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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-17-2015, 03:45 PM
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[QUOTE=Rioe;191347]As far as I know, second hand (inhaling marijuana when someone else is smoking it) or incidental contact (handling/packaging cocaine, but not using it) with drugs does NOT show up in a drug test. Testing labs set the thresholds high enough so that they only capture actual use as a positive result.

But definitely talk to your family doctor about if the child should be tested. Even a small amount, below the adult testing threshold, may be harmful to a small child. The doctor may be able to obtain the actual numbers instead of just being told if the test was negative or positive.

If the home reeks enough that you can smell it by just standing at the front door to pick up the child, the child's father is definitely not limiting his use to when he does not have the child around.

Anyone who claims to need to be high to work is definitely an addict, and guess what, addicts lie about their use.[/Q

Having S5 tested is not a bad idea! Never thought about requesting drug testing for S5, will definitely look into that and see if our family doctor is willing to do it, next question is because it's a medical inquiry, do I need to let dad know? And thank you for your input
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Old 02-17-2015, 03:59 PM
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Personally I think if CAS has closed multiple files then he is not a threat. As for the pitbull thing, do you know how hard it is to actually identify a pitbull? There are many breeds/mixed breeds that resemble pitbulls but they are actually not pitbulls. I for one do not believe that someone who was attacked by a pitbull did not have reportable injuries. Many dogs kill cats or other small animals. I have a dashchund and she would kill a rabbit, squirrel, bird or any other small animal given the chance and she has killed birds before. But she is the most loveable dog ever, is about 10 years old and loves to cuddle and play. Everyone who meets her loves her, but she is a killer of things smaller than her.

My step children came with 38 tattoos each once, 38... all different sizes and shapes. Mom let them tattoo themselves. We actually laughed about it because of how silly they looked.

I have no use for drugs, but I do have many family and friends that partake in weed. My brothers room has a small smell of weed and he never smokes in the house, it is just the weed itself that stinks. If you have issues with his drug use call the cops. I can\t imagine it is as bad as you are making it if CAS closed the file.
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Old 02-17-2015, 04:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
so the dog only attacked one person(one person is one person too many in my opinion). If the one dog is illegal then report it. Don't let them fluff you off. If you keep up the pressure then maybe the dogs will be removed.

I can understand your fears. I grew up with alcoholic parents who both smoked a pack or more a day. I have a glass of wine maybe twice a year and don't smoke. Just because someone is exposed to something doesn't mean that is the path they will go down.

You may have went down that path and now you are a recovering addict are hyper sensitive to that problem. As for the drinking, my friend is a recovering alcoholic and he doesn't have one ounce of alcohol as he said its too easy to go down that slope so he stays completely sober.

If the child hasn't had any issues then maybe its not as bad as you think. If all these things are happening then I hope you are reporting them to the proper authorities. You need to be proactive.
I totally understand where your coming from in regards to addiction/hardship/sobriety, but I don't know that I can sit on the sidelines and wait to see 6-7-8 years down the road, if S5 develops any kind of habit...

As for reporting to the authorities, which authorities?
I spoke to by-law about the dogs when my son then 3 1/2 years old came home with a gash (a little bigger than toonie and bloody) on his ankle and when asked about it, said that dad's dogs were tied up outside but running around and his ankle got caught in the dog chains.

I went to see the local police station a year and a half ago and brought 60 pages of text messages from ex, filled with maliciousness, emotional abuse and threats to myself, of course no death threats, and even then there was nothing they could do stating that they're a very fine line in this area and they weren't going to pursue anything, but I could get a restraining order.

And I asked myself then, forget about me, my kid is living through this just as much as I am....

Maybe it's just me but for four years I've let go so much, and made extra arrangements to live a happy normal life, to ensure that S5 is healthy, safe, and doesn't live in turmoil (should be a no brainer for any parent), and now I'm aware and it's very obvious that this lifestyle is only lived by S5 50% of the time....
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Old 02-17-2015, 04:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Personally I think if CAS has closed multiple files then he is not a threat. As for the pitbull thing, do you know how hard it is to actually identify a pitbull? There are many breeds/mixed breeds that resemble pitbulls but they are actually not pitbulls. I for one do not believe that someone who was attacked by a pitbull did not have reportable injuries. Many dogs kill cats or other small animals. I have a dashchund and she would kill a rabbit, squirrel, bird or any other small animal given the chance and she has killed birds before. But she is the most loveable dog ever, is about 10 years old and loves to cuddle and play. Everyone who meets her loves her, but she is a killer of things smaller than her.

My step children came with 38 tattoos each once, 38... all different sizes and shapes. Mom let them tattoo themselves. We actually laughed about it because of how silly they looked.

I have no use for drugs, but I do have many family and friends that partake in weed. My brothers room has a small smell of weed and he never smokes in the house, it is just the weed itself that stinks. If you have issues with his drug use call the cops. I can\t imagine it is as bad as you are making it if CAS closed the file.

