to say, if you want people to view your entitlement and argument objectively then be respectful in how it's portrayed. Laughing and mocking each and every cashing of a cheque demonstrates unresolved emotion and doesn't further a tasteful nor respectful argument. It is also a way to relive the negativities of the past. Be grateful you were successful and for heaven's sake move on and on and on.
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Old 05-15-2014, 10:31 AM
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Objectivity and the ability to see things from other's point of view is critical to debating in a thoughtful and intelligent manner.

I believe this thread ignited debate by one poster expressing unilateral opposition to SS and referring to receipt of same as STEALING.

Of course statements such as this will result in a swift response.
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
. However I do detest the public mockery of how some former spouses were taken to the cleaners financially with this. They too "gave all they had" by working for those families. And they continue to give through SS. All this to say, if you want people to view your entitlement and argument objectively then be respectful in how it's portrayed. Laughing and mocking each and every cashing of a cheque demonstrates unresolved emotion and doesn't further a tasteful nor respectful argument. It is also a way to relive the negativities of the past. Be grateful you were successful and for heaven's sake move on and on and on.
???

I don't see anyone on this forum "mocking" and "laughing" about SS. The people who receive it, like Arabian or momforever1956, are quite clear that they understand SS as fair compensation for the time and resources they directed into businesses and economic ventures owned by their exes, not as some windfall from heaven. As someone above said, it's like their CPP. Everybody knows a friend-of-a-friend who is allegedly "abusing the system" or "too lazy" to work and is living off SS, but I certainly don't see that attitude reflected here.

Good for Arabian and the others that their SS entitlement has been upheld by law; good for Serene that she is able to work full time and have a wicked career and go to school full time and raise kids full time and put a home-cooked dinner on the table every night and volunteer for all her kids's activities and do more for the school than stay-at-home moms and whatever else she does in her spare time; good for me that I have a profession in which I've been successful and happy, and which provides financial security for me and my daughter, even though the home-cooked dinners aren't always happening. None of us are going to end up eating cat food in our old age. We have all in our different ways worked hard for what we have now.
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Old 05-16-2014, 12:43 AM
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One of the problems with SS is that while you have the choice (talking about long-term marriages) to not work and "just collect" SS your spouse is obligated to continue supporting you.

It is a little weird because when married you provided each other services but at the end of the marriage he still has to provide you services and realistically speaking you can openly not make any serious attempt for work + you are pretty much "retired from marriage" and you will get CC for minimum half the length of the marriage.

It really isn't fair, and I am so happy my ex-wife who would have been a career SAHM is now on the curb and has to work 9-5 like me and support the kids as well. I understand the losses sustained by SAHM but SS is not a fair solution, I wish there was soemthign better.
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Old 05-16-2014, 12:44 AM
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Quote:
but I certainly don't see that attitude reflected here.
Nobody will admit that...
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 05-16-2014, 01:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
???

I don't see anyone on this forum "mocking" and "laughing" about SS. The people who receive it, like Arabian or momforever1956, are quite clear that they understand SS as fair compensation for the time and resources they directed into businesses and economic ventures owned by their exes, not as some windfall from heaven. As someone above said, it's like their CPP. Everybody knows a friend-of-a-friend who is allegedly "abusing the system" or "too lazy" to work and is living off SS, but I certainly don't see that attitude reflected here.

Good for Arabian and the others that their SS entitlement has been upheld by law; good for Serene that she is able to work full time and have a wicked career and go to school full time and raise kids full time and put a home-cooked dinner on the table every night and volunteer for all her kids's activities and do more for the school than stay-at-home moms and whatever else she does in her spare time; good for me that I have a profession in which I've been successful and happy, and which provides financial security for me and my daughter, even though the home-cooked dinners aren't always happening. None of us are going to end up eating cat food in our old age. We have all in our different ways worked hard for what we have now.
Amen!
I am employed, re-establishing myself professionally and loving it.
I truly believe that everyone should strongly consider developing skills, getting a good education and being independant.
I contributed not only to raising our children and running a home but was active in my x's professional practice.
I didnt take him to the cleaners and there is NO winner in a breakdown of a marriage. I do not apologize nor feel any need to defend SS. His financial success was a partnership and I was fortunate that I was involved to know what was going on in his business. Once the marriage ended and the lies and deceit started is when my boxing gloves were put to good use and I make no excuses for it.
I am protected from any material change for 5 years thanks to a great arbitrator, a guru of family law and I can promise you that when the 5 years is up, my x's income will have diminished by less than 1/2.
The facts are simple, I am supporting my youngest son through law school with this wonderful SS I am receiving. My eldest son who is also a professional was supported by us (we were married) for 3 years post grad and there is no way my children will pay the price emotionally or financially for a father who is sick, mean spirited, selfish and evil.
Before leaving the province, (he has relocated) he saw my eldest son for the 1st time in almost 2 years. He is angry and disappointed with our children as he feels that have sided with me. My son explained to him that it is his behaviour that is a disappointment.
He answers my son by saying, "I am selfish so what?"
I am so proud of my children and proud of where I am today. After being out of the work force for almost 30 years, it feels wonderful to refresh those good ole skills, have amazing co-workers and enjoy the craziness an office environment brings.
I still believe the best job I will ever have is being a momforever.
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 05-16-2014, 06:15 AM
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Your last item on your list is my favorite too, but I would like to see more comments of how you people define "best interest of the children", special from feminists prospective.
One thing is for sure, since 1985 when divorce act has been implemented mainly based on gender biased decisions, a major reform is needed. The legislator don't mention anywhere what's in best interest of the children, so they're claiming this statement to go give a "legal" motivation of their decisions.

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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 05-16-2014, 06:18 AM
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Well we equalize everything - money, assets, etc. - except the child's time with BOTH their parents. That's testament to the understanding of "best interests of the children".

It's disgusting actually.
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