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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-14-2014, 08:49 PM
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LOL. Maybe. Have you ever thought that 'being alone' at this 'late stage' (age 57) might not be so bad? I actually quite enjoy it.

You say you are on the forum to "learn" then you might go on CanLii and type in: child support arrears windfall.

You've not nothing better to do with your time so have at 'er. Oh, that is if you aren't at your second job getting money organized for the kid's university fund.

I have to go now. Time to go check up on all of my Spousal Support income. Busy, busy.
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Old 05-14-2014, 08:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
LOL. Maybe. Have you ever thought that 'being alone' at this 'late stage' (age 57) might not be so bad? I actually quite enjoy it.

You say you are on the forum to "learn" then you might go on CanLii and type in: child support arrears windfall.

You've not nothing better to do with your time so have at 'er. Oh, that is if you aren't at your second job getting money organized for the kid's university fund.

I have to go now. Time to go check up on all of my Spousal Support income. Busy, busy.

Oh Wow Arbian, my cheques for the year (post dated) are due tomorrow,,, how wonderful we can celebrate together,, wait a moment tho, mine were sent yesterday with the wrong address on the cheques, how soon they forget where they lived for over 25 years and the postal code is also a vague memory, buyer beware my lawyer is back on the job!!!
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:07 PM
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One has to keep one's lawyer busy! Need the tax deduction!
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:13 PM
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Give us a break with all the self defensiveness of those receiving SS!!

I mean enough already. Arabian it does sound like you have earned your share of the family pot. I think many payors resent having to pay for short relationships. I am also sure some payors are just cheap.

It ain't fair to be painted by some as money grubbing on the internet but the judge decided those receiving SS on here should get money so that is the end of it.

The whining is tiring though. It is JUST money.

Look at someone like Working Dad who doesn't complain even though his son, his new family and he has been dragged through the courts for something like 5 years now by one cray cray immigrant leech. This same leech has not paid a dime towards raising the boy yet WD still has to pay for all the court, raise the boy and spend much of his personal time dealing with cray cray.

Seems like most of us have it easy compared to others.
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:24 PM
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I dont consider myself defensive, if anything I am quite pro-active in receivng SS. I worked the job for almost 30 years, I consider it part of my CPP.
What I help build for 30 years has now been destroyed, his income ( quite typical I am told for SS payors) is 1/10th and his professional office is no longer. But low and behold, our arbitrator has protected me and for 5 wonderful years, he cannot negotiate nada. His new (3rd) lawyer told him that he pays or will end up in jail, I dont think that is any kind of threat, he would probably enjoy the free perks.

I agree though, money is just money, health, family and life is so much more about the real important things.
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:46 PM
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It's ridiculous really.

Until you walk in someone else's shoes you really do not know what they have experienced. My point is simply that there are blood-suckers in every facet of life, marriage and divorce and it certainly is not exclusive to SS recipients. If anything I think there are likely many more people who are living off the avails of CS and not contributing by not supporting their children.

Others like me, in their 50s or 60s (by the way I don't consider myself to be old) have given their whole adult lives to their families. I certainly didn't plan on divorcing after 30 yrs of marriage but I sure as hell wasn't going to stay with someone who disrespected me and dishonored our marriage.

I planned to grow old and retire with someone. I didn't shack up with someone and leave him after a few years (I would have been better off financially if I had).

If people don't want to pay spousal support then they should live alone or hire the other person as their employee. It's really quite simple. 50% of marriages end in divorce anyhow and children of those marriages are raised in single families.

In many ways I consider myself lucky. I will only have to worry about myself in my old age. I won't be someone's nurse-maid that's for sure.
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Old 05-14-2014, 10:47 PM
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Quote:
Others like me, in their 50s or 60s (by the way I don't consider myself to be old) have given their whole adult lives to their families. I certainly didn't plan on divorcing after 30 yrs of marriage but I sure as hell wasn't going to stay with someone who disrespected me and dishonored our marriage.
What do you think the rest of us did for our whole adult lives? I wasn't sitting under an umbrella on the beach in Hawaii! lol

I can tell you this: I too gave to my family - everything I have and had. And I worked full time and went to school full time while raising several children. I still work full time and go to school full time and have been keeping this pace for 12 years. I am at home every night for dinner and I cook a home made meal. I volunteer at the kids schools moreso than most stay at home mom's I know. And I volunteer for each of our children's extra curricular activities.

The above doesn't make me a hero. And if I separated from my hubby today I wouldn't be entitled to SS. But I too gave "all that I have" and "all my adult life". Doesn't really make sense to me.

Now, you will tell me that I am not deserving of compensatory SS because I have a wicked career and a pay cheque to boot. But really - how the hell do you think I got there? It isn't luck. It was hard work.

I find the whole "I took him to the cleaners" kind of talk about SS to be rather immature. You wanted it. You got it. Now get over it.
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Old 05-14-2014, 10:49 PM
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Where's the like button?
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Old 05-14-2014, 11:45 PM
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Serene you're being silly.

If you were married to your current spouse for 30 yrs you very well might entitled to SS (or have to pay it) and you would receive it if he had the ability to pay it. Your situation is in no way similar to my situation, or that of others, so trying to compare things to your situation just doesn't make sense. SS is not determined like CS. Each situation is weighted individually in accordance with the laws of the country.

You sound amazing. I don't know how you can be a full-time student (for 12 years - you must have several post-graduate degrees by now!) and work full time and then look after 5 kids and go to extracurricular activities. Fantastic really. Is there anything you haven't achieved? Wow!

No one is saying they took anyone to the cleaners, rather people stood up for themselves and received what the court determined they were entitled to. You are merely projecting your own personal interpretation into things.

You are very fortunate that you have been able to go to school full-time for 12 years. That doesn't mean that others can do what you have accomplished.
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Old 05-15-2014, 10:30 AM
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Of course, in cases where both partners worked and could be financially independent, SS is ridiculous to contemplate.

But some women, especially older women who married in a different era, did NOT have full-time careers, and did NOT have an opportunity for education. Their lives were spent working hard in the home to further their husband's career, with the expectation that this man would support them the rest of their lives. In some cases, this was furthering what was essentially a family business. When the marriage ends, contrary to that expectation, the women have no work experience, no marketable job skills, and little education, while the man has the benefit of a solid career/business he can rely on, which he would not have had without his wife's unpaid support all through the marriage. Suddenly, the marriage is over, and the ex-wife's job basically vanished, leaving her with no income and no prospects, and you think SS is still not called for?
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