I totally understand your love for your dog, we are proud Great Dane owners, have a cat and some beta fish. Yes it's a zoo and we like it that way! But as a parent, if I saw any type of aggression in any of my animals, that would be my cue to get rid of it and to do the responsible thing weather my dog had aggression towards other animals or humans. You just never know, and the repercussions could be horrible.

Temporary tattoos of hearts and stars are one thing, skulls and guns all over are another, and it might not affect one child and affect another, it all depends on the sensitivity to violence that differ from one child to the next, my S5 is incredibly sensitive and will act out kung-fu panda and ninja turtles scenes on his best buddies at school...NOT COOL!

As for the drug bit.....well, you already know my thoughts on that now..

Child services will not get involved because ex is not selling out of his home, making the child smoke, and even then before a child can pin point that daddy's "cigarettes" have a bizarre smell well it's not very detrimental to the child (this coming from a CAS case worker)...
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Old 02-17-2015, 04:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helpless View Post
Temporary tattoos of hearts and stars are one thing, skulls and guns all over are another, and it might not affect one child and affect another, it all depends on the sensitivity to violence that differ from one child to the next, my S5 is incredibly sensitive and will act out kung-fu panda and ninja turtles scenes on his best buddies at school...NOT COOL!

As for the drug bit.....well, you already know my thoughts on that now..

Child services will not get involved because ex is not selling out of his home, making the child smoke, and even then before a child can pin point that daddy's "cigarettes" have a bizarre smell well it's not very detrimental to the child (this coming from a CAS case worker)...
to the kid they are just fun tattoos. You are making more out of it then it is. Your kid is play acting..remember cowboys and Indians? Its all a part of life. Kids play act.

CS will get involved if there are issues with the father. Obviously they think the child is taken care of when in the fathers custody. If you know for a fact he is selling then tell the police.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 02-17-2015, 04:39 PM
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The problem is that as per court agreement, one,the dogs are not to be around the child at any point and time and two, the father is to abstain from using while S5 is in his care. There is reason why a judge ruled on this and that both these clauses were added to a separation/custody agreement but clearly and for probably a great amount of time now, ex's actions are questionable in favoring the benefit of a child...In contempt....?
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Old 02-17-2015, 04:49 PM
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I suggested the urine test for possible contempt. I dont know if him breaching that aspect of your order is contempt but if you needed to prove he was doing it, the presence of it in childs urine will be an indication. Again though, im not an expert on contempt...
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Old 02-17-2015, 06:22 PM
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I wonder if these are some of those unenforceable clauses? If CAS has closed files and has no concerns, what proof do you have that he smokes around the child? What proof do you have that the dogs are dangerous? Unfortunately it seems like you have no proof and you are using your past as a projection on your sons future.

And as for the dog, even though she may kill birds or whatever does not mean she is dangerous towards humans. A dachshund was originally bred to hunt small game, hounds are still used for different kinds of hunting, it doesn't mean the dog is dangerous. If his pit bull is as dangerous as you claim, then call the police and file a report, but without proof you have very little to go on.

You are getting all worked up and making a mountain out of a mole hill because you are afraid of your son going down the same path you did. While to you it may seem like a reasonable fear, as outsiders looking in, a lot of what you are saying is not that big of deal. I would like to believe everything you are saying, but because authorities have not done anything and closed files, it really does seem like you are getting worked up over nothing.
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Old 02-17-2015, 06:38 PM
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What was this person like when you decided to have a child with him?

Was he a weed smoking, dog owning, tattoo artist?
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 02-17-2015, 06:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I wonder if these are some of those unenforceable clauses? If CAS has closed files and has no concerns, what proof do you have that he smokes around the child? What proof do you have that the dogs are dangerous? Unfortunately it seems like you have no proof and you are using your past as a projection on your sons future.

And as for the dog, even though she may kill birds or whatever does not mean she is dangerous towards humans. A dachshund was originally bred to hunt small game, hounds are still used for different kinds of hunting, it doesn't mean the dog is dangerous. If his pit bull is as dangerous as you claim, then call the police and file a report, but without proof you have very little to go on.

You are getting all worked up and making a mountain out of a mole hill because you are afraid of your son going down the same path you did. While to you it may seem like a reasonable fear, as outsiders looking in, a lot of what you are saying is not that big of deal. I would like to believe everything you are saying, but because authorities have not done anything and closed files, it really does seem like you are getting worked up over nothing.
Telling me I'm getting worked up for what seems to be nothing makes me grind my teeth!

A. You don't seem to understand anything that involves child protection! Read up before you speak up.
B. I've dealt with crap in my life, took the long way to learn my lessons yes, but I still have my son's best interests at heart and I do and can expect from anyone that my child not be in contact with any legal substances. That is not me "projecting" my past onto my son.
C. Your dog can kill anything it wants, as a responsible owner I hope you mussel the bastard before it does bite a human, as should any other animal for that matter...that's simple being a responsible pet owner.

As for proof, you may be right, that's why I come on here, to get information, advice and opinions...
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